I had been suffering from insomnia for several months.
My face shrunk, and I experienced a sudden loss of appetite, dizziness, and palpitations. My outward appearance was becoming increasingly withered.
I didn't want Alvin to see these two sets of unappealing ribs, so I'd beg him to turn off the light in recent days.
Regardless, he asked me last night, as he held my waist, "Why are you so thin?"
'Not bad, he could still tell I was skinny.'
I reassured myself that he was at least interested in me.
But that was the end of it. He then buried his head inside me and pounded it in.
The physical strength of a top alpha was truly terrifying. Because I wasn't a natural-born omega, it would be excruciating every time we did it.
He dozed off after it was over. I was using the wall to guide myself to the bathroom to wash myself when I slipped at the doorway and passed out.
I'd passed out so many times for no apparent reason that I'd figured out the pattern and knew I'd wake up in about two or three hours.
Before I fainted, I thought it was time to see a doctor.
But I despise hospitals.
The surgery half a year ago caused me so much pain that for the first few days after the artificial gland was implanted, every cell in my body screamed in rejection, threatening to tear my body apart.
It was so excruciatingly painful that I went restless, crying and pleading with the doctor to give me morphine. But the doctor simply smiled sympathetically at me, shook his head, and said, "You must endure."
I must persevere.
For Alvin's sake, I implanted a totally fake omega gland into my body.
It was my own free will, so I had to put up with it.
Even though they are unable to change their gender, technology and science have advanced to the point where people can surgically remove or implant glands for reasons unknown.
But, in the end, the hoax was a hoax.
Alvin could enjoy the satisfaction of dominance and possession by tearing into my glands, but he couldn't really mark me.
He, too, did not want to mark.
Dawn had arrived. The first rays of light of spring had always been a welcome sight.
Except for me, everything under the sun was alive.
Alvin had already left when I awoke. He was extremely disciplined and would arrive at the office on time at nine a.m. the next morning, regardless of how intense he had been the night before.
The house was desolate and cold without him.
I resembled a prostitute who would appear and disappear when summoned. I needed to get dressed and out the door before dawn.
For 3 years, I was in love with him.
For years, he fucked me.
I had access to his house because I had the key.
I could also come and go from his company as I pleased.
Nonetheless, I felt like a prostitute.
Simply because he did not love me.
He called me Nora the first time we slept together.
The affectionate murmur made no sense...
Jillian was my name, and Nora was the person he adored.
I was merely a beta, and Nora was the ideal Omega.
It was a difference that I couldn't overcome...
with a fake gland.
It's a shame that I have excellent hearing due to my musical background, I could only endure the pain and pretend I didn't hear it.
More than one person said I reminded them of Nora.
Maybe I should be thankful that if it weren't for the resemblance, I'd never be able to climb on Alvin's bed in my life.
Each of Alvin's partners would resemble Nora in some way.
I was the most similar to him, so I stayed with him the longest, so long that I almost forgot I was only a substitute.
On the first day of high school, I saw Alvin and Nora for the first time. Their photos were pasted next to each other in the top column of honorary alumni.
Alvin was four years my senior. At the time, he had inherited the vast fortune of Ainsley's financial group and was the youngest person at the helm of the business empire that controlled the entire country's financial lifeline.
Alvin's brows were arched in the photograph. He was undeniably attractive.
And Nora, who was standing next to him, embodied his name. His eyes were soft, and his lips were the colour of early-morning red roses.
A month later, I fell in love with Alvin. He returned to school to attend a freshman representative ceremony, and I went on stage to present flowers to him.
In person, Alvin was far more attractive than he appeared in the photograph. I fell in deep with just a glance, and I haven't come out yet.
Face-cons have always had to pay the price for their inability to see.
I didn't want to go to the hospital anymore after thinking about it. I learned about Nora's return to Eden after completing his doctorate half a year ago. I left in panic to perform an artificial gland transplant.
Nora should be back by next month if we count the days. Alvin probably wouldn't need me at that point. So what difference does it make whether I'm healthy or not?
I returned to school after sending a message to Senior Alvin.
He only responded "ok" after more than 30 minutes of waiting.
There was nothing to do at school as we approached graduation. The majority of the senior students had already left the dorm. I didn't have much in school, so it didn't matter if I moved or not.
