Chapter Six

Sarah grabbed Karli in a one-armed hug the minute she got through Karli’s front door.

“I brought ice cream,” Sarah announced, holding up the bag and shaking it. “Come on, girly. Let’s talk it out.”

“Sea salt caramel?” came the shaky but hopeful whisper from Karli.

“You know it.”

They moved to the kitchen, and Sarah got out bowls and spoons.

“Okay, Karli. Talk to me,” she prodded as she began to scoop ice cream. “What’s up?”

“Um… I kissed somebody,” Karli said, her voice riddled with guilt.

“What?”

“Jordan and I went to dinner, and I broke down, and he called me honey. And I liked hearing him call me that, and I kissed him goodnight on the cheek, and I’m a horrible person,” Karli wailed.

“Not horrible, Karli. Human,” Sarah said softly.

“But I’m being disloyal to Evan,” Karli protested.

“I can see where you might feel that way,” Sarah observed.

Karli nodded.

“There’s more, Sarah.”

Sarah handed her one of the bowls.

“What’s that?”

“I’m five weeks pregnant. I found out this afternoon.”

“Oh,” Sarah’s surprise mixed with sympathy. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” Karli agreed. “Blindsided me, Sarah. Never even occurred to me.”

“Well,” her best friend said thoughtfully as she joined her at the kitchen table, “that’s understandable. How do you feel about it?”

“Overwhelmed. Exhilarated. Scared to death,” Karli confessed. “Everything at once. I always wanted kids with Evan… this is like some really cruel joke now that he’s gone.”

“What are you going to do?” Sarah asked, and Karli knew what she meant.

“Not even a question, I’m keeping it,” Karli said firmly, one hand moving to her stomach. “I’m just not sure how I’m going to do this by myself. Whenever I pictured having kids in my head, it was with Evan here,” she finished on a sob.

Sarah took Karli’s hand.

“You won’t be by yourself, Karli. I have your back, and your parents will be there too. And you’re going to be an awesome mom, I just know it.”

“What do I do about Jordan, Sarah? I feel so guilty,” Karli asked.

“Allow yourself some grace, Karli,” Sarah told her. “There’s no one right way – or timeline, for that matter - to grieve. Maybe with a bit more time, you’ll find it’s easier to forgive yourself for any misstep you feel you made.”

“Do you think it was a misstep?”

“You gave someone who was comforting you a peck on the cheek,” Sarah answered. “I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

“What about the other part?”

Sarah sighed.

“Only you can decide to beat yourself up about that or not, Karli.”

“But what’s your opinion?”

Sarah contemplated.

“I personally would have viewed him calling me that as comforting, and I would have appreciated it. Jordan was kind to you. It’s okay to appreciate that. It does not mean that you love or miss Evan any less, Karli. One doesn’t cancel out the other.”

Karli fell silent, weighing Sarah’s words as she took another bite of ice cream.

***

Two weeks later, Karli was back at Dr. Hollard’s office, lying down as the sonogram tech spread warm, clear jelly across her abdomen.

“Here we go. Just relax, Karli,” the woman said.

Karli nodded, turning her head so she could see the monitor.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the first images appear onscreen.

My child, she thought fiercely, and fell completely in love.

I am ready for this, Karli decided.

“Nice strong heartbeat,” the tech noted, and the rapid whoomp-whoomp-whoomp filled the air around them.

Karli beamed, wiping away happy tears.

“How far along?” she asked.

“Hollard will confirm,” the tech said, pausing her motions with the wand to capture measurements and screen shots, “but I’d say eight weeks.”

When she got home, Karli pulled out her laptop and began to build twelve blog posts to kick off her new series, saving them as drafts. She also worked out the frequency of the mom-to-be set – posting every two weeks felt right.

***

Jordan had purposely kept his distance since the night they’d had dinner.

While he had no problem with what had happened between them, he figured Karli had felt guilty about it, and he didn’t want to add to her stress.

But when she called and told him she was ready to pack away Evan’s things, he agreed to be at her house at eleven the following morning.

He stepped out of his truck and walked slowly to her door, knocking gingerly and steeling his nerves.

Help her with this, make sure she’s okay, then leave, he reminded himself.

And for God’s sake don’t call her ‘honey’.

He squared his shoulders when she opened the door, willing himself not to react when he noticed she was wearing the exact same t-shirt as the very first time he had seen her.

“Hi,” he managed to say, his voice sounding rusty to his ears.

“Hi,” Karli said softly. “Come on in.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Jordan asked as he followed her into the living room.

“Um, I went and got boxes yesterday afternoon,” Karli answered, working her hair up into a ponytail as she walked in front of him down the hall. “And I guess we’ll start in the closet?”

“Whatever you want to do,” he said. Honey, his brain added, causing a small riot.

He worked his impish grin back into a neutral expression before she turned to face him again.

***

In an hour’s time, they had emptied Evan’s walk-in closet, with Jordan carrying boxes to the living room when they were full.

“Now what?” he asked her.

“I think I want to sit for just a minute, then tackle the dresser and bathroom, then make a trip to donate the clothes. After that, the office. And I’ll be honest – I have no freaking clue where to start in the garage.”

“We’ll figure it out. I’m going to load the boxes we’ve got done so far,” he told her, and picked up the first one.

“You want something to drink?”

“Got any sweet tea?” Jordan answered.

“Coming right up,” he heard her call out as she went into the kitchen.

After taking a small break, they turned their attention to Evan’s dresser and his side of the bathroom.

“Okay,” Karli said, hands on hips. “To the donations place, then food, maybe?”

Jordan nodded.

They rode along in an easy silence, and if Karli was remembering the last time they’d gone out for a meal together, she didn’t let it show.

Jordan, however, was having difficulty remembering much else.

They dropped off the boxes of clothes, and Karli’s face lit up when Jordan suggested tacos for lunch.

He did a double take when she ordered five of them.

“What?” she said. “I’m hungry.”

Jordan held up his hands.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing.”

Looking at the cashier, he said, “Double that order, please, and we’re going to eat here.”

When his name was called, he strolled back to the counter and grabbed the tray, setting it between them on the table. And was stunned when the tiny little woman across from him ate all five of the tacos she had ordered without blinking an eye.

“Where are you even putting those?”

“Huh?”

“You’re so tiny… how do you have room for those?”

She snorted with laughter.

“I told you. I’m hungry.”

He raised his eyebrows in appreciation.

Lunch over, they headed back to the house to start going through everything in Evan’s home office. The mailman had just pulled away from her mailbox, and Karli waved to him as she jumped down out of the truck and retrieved the mail.

They walked back inside, her detouring to the kitchen to open the mail, Jordan heading toward the office.

“What the hell?” he heard her exclaim and rushed to her side.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, watching her turn red with anger.

“This,” she said, and thrust the letter toward him.

“According to my mortgage company, we’re two months behind on payments.”