05

Fabiola.

I beat my pen mindlessly against the table. Everything felt different, my zeal to be at the top of my class, the expectation I had for college year gone. My woeful attempt to speak to my crush wasn’t my ultimate failure after all, this, my life, was an epic failure. 

I was in Blake on a scholarship program. Only crazy rich people could afford this kind of education and my uncle wasn’t one of them. If he was, he would send Pen here, not me. 

Lost in my own thoughts I didn’t notice Lan approaching till he was standing in front of me. 

“Hey” 

I jerked at the sound of his voice. My heart raced, pounding crazily against my ribs. For the first time, Lan Hawkeye approached me. 

“Hi.”  My voice sounded like a whisper.

“You’re my Uncle’s wife,” he lifted a brow, waiting for me to tell him he wasn’t mistaken. 

For a split second, I forgot I was married. I almost squealed, seeing every hope of having a productive conversation with my crush shatter. 

“Yes,” I responded after a swallow. 

“Yeah, I knew it.” His eyes beamed. “I knew you looked familiar, it only makes sense that you're a student here.” His gaze, his words, everything about him was warm and soothing to my soul. Just what I needed.

Please don’t keep my hopes up with that smile. I prayed inwardly. 

“Yes, I go here,” My reply was clumsy and I didn’t dare meet his eyes. 

“Oh, I see, uhmmm… see around then.”

Yes, I chased him away with my awkwardness again. 

I nodded without a word. I’ll be stupid to keep holding onto the feelings, the earlier I accept my fate the better for me. 

The day ended with me having a serious headache, my hand itched to grab a pen and draw something but I fought it. I gave up that side of me since I lost my parents, the last thing I ever drew was that tattoo. 

People didn’t look at me differently, I was still that nerdy girl who needed spectacles to read or see clearly. I wore them only when I needed to study because I didn’t want to feel like a loser. I haven’t managed to make a friend, not like I could talk to anyone about my life. The Hawkeyes wished that this union remained a secret. It was part of my contract. 

I believed I would die of depression before Mrs Hawkeye did anything to me. 

“Fab.” 

I looked up at the mention of my name to find Pen, with her hair properly styled, looking presentable as always. “Thank God, I’ve been waiting here all day. Mom said we are not allowed to visit.”

I couldn’t fight my excitement, it was good to see a familiar face after all this time. 

“Hi.” I smiled wistfully, looking up with hope. Did she have good news for me?

“Mom said to tell you that after you complete your first task, you would get paid by Mrs Hawkeye and…..

“First task?” I interrupted. 

“I mean you would get paid handsomely for every time you and Tobias had sex.”

My lips fell apart in shock when I understood her. 

“You’ll be asked to choose the bank account the money should be paid into, you must ask that they pay into Mom’s…..”

I stopped her to catch my breath. “This is what you came to tell me?” 

“Yes, your communications are being monitored as long as you’re in the four walls of his manor,” she replied. 

I swallowed thickly. Foolish me, thinking my cousin cared about me. 

“If she wanted money paid to her then she could have married him.” I wanted to say that to her so bad but I just couldn’t. 

I was speechless, I didn’t have a reply. When I spotted Dave leaning against the car, I exhaled. Perfect timing. 

“My driver is here,” I smiled briefly at Pen, hurrying away before she could say more. 

“But you understood me didn’t you?” She yelled from behind. 

I went straight up to my room immediately after I got home, ignoring Sarah who asked if I wanted to eat. She let me be, the way she looked at me with pity I knew she understood my predicament, I wasn’t the first. 

Holding a conversation with him was impossible, and seducing him wasn’t anything I could do. He was gay and Aunty Cathy was already calculating how she would spend the money. How exactly would Mrs Hawkeye know if I was actually bedded by her son? Is she watching or what?

…

When the subtle knock came on the door I stopped sobbing. No one had to see my pain, I’ve always tried to get it together all my life. My parents were my only friends. 

“You have to eat something, it’s sundown,”  Sarah said from behind the door.  

I didn’t argue, although I knew I had no interest in food right now. “I will be down in an hour.” The last thing I wanted was for her to see my puffy eyes. 

“An hour,” she repeated before leaving. 

“Why is this happening to me?” I asked myself as I resumed crying. 

I never went down after an hour, I lied. My rumbling stomach woke me up in the middle of the night 

I went downstairs still in the dress I had on all day, taking lazy steps. I squinted my eyes at the sight before me, it was a bit blurry. 

I blinked and I saw, clearly. 

His huge body lay on the floor helplessly. Tobias was sleeping in a pool of blood that seemed like it was his. Sleeping or dead? 

I panicked and froze at the spot where I stood on the stairs. What happened here? I should be screaming for help, running to him but I didn't. I just stood there. 

If he dies, I’ll become free. I’ll return home since there was no one to be seduced but on second thought, what if I get blamed for his death, arrested, or even worse killed. 

No. 

Without thinking, I ran to him, screaming for help. 

“Sarah! Dave! Anyone!”