Losers crumble

¶ Karel ¶

“What were you thinking, asshole?” Zaynes' angry voice came too loud in my ears. “Your name has been removed from the soccer team by your captain. No more NSS for you.”

There was a sharp ring in my ears as I looked over the field. It became blurry as players packed their bags, boots scraping the concrete like the remnants of my heart.

Soccer was the only place where people shouted my name because they wanted me – not because I'd done something wrong. Now someone wants to take that position from me?

I stood sharply, “Why can't I play?"

“Look at how bruised your face is. You fainted in the field and you want to play? I already convinced your captain and he's removing you.” His nose flared.

“You traitor.” I ran, despite my legs giving way. Zayne has always been a jerk since day one. Since we were forced to live in that house as siblings.

The coach office was the only light left on in the school. “Coach," I breathed out as he was already leaving the office. He turned slowly to me. “Why are you here?”

"I should be, coach. Don't try shit like removing my name from that list.” I called out angrily.

He scoffed. "You have bad health. I can't let you keep playing. Your dad called too.”

My jaw tightened. Every damned time they have to call my dad in this. "What does he have to do with my NSS? I hustle the money. And he has a fucking say?” I spat.

"Watch what you say Karel. I'm not your family.” He glared.

I grimaced. "Of course you're not. That's why you listen to every damn thing he says.” I came closer intimidatingly. Like I could do a thing. “You put my name back on that list. Or else I'll break the whole team, trust me.”

Coach sighed like he was tired of me already. I'd always been the kid he never asked for. And I was ready to make him ask for me.

He scratched his head lightly. “I didn't write the list, Devan," he took a full glance at me. “Ferdi did."

Ferdi. That name again, my nightmare. Of all people. Him? Someone I'd sold myself to on a very low price and wouldn't stop wanting him.

“You mean the captain?" I asked to be sure because at this rate I could be dreaming it.

I dreaded him so badly. I hated his gut but my traitor heart won't stop beating hard when he's around.

And now I have to meet him, at least for my name to be included. But remembering his relationship with my brother made my chest tight.

I left the office to be cornered by Dael. She folded her hands in front of me. “You fulltime asshole. Look at you. You said you were fine before the game. " She frowned, hitting my chest with every word, her slightly muscled arms buffing.

“At this rate karel. You should be given an Oscar for sneaking out hospital beds." Miguel came forward. Our team's goalkeeper.

"Jeez. I only have to secure my position, can't I?”

Dael slapped my arms. “You call us nosy for caring about you?”

“Ouch, Dael." Mind how you hit people. I'm dying inside?”

“How are you coping? Heard Ferdi removed you from the team." Miguel asked worriedly.

"Darn that hot senior,’ Dael commented.

"Yeah he did. And I'm gon’burst open his head." I wasn't sure of what I was saying at least I was assuring myself that I won't pee on myself in front of him.

“I'm really sure you'd do that," Miguel clicked his tongue. “You got to look at his face before doing it though,"

A chortle left my throat, and Dael spiked the fire. "They're many hot guys in this school but everyone wants him, I don't see anything special,"

She'd always held grudges with people I hated and it gave me a kind of joy.

“Of course he scored a hat-trick and went naked in the field,” Miguel imitated. My jaw clenched unintentionally.

“Coach lets him do whatever he wants. He'll probably go pro,” Dael scoffed.

“Guys, aren't you supposed to be sharing in my pain? I just told you I was removed from the team.And here you are lusting over someone who wouldn't even look at you,” I rolled my eyes and walked out the field as they both kept calling my name.

__

No one was in school when I left the nurse's office. I traced my way back home. My muddy shoes suddenly felt heavy. The house was unusually quiet. Every step I took toward it felt wrong. Like my feet already knew something inside was waiting for me.

The voices upstairs made me stop dead in my tracks. Zayne's laughter got too loud, my hands clenched around the disposable bag. Then slowly my brother's room door opened. Familiar footsteps that've shamelessly mastered. I hate that I'll recognize it anywhere.

Ferdi Devries

He came out of Zayne's room, shirt unbuttoned, eyes drowsy.

Our eyes locked for five seconds. His dark hair fell to his face and those pale grey eyes with gold rings stared down at me.

My blood boiled under my veins as I glared hard at him. He had removed my name from the team for reasons I don't know.

I looked away. Too late. My stupid brain had already opened the memory I'd spent all day trying to bury. ‘Urgh, Karel you're so tight.’ My jaw tightens every second I recall the incident.

I held my breath when I walked past him so I wouldn't inhale too much. That vanilla scent and cold wood hit my nostrils. I scrunched my nose up. I can't be doing this in front of him.

