Chapter 21

Xander's POV

The car ride home is quiet. It was quiet on the way there too, but that had been the easy kind of quiet—the lazy, half-asleep kind. This is tense as fuck. The kind that presses against your ears and makes you want to punch something just to break it. Every now and then, one of the guys mutters under his breath. “Fucker. Cunt. Bastard.” Those are the most common words, and I know we’re all brooding over the same thing—Zahra’s fucking boyfriend.

Zach is grinding his teeth so hard I’ll be surprised if he still has molars by the time we get home.

When we finally pull into the garage and head toward the front of the house, I hear voices out back—and my heart sinks. Fucking Helena. She’s the last person I want anywhere near Zahra. The thought of the two of them in the same space makes my stomach twist.

The house smells incredible, like it always does. Lacy must be cooking up something special for dinner. My stomach growls loud enough for Zach to smirk at me. The scent of roasting beef hits me like a drug, and I’m halfway to the kitchen when Mum says, “Zahra, we’ve got a couple of hours before dinner. Would you like to freshen up? Your bedroom’s ready for you.”

I have to bite back a laugh. Zahra’s figure is lean, solid, all hard-earned muscle. She trains as hard as ever, and I’d bet my left arm she’s starving. The canapés they served earlier were the size of postage stamps. They didn’t even register as food. Even after three breakfast burritos this morning, I’m still hungry as hell. There’s no way she can wait a few hours before eating.

I wrap my arm around Mum’s shoulders, steering her toward the kitchen. “Mum, if she’s anything like us, she’s starving after those sad little canapés. Can we get some snacks?” My stomach growls again, as if to back me up.

It’s heart-warming watching Lacey and Zahra greet each other. The way Lacy lights up when she sees her, it’s like she’s welcoming a daughter home. And when she offers to make sandwiches, I’m ready to propose to Lacy myself.

But then we head outside, and I’m not ready for what’s waiting.

The others rush out to their mates, laughter echoing across the patio. Zach leads Zahra toward Mara, and the joy on both their faces is impossible to miss. It’s good—beautiful, even—but it digs a little deeper than I’d like to admit. Then Eliot, in his usual blunt way, points out that neither Max nor I have found our mates yet. The sting is sharp. I see Max’s grimace too, and the ache in my chest doubles. Being near him again is easier than it used to be, but it still fucking hurts. And seeing him look that lost makes it worse.

The guys are introducing their mates, pride radiating off them in waves, and all of them seem to instantly warm to Zahra. She’s glowing, smiling that soft shy smile that hits me somewhere deep. I’m so caught up watching her that I don’t notice Helena until she’s already wrapped around me.

I freeze as she presses a kiss to my cheek—way too close to my mouth. Every muscle in my body locks. I have to fight the urge to shove her off and tell her to keep her fucking hands to herself. ‘Why don’t you?’ Atlas asks from the back of my mind, his tone dark. It’s a valid question. One I don’t have a decent answer for. All I know is that her touch makes my skin crawl.

Still, everyone’s watching. There’s no way out. I grit my teeth and force it. “Zahra, this is my girlfriend, Helena McGlynn.” The words taste like poison.

Helena steps forward, that fake smile plastered on her face, her voice dripping with forced sweetness. “Zahra, it’s so nice to meet Zach’s baby sister. Everyone’s always talking about you. You’re… different than I imagined.”

I can practically hear the condescension in her tone, and it takes everything in me not to roll my eyes. I’d never hit a woman—but I might gag this one. Zahra narrows her eyes, the barest flicker of a smile touching her lips, and for a second, I want nothing more than to see her put Helena flat on her ass.

We all sit down. Henry joins us at the edge of the group, which is weirdly comforting. He feels less like an outsider than Helena ever will. The conversation flows easily at first—the others telling Zahra their stories, laughing about how they met their mates. It’s warm and familiar, but the ache in my chest keeps building. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Max picking at the label on his beer bottle, his jaw tight. Helena’s arm slides around my waist, and it feels foreign—wrong. The only arms I want around me belong to Max. And, fuck, maybe Zahra too. That thought hits like a gut punch, and I shove it down fast.

I’m pulled back when Zach, oblivious as ever, says, “So, Zahra, I hear you have a boyfriend at the academy?”

I sit up straight, pushing Helena’s arm off me, my eyes fixed on Zahra’s face. Henry shifts in his chair.

Zahra smiles, small and tense. “Yes. Eli and I have been together for the last two years.” There’s no excitement in her tone, no sparkle. Her voice is guarded, distant.

The girls lean forward eagerly. “What’s he like?” Mara asks.

Zahra scrunches her nose in that way I’ve always loved, the gesture tugging something deep in my chest. I have to physically stop myself from reaching out and kissing the tip of it.

“He just finished fourth year. He’s a good cadet. Blonde hair. Brown eyes. And…” she trails off.

Weird. There’s no blush, no gushing, no glow of affection. If someone had asked her about Seb three years ago, she’d have turned red, giggled, and babbled about him for hours. Now she talks about this Eli like he’s a stranger. My gut tightens. Something’s off. Way off.

I clear my throat. “Don’t you think you’re a bit young to be dating?”

She scoffs. “I’m seventeen, Xander.” Fuck. The way she says my name, even with irritation, sends a shiver down my spine. Every nerve in my body wakes up. “I seem to remember you all dating much younger than that. Besides, you didn’t seem to mind so much when it was…” She trails off, the ghost of Seb between us all. The air thickens with memories none of us want to touch. I see her glance at Max, who takes a slow sip of his beer, eyes dark, before “Don't you think you should wait for your mate?” Max says, his tone careful but carrying an edge that slices through the air. His words are a punch to my gut, because he’s right—and we didn’t. None of us did. I’m with Helena, using her as a placeholder until my mate comes along. It’s pathetic, but after everything that happened with Max, I couldn’t bring myself to risk that pain again. Anxiety over the bond—over my mate—has haunted me for years.

But Zahra being Zahra doesn’t let that bullshit slide. She lets out a small laugh, the sound light but cutting. “That’s a little hypocritical coming from all of you.”

Max flushes red, and I catch the girls giving their mates sharp, pointed looks. But Zahra’s next words pull me in hard.

“And the academy is lonely,” she says softly. The change in her voice guts me. “My cohort barely speaks to me. I train independently. I've been cut off from everyone for three years. If it wasn't for Eli, I think I would have gone mad.”

Fuck. I never thought of that. We knew it would be hard for her—being younger than everyone, isolated—but I figured she’d find her footing. Brant and Tobias always said she seemed settled, that she had friends. Maybe they meant Eli. Maybe they were wrong.

“What do you mean you train independently?” Eliot asks gently, pulling me out of my thoughts.

Henry leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “You all know how exceptional Zahra is. We train her alone to hone that. Dropping her into standard cadet drills would waste her potential—and demoralise and ostracise the others even more.”

Shit. 'She’s literally been alone for three fucking years'. Atlas growls low in my mind, and I can’t focus on anything else. Rage and guilt churn together until it feels like my skin’s too tight. Then Helena scoffs beside me, rolling her eyes at whatever’s just been said. Atlas lunges at the sound, but I lock him down before he can take control.

Thankfully, Lacy appears like divine intervention, carrying a mountain of sandwiches. The smell of roast chicken fills the air, breaking the tension just enough for everyone to breathe again.