When I turned in my graduation work last month, my professor asked, "Do you really want to turn down the Academy of Music scholarship?"
I didn't dare to look her in the eyes and replied vaguely with my head down, "I don't really want to go abroad..."
The teacher sighed. "That's unfortunate."
All I could do was apologise. "I'm sorry..."
I've apologised to a lot of people.
Guilt and self-reproach weighed on me all the time.
'I'm exhausted.'
I had delusions in the first year that I shouldn't have had. When I was in a bad mood or had a problem, I felt compelled to tell Alvin.
Not to ask him for help, but to take advantage of the opportunity to act spoiled in the hopes of eliciting sympathy and even heartache from him.
Until he teased me and said, "Jill, I believe you're mistaken?"
I froze and stared at him in disbelief.
"I'm not your boyfriend, and I'm not obligated to notice or care with your petty shit," Alvin said with a light laugh. "I'm very busy."
Yes, being pampered was a luxury reserved for those who were truly loved.
Who was I to do such a thing?
Alvin poured cold water on me. I learned to hide all of my negative emotions and instead offer him a tender smile from then on.
I was probably a well-behaved and obedient bed partner in his heart. Someone who would let him plunder without ever objecting.
Alvin once complimented me on being a beta, saying that my waist was even softer than an omega's.
Only at this time would he be gentle with me.
"Do you like me?" I asked, boldly burying myself in his arms and rubbing my body against his.
He didn't respond. He then leaned over to kiss my hair before pulling the quilt over his head and saying, "Go to sleep."
As a result, I never asked again.
People come and go from his bed. It's exhausting to like every single one of them.
'It makes no difference. You are under no obligation to give me a chance. In any case, I still have a lifetime to squander.'
I wasn't expecting to see my roommate when I returned to the dorm.My roommate, Adam, and I shared a double room. He was, like me, one of the best art students in this school. He studied painting, whereas I studied the lyre.Adam was a tangerine-flavored alpha with tangerine-flavored pheromone. His entire being was as bright and lively as his pheromone.Because I am a beta, AO pheromones have no effect on me. As a result, Adam had never used a pheromone-blocking agent in our dorm.I detected a faint tangerine aroma as soon as I opened the door."Ah, Jillian, you've returned." Adam flashed a bright smile."Didn't you go home?" I asked, nodding."I'm not entirely satisfied with my graduation project and would like to revise it further. The studio environment at school is far more capable of keeping me interested."Adam stated.I noticed a half-sketched brushstrokes on the easel in front of him as I spoke. Adam specialised in oil painting, but in his spare time he enjoyed creating small
Alvin's office was on the 15th floor. As the elevator ascended one floor at a time, my anxiety grew.I'm not sure when it began, but my insatiable love for Alvin became entwined with an unexplainable fear and rejection of the uncertain.I was terrified of him, but I needed to be near him.He'd always use his pheromones to subdue me or make me heat up, especially after my gland transplant. Being an omega wasn't easy for me at the time.Alvin's pheromone scent was amber, which smelled sweet but didn't make people feel warm and comfortable.The elevator chimed to indicate that I had arrived at my destination.The 15th floor was empty, quiet, and cold, with only a conference room and a few executive offices. I walked down the long corridor until I reached the end and opened the glass door.Is Alvin not here?I went inside because the reception hall and the outside were both empty, and there was a faint, strange odour in the air. Inside the closed bedroom door, I could hear oppressed heavy
In the end, Alvin did not let me go.My tears had been shielded by lust. I could finally cry freely, while he just thought I was too happy.He always knew how to get me to give up. I didn't want to be so obedient today, so I frantically tore the sheets beneath me and told him not to do it here.It didn't matter where it was as long as it wasn't here.I would have puked if I had smelled the residual pheromones and imagined their intertwined flesh.I expected Alvin to respond to my ferocious resistance with even harsher treatment, but he didn't do anything out of the ordinary. Instead, he carried me outside to the sofa.I got a touch of light and a little hit of tenderness, probably because the little omega had served him happily."Aside from crying, what else can you do?"Nothing.I had no idea how to be coquettish or softly address him as a lover. I have no idea how to please my alpha and must rely on instinct, unlike the other omegas.Even my pheromone was fake.The doctor stated tha