His eyes followed me till I hit my foot on the metal board on the floor. “What? I seethed under my breath.

"What?” He drew. I've not touched you yet. Stop overthinking things.”

My jaw tightened as I tried to hold myself back. He brought out a glass and poured a drink for himself. His lips were darn perfect, no wonder the whole school would go on their knees for him, especially the coach and principal. The thought made me roll my eyes.

"You wouldn't stop staring.” He said without looking up.

“I wasn't staring. Why did you block me from the team?”

He grimaced and it annoyed me. “I do what I want, Karel,”Ferdi swept his lazy lashes in my direction.

“Stop thinking you can have anything you want because of your father's money and that stupid face of yours.” I said angrily disgusted with myself too.

His gaze tightened but it disappeared immediately "I could have anything I want, Karel. Including…you” His lips curved into something like mockery?

My stomach twisted. Why did he always sound so sure?

Fuck face.

“You might have that privilege, you don't get to own me, I would never be your object,” I gritted angrily even though my insides were shattering.

“And if I do?” He drawled again, sipping from the glass.

My fist clench, nothing seems to make him blink. I hated the way my body reacted to him and the way my eyes kept going down his waist line that was still open from whatever he and my brother had done in there.

“You can't.” The words left me dramatically.

He smirked and came closer. “You keep pretending whenever I'm close. Tell me the truth, your heart’s racing ri?"

"Don't think you're worth my pretends, asshole.” I breathed out sharply. I almost convulsed on my lie.

“I want to fuck you again." He said with a smug smile. I bit my lip hard to conceal my itching fist.

He's dating Zayne and he still talks bullshit like this. I came at him angrily without thinking, my fist landed on his iron jaw. I got back the shock. “Ow, what's with your face?” It was like I'd punched steel. Pain shot through my knuckles before fear finally caught up with me.

I looked up first and regretted it. Those eyes were different now. The gold ring was gone, just pale grey. Empty and glaring. It was then I knew I'd fucked up big time, punching the guy who controls your roster.

Oh, Karel you're doomed.

He raised his hand but I still stood there not blinking, like I wouldn't faint if his hands touched me for real. I was already whispering my last prayer when Zayne called from behind.

I breathed out, loving Zayne for the first time. But his glare made me reconsider. “What were you two doing?"

Shit, how do he want me to answer that? I pressed my lips into a thin line. I wasn't gonna say a thing. But his eyes were still searching.

Ferdi gave me a last look before heading out and I bit the corner of my mouth when my eyes lingered on his back.

Now it was Zayne's turn to hold me by the collar. “I asked what you were doing with him.”

“What did it look like? Like I was kissing him for money?” I scoffed and a punch landed on my face. My lips bursted again, the one the nurse treated earlier.

I tasted the blood on my lips, wiped it away with the back of my hand. None of us spoke. The house suddenly went quiet except for the ticking clock and sound of water dripping from the kitchen tap.

Zayne looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't. His gaze just went cold black. I hated that a part of me still wants his brotherly care. Because I'd waited for an apology all my life but never got any from him or from anyone. “You're not different from them,”

“I know. At least you would stop letting dad hit you for allowance.”

“By fucking Ferdi?” I scoffed loudly. “You fuck him for money and you think it's fine?” You think I wouldn't know? Claiming he's your best friend and shit.”

“At least it's better than getting beat up.” His fist clenched at his side with a tight jaw. I laughed a short bitter laugh.

“Stop acting like you don't hit me too. Stop acting like you care. It's my bruises, I never complained to you or to anyone. And you know what, Zayne? I don't feel pain anymore, so leave me the fuck alone.”

Zayne's jaw went still but he didn't hit me like he did when I ran my mouth.

Another round of silence settled in between us.

“I don't need your help, Zayne. Get that into your fucking skull.”

The smell of tobacco reached me before the man did. My shoulders tensed on instinct. Trenton pushed the front door open. He staggered in. I covered my nose not minding that he might use something hard on me. Zayne shifted back.

Trenton looked back at the door Ferdi had walked through. “Who was that?”

None of us answered and he staggered away shaking his head. I watched him get into his room till the door shot loudly. That's when I realized I'd been holding my breath.

I faced Zayne. “At least stop bringing him home. It's disgusting”

My phone buzzed countless times. I didn't look at it, but the continuous vibrating made me look. My Fast cash notification blinded my screen. I'd lost, again. Fuck!

Diego was gonna come for me.

Then a message popped up without my consent. Without punctuation.

‘Now you owe me, Vice’ I stared at the screen till it blurred.