15

Five years ago

“Kalix naman! Ano ba! Stop torturing yourself! Hindi mo kasalanan na namatay ang mag iina mo! It was her fault, kung bakit ba naman kasi nag magaling ang babae na yon, at hindi muna nagtanong sayo!”

“Shut up, Fin, will you?” I can’t properly walk, due to my hangover, “I hate when you’re nagging early in the morning,” I said, and grabbed a can of beer on my fridge.

“Kalix!” Fin shouted and steal the can on my hand, “I said stop it!”

I muffled and looked at her, “Who the fuck are you to tell me what and what not to do? How the fuck did you even get in here? You have in no good position to tell me anything I need to do, shut the fuck up, will you?”

I saw how her eyes go teary, but I don’t care, no one, when I said no one, not even a single soul can understand what I feel right now. The guilt that is building up, every passing days, the regret I’ve been drowning into, and the misery that I had the chew up every morning.

“I’m just concern about you, it isn’t really your