4. Cold Sense

Kanya's POV 

After Samuel Wijaya left my apartment, I stopped eating breakfast. I spaced out for a moment; warm tears fell from my eyes without realizing why. My chest slowly felt tight, and the cavity in my heartfelt as touched by something I didn’t know. 

It was like a longing melting the frozen blood from my every vein. My warm tears keep flowing. I could not hold it in anymore; sobbing cries filled my apartment. 

I am not sure where these longing blows came from and ripped my heart. Eros’s pained face flashed through my mind, my chest became even tighter, and my heart was getting torn even more. The man wasn’t real, and I had repeatedly stabbed him viciously with my hands.

I was paying attention to the hands that had stabbed him mercilessly. I felt like stabbing my hand and bowing because the tightness in my chest became more and more like I missed something I didn’t want to let go of, but what? Could it be Eros?

“Ah” My crying didn’t stop even though I tried several times to clap it firmly on my chest. “It hurts.”

It doesn’t feel like it’s been an hour since I’ve been crying for no apparent reason. The fried rice in front of me is already full of tears. I feel exhausted after draining my tears. My breath is gasping, my throat feels dry, and I swelled my eyes. My vision became a little blurry because my eyes still pooled warm tears in my eyelids. It’s always the same as before; pain. My eyelids closed, and the last drops of my tears slid smoothly down my cheeks.

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly for a few seconds before I got up and cleared the dining table, then rushed to the bathroom and found my face in the large mirror in front of me was messy. The figure that appears in the mirror is me. Tears like a shower of rain have wiped off the make-up on my face. When the world is shrouded in cloudy clouds, it will not stop until the clouds turn white again, and with sorrowful and puffy eyes on my eyelids. 

My fingers touch the reflection of my eyes in the mirror. “Is this me who never cries even though I’m hungry? Is this me who doesn’t cry even though I’m injured? Is this me who won’t even cry when I’m ill? Then what makes me cry?” Question after question, I threw at myself.

Again I touched my chest. “Here, it hurts so much. I seem to miss something or someone who breaks my logic.” Also, I took a deep breath, the feeling of tightness still inhabiting my chest. “Looks like I have to retake a shower. I can’t allow myself to be like this and become too over by a strange feeling that bursts in without reason.”

🍁🍁🍁

I soaked in the bath for 30 minutes and almost fell asleep in there. After changing clothes and making a coffee cup to keep my eyes awake, I brought a cup of black coffee into my room.

However, I have to continue my activities as usual. I have decided to make a synopsis for the third novel, even though my second novel is still ongoing. I want to reproduce my work and increase my income, of course.

Feeling somewhat calmer after sipping the black coffee in my hand and smell it like relaxation again. “Well, black coffee is indeed the best friend.” My smile has bloomed again, and the tightness that I felt earlier has faded slowly.

Putting the cup on the nightstand, I took my cellphone and looked for a writing platform is where my script uploaded. “How many views today?” for a moment, I covered my mouth with the palms of my hands while watching the daily number of views. “Wow, that’s not bad even though it’s not that scene. I suppose that scene is maybe, even more, wow, because I just updated last night, there must be more than this, tomorrow.”

Too happy, I grabbed the coffee cup and took a sip like cold water. “Ah—” I put the ceramic mug back on the nightstand, “Ah! It’s so hot.” Take some tissue and then wipe my lips. I thought, could it be that today is a bad day for me?

I took the laptop that I deliberately brought here after turning it on before taking my cellphone. My fingers began typing each series of paragraphs from the next chapter. I cannot stop when my fingers have danced on the black keyboard on the bed.

My second novel’s character is named Eros Darwin — as the main character who has multiple personalities. I purposely gave Eros Darwin a psychopathic character in this novel; at least, he still lives in a world of fiction.

“Eros,” I whispered as my fingers typed Eros’s name into the paragraphs on the flat screen. “Why is it so cold?” I touched the back of my neck because I felt something cold passing there and then spontaneously turned my face to the open balcony.

“No wonder it’s cold—” I interrupted myself. “Who opened the balcony door?” I was frown for a moment because I never opened the balcony door, or maybe I forgot to open it? I shook my head brushed off strange thoughts that seemed about to creep into my mind soon.

My feet darted quickly towards the balcony door and closed the door. But a strangely cold sensation still greets my nape area. Spontaneously I looked back and found no one. “Haha,” I chuckled, “it’s still early, it’s still early, Kanya. What are you thinking?” Today, the weather is quite cold, so I closed the balcony door so that cold air does not enter my room.

I was running towards my bed while squinting, looking left and right. “This is my apartment; what do I do with dreadful events? What nonsense.” I said calmly.

My fingers returned typing after distracted for a while; the idea in my head didn’t disappear at all. A new series of paragraphs began to flows like a waterfall. I was so focused on looking at the screen filled with a new line that I touched the nape of my neck and felt something cold sticking to it.

Turning my face to the left, still, there was no one. “Who?” My forehead creased because after removing my hand from the nape, the area felt cold again.

Like a cold hand stroking the nape of my neck, I swallowed deeply and shouted again, “Who?!” Trying to close my eyes and feel the chill still there. Cold as ice. I could not stand it anymore because I was afraid. I moved so fast that I had to fall out of bed. “Who!” I shouted as I ran towards the door and immediately came out of my room.

🍁 Happy Reading 🍁

If something I don’t know makes tears fall. What should I do to find out? — Apple Leaf