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Chapter 6

Author: Gourdbrook
Dad still remembered the first time I had an episode. The three of us were in an elevator together, and I was only three years old.

But by then, Mom's postpartum depression and separation anxiety had only gotten worse, so much worse that whenever anyone showed me any affection, she would lose her mind and take all of her rage out on me.

Dad knew how obsessive she was. That was why he'd spent all these years holding this broken family together, refusing to divorce, choosing instead to watch ove
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  • Locked in the Dark, Freed From Her   Chapter 8

    When Mom got home, everything was still exactly the way it had been the day I jumped. The dark room stood there quietly, untouched.Mom stopped in front of it. I couldn't read the expression on her face. After a moment, she turned around, went down to the basement, and came back up with a power saw.I had a feeling I knew what she was about to do, and I didn't know how to feel about it.She looked at the dark room, raised the saw, and started cutting. Piece by piece, she tore apart the place that had held a lifetime of my suffering, until the whole thing collapsed with a crash.It was gone.Mom sat on the ground beside the wreckage, drenched in sweat, the hand holding the saw still shaking. But her eyes were calm, and there was something like a smile at the corner of her mouth."Can you see this, Pheebs?" she said softly. "I cut it down. No more pain. Never again."I looked away, my clenched fists trembling. "But I'm already dead, Mom."She went to my room next and sat at the f

  • Locked in the Dark, Freed From Her   Chapter 7

    Dad smiled bitterly. "If I'd just been decisive and taken Pheebs away, none of this would have happened."Mom's eyes were hollow, her voice flat. "Ever since I gave birth to her, it was like something in me broke. I was never fit to be a mother."She was barely talking to him anymore, just murmuring to herself. "Whenever you were good to her, I'd go insane with jealousy and take it all out on her. Neil, I wasn't always like this."Dad lowered his gaze, grief flickering across his face. "It's postpartum depression that turned into something worse. I'm to blame for that too."You really weren't always like this. You were bright and full of life, the kind of person who stood out in any crowd the second I saw you. You were the kind of person who'd hold an umbrella over a stray cat in the rain."Mom's tears fell as she listened. She buried her face in her hands, choking on sobs. "Was I really? And I turned into this."I killed my Pheebs."Dad's eyes were full of anguish. "We're both

  • Locked in the Dark, Freed From Her   Chapter 6

    Dad still remembered the first time I had an episode. The three of us were in an elevator together, and I was only three years old.But by then, Mom's postpartum depression and separation anxiety had only gotten worse, so much worse that whenever anyone showed me any affection, she would lose her mind and take all of her rage out on me.Dad knew how obsessive she was. That was why he'd spent all these years holding this broken family together, refusing to divorce, choosing instead to watch over me quietly from a distance.He didn't dare get close. The only time he ever allowed himself to look in on me was in the dead of night. Mom's fixation had only intensified over the years. She wouldn't let him be kind to anyone, including his own daughter.So, he'd suppressed every instinct for over a decade, all so I could at least grow up safe. But he was wrong. It was his cowardice that led to this.He was the one who was wrong.I watched as he staggered to his feet and knelt beside me, g

  • Locked in the Dark, Freed From Her   Chapter 5

    The wind screamed past my ears, and then there was a deafening crash as my body hit the ground right next to Mom and the film crew. The livestream hadn't been shut off yet, and the chat went dead silent.Blood splattered across Mom's face. She flinched, squeezing her eyes shut on instinct. When she opened them again, she was looking at a face she knew, one that was no longer recognizable. She just stood there, completely frozen, unable to process what she was seeing.It was the crew who screamed first, stumbling backward in panic. The livestream erupted alongside them."Is this a special effect? Did someone actually die?""Call 911! Call 911! Someone jumped!""Oh my god, she's actually dead!"The crew finally snapped out of it and killed the stream. And the woman standing in the center of the blood, less than three feet from the body, finally reacted. She walked toward me slowly, forcing a smile that was stiff and grotesque."P-Phoebe? Quit messing around and get up!"Did you h

  • Locked in the Dark, Freed From Her   Chapter 4

    Mom looked a little caught off guard. "Suit yourself."I nodded. "Let's go home."The next day, I put on makeup for the first time in a while. When I left, I didn't want to look like a wreck. Dad noticed and asked, "Where are you going?"I paused. This was the first time in my life he'd ever started a conversation with me on his own. Instead of answering, I asked him a question of my own. "Dad, do you hate me?"He was quiet for a moment. "No."I smiled. That was good enough. At least someone in this house didn't hate me.Mom walked in just then. She lit up when she saw Dad was actually home, but he brushed right past her without a word. Her expression froze, and her hands clenched at her sides."I've agreed to have a documentary crew film here," she said.I didn't understand, so she went on. "It's about documenting real episodes from people like you, people with phobias. They're short on authentic footage, so I told them you'd give a live demonstration."I stared at her blankl

  • Locked in the Dark, Freed From Her   Chapter 3

    My ears were ringing so badly I couldn't hear anything else. After I hung up, I scrambled into Mom's room, holding my phone out in front of her like an accusation."Didn't you say that as long as I was brave, you'd let me go to college?"She was in the middle of her skincare routine, and she looked at me coldly, the way she always did. "That's right. The condition was bravery. Look at yourself. From the moment the party started, you haven't been brave for a single second."She smiled. "So, why would I let you go to college?"I stared at her, the ache in my chest so suffocating I could barely breathe. "Mom, that's my dream."She rolled her eyes, dripping with contempt. "Dreams are for the brave. Cowards don't even deserve to say the word.""I'm not a coward!" My voice was shaking.She stared at me coldly, not like she was looking at a daughter, but at an enemy. "You're afraid of the dark, afraid of what people say. If you're not a coward, then what are you?"She pushed me aside

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