LOGIN“You go to court in two weeks. And obviously you’re not eligible for bail, so you’ll wait here.” James says as I sit down behind the desk. “Besides, I found something good so you’re welcome.”“Two weeks?”He nods. “Yes. I don’t know everything they have on you, but I’m feeling quite optimistic, so you’re gonna plead not guilty.”I lift my brows. “You sure about that?”He glares at me. “Lavender, you’re suspected of murder that you didn’t do. If you plead guilty, you’ll probably be stuck in here for at least 20 years. If you don’t, we at least have a chance of pulling you out of this mess you made.”I lean back into my chair. “Okay, whatever. I still think we’re gonna lose the case.”He sits down on the chair opposite me and nods curtly. “It’s nice to see you’ve calmed down.&rd
The days pass by slowly with the only thing to look forward to being the shitty food. I don’t have any privileges such as phone calls or the access to the library so all I do is pace around the room and try not to think.There was no contact from Eli or from Atlas, so if I was lonely before, now I’m the loneliest person on the planet. To pass my time, I sometimes sit down on the floor next to the bars of my cell, trying to provoke my guard into paying attention to me and most often failing. I also sleep a lot. As much as I can, which leaves me unable to sleep for long periods of time so my sleep cycle looks like it’s fresh off Chernobyl. I sleep every two hours for two hours.Somehow, my biological clock adjusted to the meals so I can feel when the next meal is coming and I start to feel anxious and restless, pacing around the cell until the bell finally rings and the bars open, taking me to the cafeteria.I have a whole new respect for the ani
When I open my eyes, it can see that it’s morning based on the light coming in through the tiny little window so high up on the wall that I wouldn’t be able to look through it even if I tried. I lie there, refusing to open my eyes, and then when I finally try to open them, I see that the left one doesn’t open, anyway. It must be swollen because of the bitch who hit me last night.I’m absolutely starving, but it doesn’t bother me so much because everything hurts so bad that it’s just another type of pain that I’m trapped in right now.Soon, I come to a conclusion that the worst thing about jail isn’t the lack of freedom or the shit food or lack of various things I use every day. It’s the abundance of time and the lack of things to do. It causes overthinking.And overthinking fucks you up.It’s obvious Atlas screwed me over. The exact thing I was scared would happen, happened. I trusted somebody an
There’s a question which emerged in my mind many times since I realized my upbringing was a bit different from that of most people. I started noticing that people treated me differently, like they would treat an abandoned wild animal on the side of the road.Carefully, waiting for their unpredictable reaction.With time, I realized this was because I was emotionally damaged. At least, that’s what others call it. It’s what people who were not shown love and affection while growing up are named.The question I continuously asked myself was whether people like me could ever learn how to love and be in a happy romantic relationship. Can someone who wasn’t exposed to it learn it once they become an adult? I wish I knew the answer, but the only thing I know is if it is at all possible, it would take a shitload of work.Unfortunately, nothing in my life has ever given me the motivation to start working on it. Until quite recently.
“Okay. Well, I’m still driving there because I’ll need the car afterwards.” I say and he’s silent for a moment or two.“Job?”I sigh and shrug. “I’ve missed so much already. Yesterday was Saturday and I didn’t go. I really have to today.”“You said you saved up some money. This would be a good time to find another job, Lavender.”I swallow. “It’s a part of who I am, Atlas.”“No. It’s a job. Easily switched.” He argues. I guess he has a point, but it’s not something I want to talk about right now. “We have to talk about us and what we’re gonna do about Kristen.”“Okay. We’ll talk about it later.” I go to exit the car, but he pulls me back and gives me a kiss on the lips. “See you at dinner.”I smile and leave.***It takes me around 30 minutes to pick the o
Once the kitten discovered everything about the house, she wanted to explore the outside, too. She asked to be let outside but when she was denied, she snuck out anyway when the master forgot to close the door.At first, the nature and the sun overwhelmed her with beauty. There were so many interesting smells and animals and she wanted to know everything about the garden.But then the sun disappeared.Dark clouds appeared, along with cold rain and thunder, and everything that was previously exciting and beautiful turned dark and frightful. She rushed to the door of the house but couldn’t snuck back in and nobody saw that she was stuck outside. She looked to the warm inside of the house wishfully, regretting ever wanting to find out what was hidden from her.It took an hour of shivering in the cold until she was discovered. When she was back in the warm home, she swore to never leave the house again.In the morning, all of us have an open disc
The next day begins with making myself my favourite type of coffee, in Italian style. It’s a form of self-care that I badly need after last night. My hand hurts even worse than last night, so I pop a few painkillers.I called work last night and told my boss that I’m not gonna be in for a few days,
He insists on driving me home and says that my car will be at my place the next morning, but that I shouldn’t drive anywhere.“I’m sorry.” I say when we’re in the car. “Don’t feel bad, my hand doesn’t hurt that bad.”“Don’t, Marissa.” He says, and I clench my jaw.“You can’t be mad, injuries are al
“Don’t be a child, c’mon.” he holds out his hand, and I look at it and then at his face.“No. I’m going to fall on my face.”“I promise that you won’t. I’ll throw myself under you if I see you’re falling, okay?”I debate about it for a few moments. God, I’m going to have to hold on to him all the t
Like a child, I stomp outside, completely dark now except for the streetlights and quickly make my way towards the car. "What a fucking bitch! I hate her so much!" I breathe through clenched teeth. "She didn't have to do that! I go out once in the last hundred years and she doesn't let me pass thro







