The wrong place for Goodbye

"No" I jerked his hand off my shoulder and began walking away as fast as I could.

"So that's it?" I heard Travian muttered but I chose to ignore him.

"You said you wouldn't hate me" He added and for some reason, my feet got stuck on the ground.

My heart and mind was in a complete mess and I wished I didn't leave my home seeking solace in a bar.

"But you ran away the moment no eyes were watching" 

"And so what?" I barked, turned around and faced him.

"I said I won't hate you but that never meant I will stick around and let you ruin me" I wasn't in my right mind and whatever I was saying was my emotions controlling me.

"Ruin you? When did I ever say that? You know it better than I do, how much I've always wanted you" Travian began counting strides forward, closing the distance between us.

"But you never loved me" I whispered, heartbroken, "and even if you do, that doesn't mean you'd be any different" I took three steps back, evading his closeness.

"Soren" Travian called as he reached out for me, I pulled away evading his touch.

"Don't please" I begged in a choking voice, "don't make this even harder and more complicated for me...let's pretend we don't know each other " I didn't wait for him to agree or disagree, I turned and ran away.

I knew it was a stupid idea to leave the house, and the stupidest to ask him to pretend we don't know each other but I've said it anyways and that's better that way for us.

*****************

After what happened last night, I barely slept and now, I feel like shit forced to roam the daylight.

I walked back to the counter after serving a customer, Luke had his eyes on me like he was trying to make sense of my situation.

"You look exhausted!" He pointed out and I just nodded.

"Want to grab some rest? I can let you slide off for today" He proposed.

I thought about it but then, I shouldn't accept it. Luke has been nothing but kind to me, way more attentive and I don't want to use his goodness for my own gain. I did this to myself and I must face it alone.

I forced a smile, "don't sweat it, I'll be fine. 

I went inside, poured myself a glass of fresh water and gulped it in a go.

Feeling better, I carried myself back outside to wait in case there's a new customer. There, I spotted Travian and the lady from the other day.

They both walked into the building, chatting as she giggled. Even if I wanted to ignore it, I couldn't miss the way their hands were wrapped with each other, and how she kept caressing Travian's arm like it was very normal.

I am no fool not to understand the situation, it's either she's he's girl and their dating or it.

I felt a lump in my chest as I came to the conclusion he really isn't for me and he's with someone better.

I guess she isn't scared of love and she's better off with him than me.

Travian glances at my direction and our gaze meets, I quickly evade his stares, forcing down my saliva down my throat.

They went ahead and took their seats. With a deep breath, I walked up to them and forced a smile when the lady's gaze met mine.

"Oh, it's you again," she chirped.

I nodded, "yes, it's me...can I have your order please?"

I felt Travian's hot gaze on me, willing me to look at him but I didn't give in. I want to avoid him as much as I can.

"Cappuccino for me" she said and went about texting.

I held my breath, getting myself ready to face Travian. When I was sure I could take whatever, I turned and faced him, trying to keep the professional smile on my face even though I couldn't.

"Can I have your order?" 

"Black coffee and extra sugar" he said, his eyes never leaving mine.

I noted it in my small booklet and turned to excuse myself when he said,

"Can we talk? Please!" 

Chaos, that's all I felt inside. The urge to want to say yes but I stopped myself from saying it.

"I don't have time for leisure, I'm sorry" with that said, I turned and walked away.

I handed the orders to Luke who went ahead to make it. While I waited, I couldn't stop myself from feeling hot, like there was a fire inside me that way trying to burn itself to life.

I needed some air, some space to get myself back in control.

"I'll be right back" I said and quickly walked away. As soon as I saw the restroom door feet away, I fastened my pace and rushed in.

I reached for the sink, poured water and washed my face. It was helping, a bit though.

After I was done washing my face, I pulled out a tissue and patted it dry. Then I raised my head and saw my reflection in the mirror.

Damn, I was disorientated and I fear that my days of peace of mind are long buried in the past.

“I didn’t recognize the person staring back—just a cracked reflection of the peace I once hoped to find.”

"Why the heck will you choose to come here of all places?" I cried in silence.

I left for a new town for a reason, peace and a new beginning, that's all I ever wanted. But Travian doesn't seem to comply with it, that's why he had to follow me, chasing me around like my most desired predicament that I long for yet wish for it to stay far away.

While I stood there lost in my thoughts, the door creaked open and someone walked in. 

I glanced at the mirror straight to the door and was once again left astonished to see Travian standing there, staring back at me with an even more determined face.

"Shit!" I cursed under my breath, my head ran wide trying to think of a way to escape him, again!