Lahat ng Kabanata ng Playing For Ruin : Kabanata 1 - Kabanata 10

Karel The whole morning routine was a drag. I fumbled several times with my boots as my hands couldn’t stay still. Ferdi wasn’t here but I could still feel his strong presence I refused to admit behind me. I tried focusing my eyes on the training team. It felt impossible when I remembered how wrecked my ass was. Every strain felt like a pull in my veins. “Urgh, Karel, you’re so tight.” His voice echoed in my ears like a bad dream. I slammed my fist on the board with a twisted face. The team all turned to look at me with pained faces. I bit my inner lip. “What?” Most of them rolled their eyes and Dwight did a sharp click with his tongue. “You’re not supposed to be here, Devan.” He stepped further, hands akimbo. “You’re not on the list. Why bother training?” He grimaced with shoulders out like a stupid person. “You have a new replacement.” He pointed behind him. The new guy behind him snorted. My jaw tightened. Dwight thought he was something just because his father was the

Karel My feet moved on auto pilot because I actually never wanted to go there. Never wanting to even look at the message. But he said he’d give back my position, that’s why I’m doing nothing else. I told myself, as I counted the steps to the equipment building. Every step echoed through the empty hallway. I could still turn around. No one would know I was here. Including Ferdi. The image of the roster flashed in my head. My name was gone. My feet kept moving. The dim light in the passage went on. Then footsteps. It wasn’t Ferdi. I know because I’ve got it in my stupid brain that failed to comply. Just as I was about to turn left, I bumped into Zayne. “Watch out—” he started, but his eyes turned cold when he saw me. “Karel?” I suddenly felt like itching my head. My lips pressed into a thin line. My jaw clenched unintentionally when I perceived Ferdi’s cologne on him. “What are you doing here?” Zayne emptied the silence. I just knew he’d talk first. Always the one to ask question

Karel The cold air did nothing to my sweating palms. I found my way back home, flinching at any slight noise around. I stumbled four times on thorns, it still didn’t wake me up. Ferdi’s text still fresh in my brain after the cops were gone. “Two. Mark it on your skin if you have to. So you don’t forget who owns them.” Now I owe him something without asking him for anything. Bastard. It was past 2am when I got home. Turned in the keys and entered. I halted mid-step when Trenton came into view. His gaze swept my bloody clothes, then my face. He didn’t speak. His eyes already said it all. He poured another glass for himself, making the empty bottle on the floor eight. I scrunched my nose up and headed for my room. Then I heard his dragging voice. “Why did you come back? You should’ve stayed where you were.” I bit my tongue till it ached. I wanted to ignore him and just walk off but I turned. “What I do is none of your business. Don’t interfere in my mess, I’ve gotten enough today, Tren

Ferdi Watching his back and sinking into silence was the only loud thing in my head. The door clicked shut but I kept staring at it. One second turned into five. My hand was still gripping the edge of the desk. I wasn’t supposed to tighten my jaw when I saw the marks on his body. Bruises shouldn’t bother me. They never had before. So why did those ones stay in my head? The way he’d looked me in the eye and said I was the worst thing he’d laid his eyes on. Made me laugh. What was he expecting me to be, his prince? I opened my drawer and took the pills without water. I needed something to cool off. They got halfway down my throat. Five minutes is the only time the static eased. It wasn’t enough. I held my head as I felt dizzy for a second then got back to work. Pedro had not rested since Fiamma Fredda’s incident. Tracking my every move with monitors. The gang went on break yesterday so there’s nothing he could find even though he arrested some of them. The gang knew better than

Karel I didn’t get to process what had just happened before Ferdi slammed his lips on mine with a roughness I’d never felt before. His breathing was ragged. And his lips tasted like bitter coffee, the one I hated — tasting it on his lips felt… good. My hands came up to his shirt, pushing him off. His grip was tight around my back. “Ferdi,” I hissed out. He pulled away just a little. “You owe me three,” he whispered against my lips. “I’m collecting. Just one.” His hoarse tone was abusive. It made my toes curl in my shoes. I watched his eyes fall shut. He kissed me hungrily, angrily, like he wanted me to feel pain. But my eyes stayed open. I kept staring at him as he devoured my mouth, rejecting the fact that I wanted to pull him closer. Ferdi pushed me against a broken table. His tongue moved everywhere, like if he moved away even an inch I’d disappear. I stayed numb, not kissing back. It didn’t stop him though. He turned my back to him, his hands went to my belt and I caught hi