RILEYThere is a saying that goes this way. The more you look the less you see.Okay that doesn’t match with my situation, and that is definitely not the quote I wanted to use in this time of my life.Because I know the saying. But heaven knows I don’t know what on earth that saying means.For a situation like mine, a better term to use is the tragic cycle. I had read about it in a book, once upon a time. They had used it to refer to a situation where a main character in a story would know that there is a looming tragedy about to befall them, and will try everything in their power to evade that thing. But what makes it a cycle is that the farther you run from it, the closer you get to it.Story of my life.I knew… heavens, I knew this thing with Ryan, whatever it is, I knew it would not last.A thing in me always kept on keeping me in check not to give my heart out again, not to feel too comfortable in his arms, not to fall into line with the way of life of his people as it is defi
RILEYWe are in our most recent position that has somehow become our normal position.Ryan’s favorite way to sleep.Earlier, he held me. Took me in his arms, while he hand goes through my hair in gentle pats. Soothing. Very soothing.Now, he lets me hold him.He comes to bed, late as usual, and if I am asleep, he somehow nuzzles his way into my arms, so his head is kept close to my chest. And if I awake, I would spread out my arms and let him rest in my arms.This is complicated. I know.There is still no concrete definition for our relationship. But I know I like breathing in the scent of his hair when they lay splayed on my chest. The way his hands go around my waist and my belly.It had been that way last night.After our shift, he had the decency to turn around when I shifted back.I had been quite courageous to strip in front of him before the shift, because so many things were going on with me at that time.But when the pain was gone, along with the bother of the shift process g
RYAN "Your back still hurts?" I ask her what has been on my mind all day. I had been in a meeting. Stanley, Alpha of Stanley Pack has sent his messenger. He had come here with news regarding the silver store.They had begun to search for it, and reasons.why the accusation had been on them in the first place.Tat had been a very important meeting, so i had no choice but to be there when he brought the report to the Council.I sat there, in body and flesh. But my mind and spirit was with My girl.As it always is.She was supposed to stay in the meeting with me. But I had not told her about the meeting, because I know sh I in pains.I have never been a wolf before.I have never been close to any. So I don't know how this whole full moon thing goes for them.With the knowledge of how painful it must be for her fo my strong girl to flinch this much, and knowing that this will happen to her every full moon, makes me wish that I had the power to make her a Lucas like myself.But that is no
RILEYMy back hurts. The pain has gotten fiercer than it was this morning.I had flinched when Ryan tried to pull me back to bed. And him being him, got bothered.When I had told him what was wrong, I didn’t have to tell him why my back hurts because, of course he remembers what I had told him to be the cause that first day my back had begun to hurt.Then that sweet brutal man, gently laid me on the bed and gave me an unpaid session of massage.It had been relaxing. Even though a very nasty part, that I do not know when it came into existence, in me, noticed that he kept my shirt down and covering my body, and tried hard to not touch or see any of my bare skin.I would lay in bed and think about it, as that is usually what I do at this time of the night, but I am too engrossed in holding this pain. Holding myself from crying out, while having so many question running through my mind.It is night. Well, late even. And I can see the reflection of the moon, outside the window. It is obv
RYANIt is one of those mornings I don’t want to get out of bed.Somehow is my sleep, I had rolled into her, so that my head is now in her arms and her fingers are giving my scalp a massage I never knew I needed.The fact that I now have more than my usual two hours of sleep, is quite… surprising.It had started that night I had finally returned to bed.That night I had held her in my arms and made her fall apart in a way she is obviously new to.I don’t know what had influenced my sleep. Don’t know if it’s the fact that I now have her wrapped around me every night that gives me this sense of… peace.If it were other times, I make sure she is asleep before I leave, and make sure to arise early to go watch over her. So, my brain and body got used to the very few hours of sleep I offered it.I had thought it had something to do with that man.But with the way I sleep nowadays, it has been confirmed that it had very few things to do with him, and a lot to do with my Girl.Her head threa
RILEYThose dark eyes meet mine, and the tension enveloping me, almost suffocates me.I never knew I would see him again.I didn’t have a plan for what I would do if that happens. I still don’t. That is why I am still standing and staring deep into those eyes that used to see me. Eyes I thought used to see me.Why is he here? To take me back?Did Ryan willingly allow him into this space? Or…Was he captured and brought here as hostage? The thought of that should make me happy. That someone is retaliating his betrayal, should make me all excited.But I feel…numb. Surprised.Eyes still on me, he slowly stands to his feet.“My Lady.”Gerald.His voice is gentle as ever. And there is something in those eyes. Something I want to and at the same time do not want to know what it says. Is it weird that despite being a major partaker in humiliating me, I still miss his presence?He was a reassurance that though others see me as everything beneath, I still mattered and should be respected.W