When I was about to leave, the doctor reminded me to go to the psychology department. Dr Drew had just returned to the city and was available for the next two days, so I might not be able to make an appointment if I arrived late.I had nothing better to do, so I went outside and made a left, climbing to the fifth floor and the department.Even though I didn't believe I had any mental issues, having someone to talk to wouldn't hurt.Alvin turned a blind eye to me.And Adam was engrossed in his studies, so I couldn't bear disturbing him.I noticed a tall and lean figure with his back to me as soon as I walked through the door. His short black hair was neatly combed, and beneath the spotless white doctor coat, his two long slender legs, which were hidden in the trousers, were exposed. His leather shoes gleamed as if they had just been snatched from a shop window.‘Dr Drew…''Seems quite young?'"Excuse me, is Dr Drew available?" As I knocked on the door frame, I asked tentatively.He
‘I don’t remember mentioning my pregnancy.'Doctor Kevin let out a mysterious smile. “I m a doctor.”He no longer acted as steady and self-restrained after saying this. He suddenly seemed a lot closer to me.I blurted out while my brain was on fire, " Can I still contact you in the future..."I felt conceited after asking. Doctor Kevin unexpectedly agreed, "Of course."He handed me a business card with a low-key metallic texture that only had his name and contact information on itKevin Li.I silently read his name, then properly tucked his business card away and said goodbye to Dr Kevin.When I walked out of the hospital, I realized it was already lunchtime.Should I invite Dr Kevin to join me for lunch...? I bothered him all morning and then left...Sure, next time...Alvin said I wasn't cut out for dealing with complicated interpersonal relationships, and that it's better to be a pet who waits for its owner to come home from work.He once tried to prevent me from attending college,
Alvin had been quite busy and didn't require much of my presence because of his new little lover. A few days later, I ran into the omega again at Alvin's house, and this time he came by himself. It was the first time one of his lovers had visited him at home, and I couldn't help but feel threatened. Alvin was in his study conducting official business and asked the Omega to wait downstairs. I didn't want to meet the omega, but I got a last-minute call from college, so I had no choice but to change my clothes and go down the hallway. I pretended not to notice him, but he stopped me as I passed by the lounge room. “Mister Jillian.” It's odd that he remembers my name. I didn't recall telling him my name. Has Alvin mentioned me? About how stupid I am? Did he tell everyone he sleeps with about how he treats me? I pushed those negative thoughts away as quickly as they came. "Is there a problem?" I inquired as calmly as possible. “No.” He gave a sweet smile. " I'm just wondering w
“One theory was that Nora didn’t want to get married, and the other was that Alvin didn’t want to marry him and forced him to leave. In short, they didn’t get along. I only recently learned that there was such a story back then.” Adam’s expression was complex, and he seemed to be scornful of these wealthy feuds.“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t bother to ask about it.”“But Alvin said he wouldn’t get married…” I didn’t know what to think for a moment.“Well, it may not be his choice. Alvin is the head of the family on the surface. But the actual fact is that there is an old man above him. The old man is already old, and he has to wait for Alvin to get married before he can delegate power.” Adam hummed. “Now it depends on whether Alvin wanted freedom or power.”My heart quivered as I listened to Adam's words as if I were listening to a distant and false story."If the Ren you're referring to is only 18 years old, he may be unable to control Alvin...He is capable of having both powe
“...”I'm getting irritated. He appears to be laughing at me. And treating me like a child."I've lived abroad for many years and have only returned a few times. I don't recall ever meeting you." He continued.Okay, I'm pretty sure I'm just tired and seeing things.Is this a sign that I'm getting close to the end? People who are about to die have reported seeing strange things.When Dr Kevin entered the room, Adam returned and greeted him. "Thank you, Brother Kevin."After that, he noticed me. "How are you, feeling better?""Sick," I replied truthfully."With a fever of 40 °, how can you not be sick?" Adam retorted angrily.I knew I was in the wrong, and besides, I didn't dare to speak up."Since you're back, I'll leave first," Dr Kevin explained."All right." Adam sent Dr Kevin to the door and said, "Thank you," only then did I realize Adam had asked Dr Kevin to look after me.I apologize for my arrogance and rudeness.Adam returned and saw my stunned expression. "Don't wait," He sai