Chapter six

From my stomach blubbering to the afternoon sun unseen clearly through my bedroom window outside. Which I hadn’t noticed has lost its intensity.

The day is ending with me at my happiest point.

I have been so absorbed with the plan that I forgot to make lunch or order some.

I got all ten matches, two of which already eliminated themselves and eight who stood up to the next round.

The printer notification sound is on…

This can't be. I jump off the bed to the printer and pick the paper up from the printer. It's Luciano’s report from Cannibals.

I can’t believe this.

This could not be a coincidence, could it?

Today is Christmas for me midst of summer, it has come to me early. A notification from Luciano is open in my tab and I run to see what he posted in our chat box.

I can't believe my eyes at the report. I just saw the report I had just printed a few minutes ago.

It scares me and excites me that there is someone out there as stupid as I am who will go to this extent just for raw sex.

Oh, no… my heart almost rips out when the printer beeps again. I pick up the report and shout out. Yassa…. Yeah.... yeah…

The second report is from the man I wanted so much. Don Mauro finally comes through too.

That is extra for me on what I am unboxing for me this Christmas that has come in early today.

Smiling from ear to ear.

Happily jumping off the bed, shaking and whining, dancing with my whole body, watching myself in the mirror as I throw in a wink at myself.

I am jumping higher with tears of happiness threatening my eyes.

It is all I need.

We made it through the first round; two clean people, and one as a backup person if it didn't go well with the one I chose.

Ooh, my God! My thoughts crumble. These changes everything. Ooh, God. My plan has changed too.

I no longer have time to waste, especially now that the timeframe for the whole plan is going to be squeezed out into a single day instead of a month.

My fertility window will be open tomorrow afternoon.

I need to move.

First, I need to secure a flight now.

Gaining extra charges to change my flight abruptly to this evening is going to cost me. But I care less.

Holding my chest as I watch at the extra zero on what I have to pay. I speak to myself in my mind. My budget is not something I will worry about for now.

Then booking everything I need for my flight.

First, I must change the person I see when I look at myself in the mirror.

Glasses off.

I set them down on my bedside drawer and then let down my hair, hair band thrown to the dressing table.

Only these two changed and I can already see a complete transformation from the nerd personality that has defined me.

To a gorgeous girl.

A gorgeous girl I have always wanted to show off, but never really had time to.

I can’t wait to look at myself when I am no longer in these PJs.

The teenager I thought I would ride with, but never did.

Walking down the street to run a few errands before my flight, lost in thought. As I replay everything in my mind. Someone grabs my hand.

A familiar feeling washes over me.

I curse in my head, already aware of who it is.

Fuck, I feel a sweet sensation on my hand. This man needs to stop.

I turn to meet Erede holding Anita by the waist, coming out of the children's clothing store.

The sight of Anita’s growing belly is the first thing I notice.

Then those loving eyes of Erede on me that keep the confusion rooted in my heart.

I must be the only one who didn’t know they were expecting. She is heavily pregnant.

Has it been that long since our family dinner? I must have been lost in my plan that I didn’t notice.

“Hello, Keirah.”

“Hello, Err.”

Then my eyes back to Anita and she nods sympathetically to me as she walks out of Erede’s hold and takes steps to pull me into a hug.

Apart from being everything that is not. When Anita is not around Mama or any of the town's people.

Or playing favorites. Most of the time, she genuinely feels as if in any other growing-up environment apart from this.

She would have been a better sister to grow up with.

There are some actions I remember vividly that she has done in my favor.

I am sure the actions came out of a place of love.

Those parts cannot take away the truth that she has done actions of the daughter of the devil himself, but in this situation, I blame Erede more than I blame her.

I watch the scene with mixed emotions. This has always been my dream of having a family with Erede.

Walking with him like this for the baby’s first shopping.

I am happy for her but, like this, I can’t help feeling a twinge of jealousy.

She has my dream life just like how I painted it.

I push the thoughts aside and join in the happiness. “Congratulations.” I squeeze her tighter in the hug.

“Thank you.” I notice tears flowing down her eyes.

And wonder whether these tears are of joy, guilt, or maybe hurt.

“Are you okay?”

“I am…” She rubs her tears away. “I am okay. It’s just the hormones. You are going to make a great aunt.”

“Thank you.” Erede finally interferes, pulling Anita back into his arms forcibly.

Before I can read more about his actions. He pulls her to his mouth for a deep, passionate kiss.

I turn around, ready to leave, when I hear him shout from behind my back.

“You look different.” I don’t reply.

And walk out of their site tears already dripping out of my eyes.

As I trot off. I pass by couples holding hands, mothers pushing strollers, and children playing.

Everything in my way tells me. I should be jealous.

I stop running and walk to a park bench and sit down, tears streaming down my face, envisioning their passionate display of love and how it still hurts me.

“Arre vou okayi?” A tiny human being with a tiny voice standing in front of me hands me a cookie.

I swear I love children.

I rub off the tears and take the cookie, thanking him.

“I am very okay, sweet boy. I am okay…” I pat him on the head before a woman who looks exactly like the boy walks over.

“Was he bothering you?”

“No…. No…” I speak out loud, my voice trembling with emotion. I hold the boy’s hand, walking him to the woman and trotting away.

I wipe away more tears, my resolve exaggerated to make my plan happen.

This is what I want, and I will let no one or anything stand in my way.

I walk to my parked car and take a seat, crying for a while and beating up myself for not knowing where I went wrong or what I did wrong to deserve this much pain.

 Luciano’s DM brings me back to my plan.