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As the stroke of the whip hit my ass, it made me scream because it was painful; it stung like hell. As the next one hit my ass, I screamed louder; I couldn't help it.

"Three": I was numb at this point; there was nothing to think about but pain. Again and again, I screamed, stroke after stroke, till it felt like I couldn't take it anymore; the pain was unbearable, as I could feel the cuts from the whip, yet I had begged him before not to hold back; now I knew why he did.

"Peach!" I screamed so loud because it hurt so much, and I was not expecting it to. As I heard the sound of the whip hitting the floor, I jumped as his hands released mine.  He carried me to the bed with my mind free, the pain, heartache, and memories all gone. I couldn't think nor talk; I was completely numb. He wiped my butt cheek with a cloth and applied some disinfectant to the bruise.

"I'm getting some ice; I'll be right back," he announced before stepping out. Lying on my stomach, the idea of him touching my ass filled me with apprehension. He returned, sitting beside me and gently placing ice packs on my sore behind. The coldness seared through, and I winced from the pain. His hand traced soothing strokes along my back, a stark contrast to the discomfort.

"Alright, now you can talk," he said in a low, quiet voice.

"Do you want to talk to me alone, or would you rather Steve be here as well?" His question seemed perplexing; resolving this issue should involve just the two of us, without Steve.

"Just you," I replied, awaiting his next question, the pain dulled by the numbing effect of the ice.

"Okay, so what do you want, Lisa?" I knew what I wanted; it was a straightforward answer.

"I want things to go back to how they were. I want us to be married, with me as your submissive. I just don't want Steve to leave and never be involved again. I don't want him to be my partner or anything; I just don't want to lose him." Silence followed, so I continued.

"I don't think I love Steve like you. In my mind, he's somewhat like my Dom, just not exactly one, if that makes sense. When I think of him, I don't envision connecting with him like I do with you. I see him more like when you're in your Dom space, authoritative. That's how I see Steve." My words prompted a change in his posture.

"You love him like a Dom, not like a couple, a partner, or a husband. What if you're not just my submissive? What if you're his as well, Lisa? I can discuss how it would work, but that's something I'm okay with. Rather than the thought of you two making love, I can see it like any other D/s relationship. Yes, you love each other, but not like ours; it's more like a traditional D/s relationship."

It seemed like a reasonable proposal, yet it still felt uneasy. However, it was a better alternative than trying to label it as a conventional relationship. I didn't want to share Steve's bed or his love; I just wanted him.

"Is that even a thing and possible? How would it even work" The thought, though, relaxes my mind; if it can work, that would be amazing.

"Let's talk tonight, with Steve once the girls are in bed. we should be getting up; you have work soon." He removed the ice, his hand putting bandages onto it to cover the cuts.

"I am sorry for hurting you, Lisa; I don't like punishing you at all." Turning to face him for the first time, I smile.

"As painful as it was, it helped. My mind's still free, and I now know why you wouldn't hit me full force; I know why you refused to not hold back, so I won't keep pushing for you to." He laughs at my response; I am not sure why it was so funny.

"I know, kitten; I will see you downstairs." His lips pressing against mine before he got up walking out. 

I feel awful. How can he be so nice? Sure, he's partly to blame for me loving Steve, but not for me sleeping with him. I don't feel like that punishment was enough; I should have forced myself to take all six whips. 

Getting dressed, I walk downstairs; Sean sat with the girls. Walking into the kitchen, I begin cooking, watching him walk over to me, his arms wrapping around me, his lips against my neck. 

"I still love you; we're still together and married, so don't be afraid of touching me, please, kitten. if we can't be like we were, that would hurt more then you walking away." 

Turning to face him, I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him to me, kissing him. Why do I feel like I have not kissed him in ages? My breathing is hitched, my heart racing.

"Calm down, kitten." He pulls back, kissing my forehead.

"Okay, the first rule: you can't both call me kitten. you two can sort that out yourselves, but it doesn't feel right anymore." 

It doesn't, and it needs to change. 

"Okay, Kitten." I burst out laughing at his response. 

"Sorry, old habits die hard and all that." He turned to walk back to the girls, finishing cooking. I plated it up, placing the five plates at the table. Sean walked over, looking confused.

"Oh, as you said, old habits die hard; I'm used to cooking his breakfast." Picking up the plate that is for Steve, I put it on the side.

"I was thinking," Sean's voice quiet I look up at him as I sit.

"Well, you have in a way been his submissive already; you have served him his food, cooked for him, and cleaned him up after the crash. You have been like his sub in so many ways already."

 Thinking about it, I have. I haven't exactly been his submissive in the sense he tells me what to do or chooses when we play, but I do treat him like my Dom. I look after him as much as Sean outside the bedroom. 

I know full well if Steve asked or told me to do something, I would. If he was authoritative enough like Sean after the crash, I know I would have listened to him and gone to the hospital, but he didn't. Sitting here eating, it feels weird without Steve and his jokes, something I may have to get used to.

"What do you want to do before work?" 

Sean's question has me thinking, what should we do? It is just me, him and the girls.

"Decorate. I mean, it's nearly Christmas and it doesn't look like it." It's not a bad idea, and considering it's now less than two weeks till the big day, we should have a tree up at least.

"Well, we need a tree. I prefer real ones, so it's something we need to order. We can either go to a place or order online and have it delivered tomorrow?" His question has an easy answer.

"Order online; I think a day just us here with the girls will be nice." It would be nice to escape the world today, just us, no one else.

"Sounds good; let's cuddle on the sofa and watch kids' films; they are the best, after all." Laughing at him, I nod in agreement; he can be a big kid at times. 

Grabbing Isabella out of her chair and standing her on the floor, she walks off into the living room, and I, Sean, and Katie follow. 

Lying on the sofa, we cuddle watching the film. As it gets near the end, I realise I need to leave for work soon. I would rather just stay here with him, though; things feel normal, and right now it is perfect. 

The door opens, looking up, I expect it to be Steve. I see Beatrice instead; she walks towards the living room. Opening the door, she looks at me.