Bad Decisions

Karel

The whole morning routine was a drag. I fumbled several times with my boots as my hands couldn’t stay still.

Ferdi wasn’t here but I could still feel his strong presence I refused to admit behind me.

I tried focusing my eyes on the training team. It felt impossible when I remembered how wrecked my ass was. Every strain felt like a pull in my veins.

“Urgh, Karel, you’re so tight.” His voice echoed in my ears like a bad dream.

I slammed my fist on the board with a twisted face. The team all turned to look at me with pained faces.

I bit my inner lip. “What?”

Most of them rolled their eyes and Dwight did a sharp click with his tongue. “You’re not supposed to be here, Devan.” He stepped further, hands akimbo. “You’re not on the list. Why bother training?” He grimaced with shoulders out like a stupid person. “You have a new replacement.” He pointed behind him.

The new guy behind him snorted. My jaw tightened.

Dwight thought he was something just because his father was the president and he could bully everyone in the school and still somehow get out clean.

My fist hurt from not punching that stupid grin on his face.

I didn’t know who was more unbearable—Ferdi or Dwight.

Both were unbearable in different ways. Ferdi is a bastard and Dwight is an ass.

“What are you thinking about, huh? Cat got your tongue?” Dwight took a reckless step toward me.

“Coach said no subs,” our midfielder folded his arms.

“The poster is up too. Need to check it out?”

It was true that Ferdi had removed my name from the soccer team. It wasn’t a dream.

It wasn’t my damn imagination.

It hurt a lot more hearing it from someone else.

I didn’t want to fight back. I never did, not when I’d have to face the principal or Dwight’s father.

I stood rooted to my spot as he trudged forward.

My eyes closed dramatically, waiting for a hit, when cold air hit my face.

I waited. Nothing came.

I squinted my eyes open only to see Dael holding Dwight in place. Her macho arms were buffed with strength no woman had ever had.

“Touch him and die.” She glared at Dwight, pushing him off.

He staggered back and the team stared at her in awe. Not like they had never seen her perform.

I moved two steps back when she matched up to me, checking my face like she was looking for scratches and stains.

Sometimes I get terrified of her overprotectiveness. It was cool sometimes and overwhelming most other times.

I couldn’t let her get into my mess. Every part of my fucked-up life ended up tangling with her.

I could let anything pass. But not the fact that I had a one-night stand with Ferdi.

It was worse than telling someone their parents passed away.

“The injuries on your face. They aren’t healed yet.” She touched my face.

I shifted back with a light chuckle. I didn’t want to bring back the memory of letting Trenton hit me for allowance.

“I’m fine,” I said lightly, praying my assurance worked on her.

It never did.

“You always say that. I’m not pressuring you today.” She raised her hands in surrender.

Thank goodness.

The screams of girls and the sudden crowd on the field made me turn away from Dael.

This school never gets loud unless a certain bastard chose to practice with his teammates that day.

My fist clenched as I turned my gaze to the approaching, strolling figure coming down the ground with reckless abandon.

His face screamed indifference and absolute smug self-satisfaction.

Fuck face.

“Whoa, it’s your cap, Karel.” Dael glanced. “The fuck, man? Dude’s face card never declines.”

My eyes stayed glued to his body. He wore those muscle shirts like it was intentional.

Miguel ran all the way to us. “Well, well, captain remembered us today.” Miguel, our year goalie, grinned and I removed his hands from my shoulders. “Stop talking like he’s special.”

“Now I get why people turned gay. Just look at that face.” Miguel grinned again.

Turned gay? He’s gay and fucking gorgeous for a crazy bastard.

“Seems like only Karel doesn’t have an interest in him.” Dael folded her arms.

“Makes two of us,” Miguel leaned in again and I pushed him off.

How ridiculous, I scoffed. I would literally go on my knees and suck him dry if I had my way.

Ferdi’s eyes searched the crowd, a lazy grin plastered on his face, and it made me wanna scratch it off.

It landed on me. Our gazes locked from across the field. My gaze held shame and anger with a raised chin while his eyes held amusement like a banner.

“Why is he so strange today?” Miguel frowned, nudging me by the shoulder.

“You noticed too?” Dael narrowed her gaze like he was one of her lab experiments.

I just stood with folded arms, regretting every decision I had made.

Why did I let him touch me?

Memories kept playing like stereo in my empty brain.

