Chapter 2

On top of it I now had to not think about something that kept playing in my mind along with having to plied the fifth if anyone decided to ask me what the fuck happened of the bus how am I meant to answer that coz I don’t fucking know myself.

Let alone act like nothing happened during the trip, then trying to explain it to anyone let alone myself. Something I doubt any normal person would be able to believe. Even though I had began to feel like like that and I don’t even know why I was feeling what I was.

All I could do now was hope that it didn’t mean anything and it was just that some kind of weird nightmare because it just had to be and I was going to keep telling myself that.

Next thing I knew the bus had pulled up at the rest stop for lunch. I thought to myself that’s probably just one of the usual trip rest stops for some food toilet breaks and the usual stupid snapshots taken by the teachers to look like we’re all having fun. I thought it would be nice for a few minutes of not being stuck on that damn bus sounded like heaven right now, I could splash some water on my face from one of the bathrooms which might help me to snap out of this head space I’ve now found myself in.

Once off the bus, I did my best to keep to myself, including away from my closet friends. I was in no mood to play twenty questions. A game I hated with a passion, and my friends knew that and all too well, not that it ever stopped them from trying to play it. I pulled out one of my romance novels from my bag and found a nice shady spot under a tree. There was an odd feeling that seemed to wash over me, like I had been here before. When I knew all well, I had never been in this spot before. I did my best to shrug it off and put it down to the strange dream that was making me overthink everything. Anyway, I had to get back on the bus in an hour. So, I decided to go back to what I was doing. I opened my book to where I had left off last time, got out my lunch, and ate while reading at the same time. Meanwhile, hoping to just be left alone for at least the time being. Once I was finished my lunch, I put my book back in my bag, threw away my rubbish in the bin, and headed towards the bathrooms.

Thomas was waiting for me. Great, if it weren’t for Father’s stupid arrangement, he probably would have been somewhere else today and not on my week-long day class trip.

“I’m guessing our fathers’ are so worried about their business agreement or our marriage contract they sent you to and Louis to keep an eye on me if you hadn’t noticed guys generally run in the other direction knowing that my father would probably sue the shit out of their parents for coming within 5ft to try and ask me out get lost Thomas,” I said not in the mood for his usual I’m being forced to come near you crap due to our fathers’ agreement that we would marry so that their law firm stayed under its true leadership rather than split in two.

“That’s not why I’m here,” Thomas said.

“Yeah sure, and you haven’t started your little black book yet either for all your mistresses, my ass Thomas,” I snapped, “You don’t want me that’s fine we’ll fulfill our fathers’ agreement and stay out of each other life beyond that ok, guess just stop acting like a weird stalker.”

A flicker of pain crossed Thomas' face before he had masked it. He remembered saying something about getting a black book to fill with names and numbers of mistresses. I'm a year younger than him, so I’m only in Year 9 at school, although he's in Year 11.

Flashback three years earlier:

“Hey, Thomas, are you really going to marry that ugly bitch?” Axel asked.

“I have too, or my Father will probably kill me,” Thomas said flatly, “but I’ve already got a plan. Rich guys usually have little black books with women on the side, so I’ll never be home to see the ugly bitch’s face anyway, let alone have to touch her yuck.”

What he didn’t know was that I was outside that door that day of his father’s office and heard enough, and walked away, so I didn’t hear anymore of how little he had thought of me.

Back in the present, Thomas had become quite pale at my words; he, too, must have remembered that conversation.

I could see him swallow hard, his Adam's apple bobbing as he struggled to find words. She watched him fidget with the strap of his backpack, his usual confident demeanour cracking like old paint.

"Look, I..." he started, then stopped, running a hand through his dark hair. "That was a long time ago. I was stupid, okay? I was thirteen and trying to impress my idiot friends."

I felt a bitter laugh bubble up in her throat. "Oh, so you were just pretending to think I was hideous? That makes it so much better, Thomas."

The words tasted like acid on my tongue. I could feel the familiar sting behind her eyes that meant tears were coming, but I'd be damned if she'd cry in front of him. Not again. Not after that humiliating day three years ago when I'd run home and locked myself in my room for hours.

"No, that's not..." He stepped closer, and I instinctively took a step back. The movement made something flicker across his face - hurt, maybe? But that was impossible. Thomas didn't care enough about me to be hurt by my rejection.