Chapter one

The Message

My wedding was supposed to start in forty minutes. My fiancé just sent me a text.

Sofia. I'm so sorry. I can't do this.

I read the text three times. Then I sat down on the chair behind me because my legs stopped working.

More than two hundred people were seated in the hall waiting. I could hear them through the wall the low hum of conversation someone laughing, chairs scraping the floor. My mother was down the corridor. The music had already started playing. Everything was ready. The flowers were in my hands the dress was on. The man I was supposed to walk toward in forty minutes had just sent me five words.

I kept staring at the screen. Waiting for another message. A sorry I was joking. A call. Something. Nothing came.

Then my phone buzzed. A call from Elena.

I picked up.

"Sofi! I am so sorry traffic is terrible here. I will be there in twenty minutes okay? Don't stress. How are you feeling? Are you nervous?" Don’t worry you’ll be fine, I’ll always be here for you.

Her voice was warm and easy. Like it was another day. Like she had no idea anything was wrong.

"Fine " I said. "Drive safe."

I hung up.

I sat still and let Davens message and Elenas voice sit next to each other in my chest. Davens. Elenas voice. Something cold moved through me slow and quiet the kind of feeling you cannot name but cannot shake either.

I put the flowers down on the chair. I picked up my bag. I walked to the door.

"Sofia!" My bridesmaid Chloe stepped in front of me immediately her eyes wide. "The ceremony starts in thirty minutes. Where are you going?" You can’t leave. It’s too dangerous.

"I need to step out for a moment. I’ll be back"

“I can not allow you”

"You cannot step out the guests are waiting"

"Chloe."

She looked at my face. Moved out of the way.

I took a cab to Davens apartment. I told myself the ride that I was overreacting. That it was feet. That I would get there Daven would open the door. We would sit down and talk and laugh about this later. I told myself that all the way. I almost believed it.

I used the key Daven gave me six months ago. For when I move after the honeymoon he had said.

The apartment was quiet when I stepped in. Davens jacket was on the couch. Then from behind the bedroom door I heard it. A soft laugh.. Familiar.

A laugh I had known my life.

My feet carried me across the room before I made any decision to move. I pushed the bedroom door open. Stopped.

Daven was on the bed. Elena was beside him.

The sheet was pulled around her loosely. Her hair was down. Her earrings were still in. The earrings I had seen on her face on that video call twenty minutes ago when she told me she was stuck in traffic and would be there soon.

Nobody moved. Nobody spoke.

Daven looked at me the way a man looks when something he was planning to deal with has shown up too soon. There was no shock on his face. No real guilt either. Just the expression of Daven who has been caught and is already thinking about what comes

"Sofia —" Daven started.

"How long." Not a question. Just words coming out of my mouth.

“How long I asked again”

Daven looked at Elena. Elena looked at me.

"Eight months " Elena said.

Eight months. Daven proposed to me ten months ago. I had spent eight of those months choosing flowers and venues. This dress while Daven and Elena were doing this. While Elena sat across from me at dinner. Asked me if I was excited. While she held my hand. Told me Daven was a good man and I was lucky.

"You were supposed to be my maid of honour " I said, looking at Elena.

Elena did not look away.

"I was going to tell you " Elena said. "After the wedding. I didn't want to ruin your day." I still considered you my friend.

After the wedding. Elena was going to stand at that altar beside me. Hold my flowers. Smile at my face.. Let me marry Daven.

Daven shifted on the bed.

"Sofia look. Now that you know we should talk about this properly. Calmly." Put yourself together and let’s talk.

"Calmly " I repeated.

"I know this is a shock.. Honestly things between us have not been right for a long time. You felt it too. You had to have felt it."

I looked at Daven. This man I had given three years of my life to. This man whose name I was supposed to take today.

He stood there without saying nothing.

He stood like he had already picked a side.

"Get out of my life " I said. "Both of you."

I turned around. Walked out. Through the apartment out the door into the empty hallway. I pressed my back against the wall. Stood very still in my wedding dress and did not make a single sound even though something inside me was breaking in a way I had never felt before. I felt shattered and broken.

Then through the door I heard it.

Elena. Laughing.

Together. Easy. Like I had already been forgotten. Like I never existed.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Then Elenas voice came again. Quieter this time. Serious.

"She won't be a problem. She never is." She’s too weak.

A pause.

I’ve never been that betrayed in my entire life.

Then Davens voice, low and careful.

"Does she know she already signed the papers?"

I stopped breathing.

"Not yet " Elena said. "And by the time she figures it out it will be too late."

They both laughed again.

My back was still, against the wall. My wedding dress was still on. My hands were shaking.

What papers.

What had I signed.