‘Fuck, Karel, loosen up for me.’

‘Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Karel.’

‘You’re so deep.’

I felt the urge to shove tissues in my ears.

I didn’t realize I was staring into space. My brain didn’t register what was going on around me until a body hovered in front of me.

Jesus Christ.

That’s when I noticed the sudden silence of the team.

Everyone wanted to know what the fucking captain was doing in front of me.

“Get off me, creep.” I pushed him away with full force.

He only took a step back. Not because of my strength, actually.

“And if I don’t?” He held the back of his neck indifferently. “Your position is in my hands, Vice.” He drew the last word like scripture.

What was that he just called me?

I bit down to control my throbbing fist. “Is this a game to you?” I raised a brow at him. “You get a good sleep when you do this?”

The more I thought about it, the more it got confusing. He had removed my name from the list. Not that I did anything wrong. Just his choice that nobody seemed to oppose.

“Game? More like a way to hook up.” He shrugged, no evidence of shame in his proud shoulders.

Hook up. That’s what it was to him.

What was I even thinking? That a one-night stand would mean more than a mistake?

My fist that had been holding back all the while couldn’t resist.

My fist swung to his face.

His jaw cracked, but he was still standing. His jet-black hair fell over his face.

His face didn’t turn immediately.

The gasps around were enough to tell what I’d done.

I’d just punched the dude that controlled my roster.

I stared at my hand. How could you?

Ferdi’s face rose to meet mine. His eyes drained of any smugness. His empty grey eyes made my heart sink as we stared each other down.

The contact contest was broken when a student called over the field. “Coach wants to see you, Devan.”

My eyes darted between Ferdi and the guy, then I turned to leave. I couldn’t let myself stay another minute there.

I shoved my hands in my pockets while I walked away.

Then I heard his voice…

“You owe me one now, Vice.”

I froze in my steps. Owe him what? A gift card, an apology? Whatever that was, it was his own business.

I climbed the stairs to Coach Mavis’ office. He sat there like he knew my problems but was afraid to admit it.

I entered without minding manners like knocking on the door. It didn’t exist when I held grudges with the world. “You called me,” I started when I got in front of him.

“Yes. I know you saw the recent development. Ferdi personally insisted. The board approved.” He said it like he had proof.

Who the fuck is Ferdi that he even controls the coach?

“What does he give you? He promises you sex?” I dug my fingers into the desk.

Coach Mavis gave me a sharp look. “Watch your tongue. I’m not your family, Devan.” He closed a file.

It felt like they were closing a chapter in my life. But the problem was I couldn’t beg. Normal people should kneel and beg and ask for what they could do to get their position back instead. I nodded. “Yeah, I’ll figure it out. Since you dumbass authorities listen to that bastard.”

I stormed out of his office, ignoring the arrows I’d set behind me. I’ll find everything out on my own. The school fucking irritates me.

I stepped into the restroom and washed my face a million times without getting a little bit better.

Every splash felt like a strong pull on my sanity.

It hurt more than Trenton’s belt.

The restroom lacked noise. No one was in.

I was happy that no one could see my disheveled state, but I was wrong when an image appeared behind me.

Ferdi.

I turned weakly to him. “Please don’t bother me anymore. I’m done. What else do you want from me now?”

He didn’t say a word. He came closer slowly until I was caged between the wall and him. I twisted my nose not to smell that cedar and cold smoke from him.

“What are you doing?” I whispered. “This position is—is compromising.” I complained when I couldn’t take more.

His eyes cut to mine. He looked mad. His eyes were dark and the hair on his face didn’t help either.

“You’re gonna pay,” he said hoarsely in my ear, pressing his weight on me.

I’m not going through this shit again.

“I don’t owe you a fucking thing, Ferdi. You’re the one owing me and I won’t sit still and watch you take it away.” I shoved hard at his chest.

I could swear I heard a light chuckle from him, but I had no evidence.

The awkwardness was palpable. My body refused to stay still.

Then the buzz of my phone broke through the silence.

My eyes widened.

No. Not now.

I pushed him off, not knowing how I did.

I ran away like I was running for something else, but deep down I knew I was running away from him.

I couldn’t stand anymore.

I’d rather get beaten by Trenton. At least it got my pocket filled. That way I’d find my position back without Ferdi’s fucking game that only brought shame.

I had to choose pain, to choose swollen face and scars.

But I knew I'd come back circling