Chapter Thirteen

She gasped.

“But we only hung out a few…”.

“It’s been way, way longer than that,” he interrupted, taking another step closer.

“I fell in love with you the moment I saw you at that frat party seven years ago. But my feelings did not need to be the reason I told you. Was Evan’s cheating wrong? Absolutely. Did you deserve to know? Absolutely. But I questioned my motives for wanting to reveal Evan’s secret. Not to mention, I didn’t want to tell you something I knew would hurt you. Does that make sense at all?”

“I…I can’t be around you right now,” she whispered, and slowly turned and walked to her car.

“Punch me,” he offered, striding after her. “Scream at me. Throw things. Whatever you need to do. But please, Karli, please. Don’t try to drive while you are this upset. Please.”

She whirled around again, and her face crumpled as she began to sob.

“How could you do that? How could you just… keep quiet like that?”

He put his arms around her, and she struggled at first.

“No! Get away from me!” she yelled.

“Karli, I’m so sorry,” he whispered against her hair, pulling her to his chest. “I’m so sorry, honey.”

Suddenly she clutched at him, leaning on him as the fresh grief of Evan’s ultimate betrayal overwhelmed her.

“Oh, Jordan,” she managed. “Why didn’t he love me anymore? Why wasn’t I enough?”

“It was his failing, not yours,” Jordan whispered. “You did nothing wrong, Karli. You hear me? This is on him, not you, honey. Not you.”

“I’m sorry I took it out on you,” Karli wailed. “I’m just…so…”.

“I know,” he told her. “It’s okay. I’ve got you, Karli. Let it out.”

***

Later, they sat on the couch in his apartment. He had left work early and brought her home with him, since she’d mentioned Sarah wasn’t around and he didn’t want her to be alone.

Karli gripped her mug with both hands, sipping the tea Jordan had made for her.

“Is it all right? Not too hot?”

“It’s perfect, thanks.”

She gazed at him over the mug’s rim.

“I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me.”

He nodded solemnly, moving to sit on the coffee table directly in front of her.

“This… Melissa person. To your knowledge, was that the first time he cheated on me?”

“I don’t think so. I think there were others before that, Karli, but I can’t prove it,” he told her, wincing when she flinched as if she’d been struck.

“I’m sorry, honey. But you asked me to be honest.”

“I did,” she agreed. “I just… was hoping you’d say, ‘no way’, or something.”

“I wish I could, truly,” he assured her. “I hate seeing you hurt.”

“It’s not your fault. Any of it. He knew what he was doing was wrong, he just didn’t care. And I know you tried to talk some sense into him.”

“For what it’s worth, if I could go back in time and do all this again, I’d tell you the minute I found out. You deserved to be fully informed about things impacting your life. I felt that way then, too. I just… like I said, I couldn’t figure out if my feelings were clouding the path, or not.”

“You mean the fact that you’re in love with me,” she said softly, her blue eyes searching his.

“You caught that part, huh? Yeah… about that,” he said with a lopsided grin as he raked a hand through his hair.

“Well. Tonight’s conversation is definitely not the way I ever, ever imagined telling you, but, yes, I am,” he answered, turning red despite his best efforts.

“Is that why you acted like you hated me all that time?”

“Like I said before, I’ve never hated you. But I needed to avoid being around you so I wouldn’t cross that line. You were off limits, married to my best friend. If I let myself be around you, I would have slipped up and told you how I felt. It was safer for me - for all of us really - for me to just stay away.”

Karli gazed at him for a long moment.

“What happens between us now?”

He exhaled heavily.

“I honestly have no idea. It really is not up to me, Karli. I just hope I didn’t make it so awkward between us that you stop talking to me again.”

She set her mug on the end table and took his hands in hers.

“Let me set the record straight right now. I was only stopping myself from exploring this thing between us out of loyalty to Evan. That ship has sailed now,” she told him firmly. “I obviously didn’t have his. He doesn’t deserve mine.”

“And? What are you saying?”

“That I want to see where this goes, Jordan. But I also do not want to hurt you, in any way.”

“How would you hurt me?”

“What if… what if I can’t say it back?”

“Karli. I did not tell you how I feel to try to force a response from you. I told you because I wanted to tell you. I didn’t want it to be a secret anymore.”

“Oh,” she said suddenly. “There it is again.”

“What?”

“I started feeling the baby move a couple of weeks ago. I really wanted to call you and tell you about it, but after that Friday night…” she shrugged. “I hadn’t heard from you, so, I didn’t think I should call.”

“You wanted to call and tell me?”

“You were the first person that came to mind, actually,” she admitted. “Same thing when your aunt found me a renter back in April. I started to dial your number.”

“I miss seeing you in the park,” he confessed.

“You do?”

“Very much.”

“Oh, wow, there it is again,” she noted. “That one was a lot stronger. Here. See if you can feel this.”

She lifted her shirt, then grabbed his hands again and put them on her bare belly.

“Karli… wait…are you sure…”.

“Shush,” she admonished. “I want to share this with you.”

They waited, and Jordan watched her eyes grow big.

“Really moving around now,” she whispered. “Can you feel it?”

“Very soft, like a ripple, but I can feel it,” he whispered back, and grinned. “That is just amazing.”

“I know, right?” Karli’s nose crinkled as she smiled.

He leaned forward and lightly touched his lips to hers, soft at first, then more insistent as she sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“So,” she murmured, “I guess this means we’re talking again, huh.”

He chuckled.

“And since we are,” Karli continued, “I have a favor to ask.”

“Name it,” Jordan answered.

“Would you be willing to go with me to childbirth classes? Be my birth coach when the time comes?”

He took her hands and kissed each one.

“I’d love to,” he told her, his eyes shining.

“Good! I was hoping you would say that. Because I already signed up for them, but I really did not want to do it alone,” Karli said. “The first one’s in three weeks.”