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Chapter 17
My eyes popped open to darkness. I was in my bed alone, but I could hear breathing. I felt around my bed to confirm that no one was there. I shouldn’t be able to hear breathing. It wasn’t coming from me. I threw the covers off me and jumped out of bed. I crept down the hallway and could see light from the tv flickering in the living room. Strange, I know I didn’t leave it on. I paused and took in a calming breath before continuing. Something was wrong. My mind was screaming at me that this was familiar. To turn around and run. I continued forward. On the couch laid Ryan. I flipped on the light and ran to him. His skin a sickly grey. His body fighting for oxygen. I ran to him and knelt beside him. I rubbed my fist on his chest and called his name. “Ryan, please baby wake up. Talk to me. RYAN!!! I shook him as tears spilled down my face. “Please, please wake up. Please don’t leave me.”
“Ashton! It’s okay, I am here.”
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I stumbled my way into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. My eyes ache at all the crying that happened yesterday. Zain walked into the kitchen. I pulled out to coffee cups and poured us each of the dark liquid gold.“How are you feeling this morning?”“Better. Thank you for staying. Thank you for taking care of me.”“You don’t have to thank me.”“You are not tired of the sobby girl?”“He was my friend too, Ash. While I can’t even imagine the pain you are going through, I am grieving as well.”“I am sorry I have not really acknowledged that. I have just been so overwhelmed by my own grief, there wasn’t really any room for anyone else’s.”“Never apologies to me for that. I am okay and I am here for you. This is about you and getting you through this.”“Sometimes I feel like I am going to drown in it.”
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He settles his arms around my waist and wrap mine around his neck as we begin to sway to the music. We have never danced like this before. It was strange to be wrapped in someone else’s arms. Instead of overthinking it, as I tend to do, I decided to just enjoy the moment.“Can I kiss you?”My stomach did a flip at his question. It’s not like he hasn’t before, but him asking me made things different. I suddenly feel like a nervous schoolgirl.“Yes.” I whisper into his chest.His hand reaches up and he tilts my chin up with two fingers. Our eyes meet for a brief moment before he bends down and places his lips on mine. It is a gentle meeting of the lips that lasts only a few seconds.“Your lips are so soft.” He whispers with his face inches from mine.“You already said that.” Remembering those exact words the first time he kissed me.“Well, they are.”
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