CHAPTER 5 - CRASH CART

ASHER'S POV

I haven't been myself since I visited Nicole at the prison on Saturday, I mean I enjoyed seeing her out my office setting and I enjoyed the freedom of speech but I feel so guilty. My wife just died and I went ahead to visit another lady and I even made her my girlfriend, it was like I was possessed or something, I definitely wasn't thinking.

It's not like I regret asking her to be my girlfriend but I feel bad for doing so, I mean I know my wife is dead and she's not coming back but it feels like I am cheating on her and I feel so terrible about it... Even as I am getting dressed to go to work, I am fucking excited because I will see Nicole soon but it feels wrong, I shouldn't be this excited when I obviously just lost my wife. "I'm a horrible person."

I paced around my room after dressing up. "I need to talk to Aaron." I really need his advice but that will have to be after work... Right now, I need to get to the prison as soon as possible, my session with Nicole is in two hours.

I picked up my laptop bag, phone and car keys but as I was about to leave the room, I took a glance at my late wife's picture by my bedside. "I'm sorry Sarah." I picked up the picture and I just wish she can say something, anything. "I love you so much and I miss you, it's hurts how much I miss you." It hurts so much but somehow, Nicole makes me feel less heartbroken, it's silly but it's the truth.

I set the picture down and I dashed out of the house and I drove as fast as possible to the prison... I got to my office in record time, although I hate the check in process but seeing Nicole again will be worth it.

I still remember the last thing she said to me when I came visiting on Saturday. "I have a baby." It's not like it changes anything but it came as a surprise to me.

She has never spoken about a child and it's not written in her file as well but I guess I will find out when she shows up. "She's running late." I said to myself after checking my wrist watch.

An hour has never been enough for our therapy session, especially after what happened at her last appointment. "Damn." I cursed as I pictured her full boobs in that nude bra again. "One hour is definitely not enough." And now she's even late by fifteen minutes which is very unusual. "She has never been late before." I started pacing around my office.

Something doesn't feel right. "Maybe I have scared her away." Maybe I shouldn't have visited her on Saturday, that wasn't part of my job and I am so stupid for asking her to be my girl. "I'm so stupid."

I sat on my chair when I got tired of pacing around, I mean I have been looking forward to Thursday when I will have the opportunity to speak to Nicole again after our conversation on Saturday. Now she's thirty minutes late, is she even planning to show up today?

I stared at my wrist watch as every minute passed when we had ten minutes left, it was clear to me that she's not showing up today. "Shit, I have to find her." I grabbed the office landline phone and I dialed the warden's office, surely he will have something to say.

"Officer Decker speaking, how may I help you?" This is the first time I am calling the warden to ask about an inmate but Nicole left me no choice.

"Good day officer, this is Dr Beckham and I want to find out the whereabout of an inmate."

"Okay, which of the inmates?"

"Inmate Kingston 42." It's weird calling her that but I can't call her by her first name right now, I doubt he will know who I am referring to if I do. "She missed her therapy session today and I will like to know why." I added.

"Hold on let me confirm." There was a brief silence and I am so nervous about whatever he is going to say. I mean she has never missed an appointment before, so this is fucking weird. "Okay, so according to my records. There was an incident at the dining room on Saturday and she ended up in the infirmary." He explained and that is literally the last thing I expected to hear.

"What the hell happened to her and why wasn't I informed, I am her doctor for Christ sakes." I said but what I really wanted to say is that I am her fucking boyfriend.

"Well Dr Beckham, we tried to reach out to her family but she doesn't have any contact listed in her records and you are not listed as well but feel free to check on her, although she's very critical." This is crazy, I saw her on Saturday for God's sake, how can she be in the infirmary.

"Okay thanks for the information." I hung up before he could say anything else. "I need to see her right away." I need to make sure she's fine.

I grabbed my phone and made my way to the door but as soon as I opened it, I saw my next appointment. "Dr, your patient is here." The officer said as she lead inmate Franklin 111 to my office.

"I'm very sorry officer but I can't attend to Franklin 111 at the moment, there is an emergency I have to attend to." Franklin hasn't said a word to me since she started therapy, so I won't miss an opportunity to see Nicole because of her. "Please take her back to the cell."

"Of course." The officer left with her and I headed in another direction.

She wasn't hard to find at all, the infirmary isn't that big and she's the only patient here at the moment... The moment I set my eyes on her, my heart broke into a million pieces.

"What did they do to you?" I asked even though she can't hear me... She looks so pale and her lips looks so dry.

She still looks so pretty as always but I have never seen her look this still, she's always having a flirtatious smile on her face and she's always sitting sexily.

"Dr Beckham, good afternoon. I was told she's your patient." Dr Sam I think, pointed out as soon as he entered the room.

"Yes, that's correct. What brought her here?" I asked curiously.

"Well she was stabbed during a fight in the dining room after visiting hours but unfortunately for her, she lost a lot of blood and we almost lost her but so far, we have done everything we can, we are just waiting for her body to react positively." The Dr explained.

"Okay, so there is nothing else you can do."

"I'm afraid not Dr Beckham." He confirmed before he left the room.

This is why I wanted her to leave, she's not safe here and it makes no sense that she prefers to be here instead.

"You need to make it Nicole, I just lost my wife and I can't... I can't bear to lose you too, please get the fuck up." I held her hands as I spoke softly to her.

The more I stared at her, the more I realized just how much I have fallen for her and it will break me to lose her. I can't, I can't lose her too... "Why am I so messed up?" Maybe it's my fault she's in this condition. "Why do I always lose the people I love?"

Nicole is very important to me and it hurts to see her laying here, looking so pale... "Please get the fuck up." I raised my voice slightly out of frustration.

I looked around and thankfully, no one saw me... Her life is really sad, her parents were killed and she was raped all in one night, she has a brother and also a child, at least that's what she said the last time I saw her.

Wait a minute, that's it. "If you won't stay alive for me, can you at least stay alive for your brother and child?" I held her hands again. "Your baby will be miserable without you, think about your brother... You have to fight, fight for your god-damn life Nicole." I whisper yelled at her.

But to my surprise, her fingers moved but it didn't stop there, her entire body started jerking. Her hold on my hand tightened as her body vibrates and the EKG started making a weird noises. "Doctor, doctor... Doctor." I called for help as I started panicking.

"Stay outside Dr Beckham, she's having a seizure." Dr Sam rushed to her immediately he stepped in.

"Bring in the crash cart." He screamed and two nurses rushed in with a cart and the room suddenly got crowded and busy.

The Doctor and nurses hovered over her and got to work but the sight brings back bad memories and I had to step outside. "Shit, not again. I'm so fucked."