the sun and the moon.

I felt like I lost my voice- from singing and screaming and laughing too hard when Tim sung out of tune and it was really hilarious that we need to stop the van because Sir Flinn can't control his laughter. My cheeks are really tired from laughing and my eyes are crying with the happy tears.

Tim, Miss Mia, and me are the vocalists while Sir Flinn is the one who keeps on singing the instrumental parts and it sounds extremely weird. And to my calculation, we played almost 458 songs and the unfinished one when Sir Flinn said we arrived. 

The resort is called "London Beach", and it's funny that is sounds like "London Bridge". And the fact that we are not in London, it made me think how crazy a person's mind is.

I got amazed when I saw how lively the place is even though it's already quarter to four in the morning. There still people who are swimming in the sea, and then others are on their cottage, living life. 

We went to the booth where you can get your ticket and book your hotel rooms. We decided to reserve two rooms- me and Miss Mia will share, and then the other room will be for the gentlemen.

Our rooms were just a distance away from the entrance. I walked with Miss Mia while Tim is with Sir Flinn, parking the van first. I help her carry her bag and listen to her telling how funny Tim is when he sung out of tune. I can't help but to laugh again as the moment kept on repeating in my mind.

I quickly jumped to the bed the moment Miss Mia opened the room and turned the lights on. It was a big one-enough for the two of us. I opened the sliding door for the balcony and the fresh air made me feel goosebumps. I watched the sea and how the moon hides and it made me feel new. It feels like I am under a new sky from the sky I've been under for the past decades of my life- those days and nights doesn't made me feel alive like how I feel right now.

I felt Miss Mia going to my direction,then I saw her stand next to me. She closed her eyes, feeling the wind and the sky welcoming her. I stared at her eyes and I can see uncertainty, pain, and emotions only her knew. “You okay, Miss Mia?” I ask making her take a deep breathe. “I just...feel guilty.” She said while staring at the moon.

“Guilty for what?” I stated in my natural tone.

She then looked at me and tears are in her eyes- wanting to escape. “ For living. Merliah just died but it seems like I am not affected by it...cause here I am, having fun.”

I suddenly feel a lump in my throat. I don't know what to say or what to do. I just want to listen to her. “ When I was on your age, I never experienced having fun, I was given a big responsibility at a young age.”

“There's no time for me to have fun and enjoy my youth. I need to work for our family.” She continued and watched the waves crashing. “My parents' wages are not enough for us, it is only enough for our meals. That's why I worked hard while studying. My teacher would scold me if ever I slept in her class.” She giggled and then tried her best to not cry. “ My father was illed and it made me stop going to school, I spend my years in working and kicking shits out of my life.”

It made me respect her even more. She's one of the strongest woman I've ever met. The way she hides her painful battles, the way she embrace her imperfections, it made me realize how lucky I am to not experience those wars she have been to. She have been through a lot, but still here, existing to make me feel blessed. God gave me too much. He gave me a home and now an angel- telling me being alive is precious. 

“Merliah must be happy right now seeing her Mom living her life. Miss...showing you are happy doesn't mean you are not battling with your emotions anymore. You are just being strong to hide your scars and let people feel you are totally fine.” I started.

“She doesn't want to see you grieving...life is short and as what you said, life must continue. Miss...time will come you will be with Merliah again.” I continued and hold her cold hands.

“For now, we just need to live. Even if we are dying inside.”

I wore my white cardigan and comb my hair before going out. Miss Mia is already waiting outside with Sir Flinn and Tim. I went to the mirror to check how bad my face is. I narrowed my eyes and big eye bags are spotted.

Miss Mia and I didn't went to sleep. I am not sleepy, either. Tim and Sir Flinn told us that they want to catch the sunrise. I quickly agreed as I miss catching the sun waking up. Miss Mia was the most excited, she said it was already a long long time since she last witness how the sun rise.

We sat by the white sand and waited for the sun to arrive. I hold my cup of coffee while silently staring at the view. Sir Flinn and Tim are talking about the word ' rendezvous', then Sir Flinn would say he thought it was a cousin of the rainbow. I just find him very strange. 

I just listen to them arguing and Miss Mia would tell them they are talking nonsense and would suggest to talk about something interesting. Then there's this Timothy Williams who asked what we think about the sun and the moon. It's funny how they talk about rendezvous then suddenly shift to talking about the sun and the moon.

“ I think they are star-crossed lovers.” Tim stated. Sir Flinn's forehead wrinkled and then confusion was being painted on his face.

“How did they become star-crossed lovers when the moon is called as moon and not as star and then the sun is called as sun when they could name the sun as star, since it's a star-is it a star?” 

Then they both argue again.Hearing Sir Flinn's answers made my stomach hurt from laughing. Then Miss Mia's anger issues will make them stop talking for awhile then start again.

“How 'bout you Kath?” Sir Flinn spoke to me making me turn my head to his direction. 

“What about me?” I uttered in a hush voice.

“What do you think about the sun and the moon?”

I took a deep breathe making them stare at me and wait for my words to fall.

“The sun and the moon, it represents our life.The sun rises and it's a new day, then it continued on shining. But sometimes...there are unexpected rains.But there's always a rainbow after.The sunset, it always reminds us that happy endings are possible, to remind us to stay alive. Then when time comes, the moon will show up, the moon represents the best people in your life, the ones who will give you light in your darkest hours. When the moon felt your okay, it will disappear and the sun will shine again, but the moon will always be there with you when you feel like you are alone.”

They are still staring at me and I notice Tim's lips are slightly open and it seems like he didn't expect it. Sir Flinn then pat my shoulder and he's still staring at me with a smile on his face.

 “You are as genius as your Grandma.” 

I give him a smile he deserves and then face the sky. The sun is slowly and beautifully rising. Then finally, it shines. I sipped my coffee and hugged my knees. It's been a long time since I witnessed how it smiles at me. Just hoe fast the days passed by. From escaping to being home, but I know there's still a long journey ahead.

We are already on our way to our rooms when Tim grab me by the arm. Miss Mia cleared her throat reminding Tim she's with me.

“Can I borrow her?” He stated with his cheeks turning red.

“Just don't do anything stupid, okay?”

We walked by the shore with the morning air, the sunrays touching our skins,and my feet meeting the warmth of the waves. 

“Kathareen, can I ask you something?” he said breaking the silence between the two of us. i can sense he's not feeling emotionally well. He's been avoiding my stares the time we left Miss Mia.

“You are already asking, just go ahead.”

He took a deep breathe and stop from walking making me froze in my position. Then finally, he stared back to me.

“What would you do if.. I die before you?”