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Chapter 41
publish date:
2026-04-22 19:23:11The estate became quiet again.
But this time—
It wasn’t calm.
It was empty.
THE DAY AFTER__
No one spoke loudly anymore.
Even the guards moved differently.
Carefully.
As if sound itself might break something fragile.
Because everyone knew—
Something had broken.
And it wasn’t something that could be fixed.
Eli hadn’t moved much since it happened.
At first, they tried to take Charlotte away.
Prepare her.
Lay her to rest properly.
But Eli didn’t let go.
Not immediately.
Not easily.
“…Leave her.”
His voice had been low.
But final.
No one argued.
Not even Kieran.
So they gave him time.
More than they should have.
Because no one had the strength to force him.
He sat alone in the room they gave him.
Curtains drawn.
Lights off.
The air felt heavy.
Stale.
Untouched.
Eli sat on the floor, back against the bed.
Charlotte’s bracelet was still in his hand.
He didn’t remember picking it up.
But he hadn’t let it go since.
His eyes were open.
But unfocused.
Like he was looking at something that wasn’t there.
FLASHES__
It came in pieces.
Not full memories.
Fragments.
Her laugh.
The way she said his name.
The warmth of her hand.
The way she looked at him—
Right before—
Eli shut his eyes tightly.
But it didn’t stop.
“…I love you.”
His breath hitched.
“…Don’t…”
His voice cracked.
“…Don’t say that again…”
But his mind didn’t listen.
It kept replaying it.
Over and over.
Until breathing itself started to hurt.
They brought food.
He didn’t touch it.
They brought water.
He ignored it.
Hours passed.
Then more.
Still nothing.
Because eating meant continuing.
And continuing meant accepting.
And Eli—
Wasn’t ready for that.
KIERAN__
Kieran stood outside the door longer than he should have.
Listening.
To nothing.
That silence—
It was worse than anger.
Worse than shouting.
Because at least anger meant Eli was still there.
This—
This felt like losing him slowly.
Kieran entered without knocking.
Eli didn’t react.
Didn’t even look up.
“…You need to eat.”
No response.
Kieran stepped closer.
“…Eli.”
Nothing.
Just silence.
Kieran’s jaw tightened slightly.
“…Ignoring it won’t change what happened.”
Still nothing.
Then finally—
Eli spoke.
“…Then what will?”
His voice was hoarse.
Empty.
Not angry.
Not loud.
Just… gone.
Kieran didn’t answer immediately.
Because there was no good answer.
Eli let out a quiet, broken laugh.
“…Exactly.”
He leaned his head back against the bed.
“…There’s nothing, right?”
Silence.
“…She’s just… gone.”
That word—
Gone
It didn’t sit right in his mouth.
Didn’t feel real.
“…People don’t just disappear like that…”
His grip tightened around the bracelet.
“…They don’t just… stop existing…”
His breathing became uneven.
“…She was just here…”
His voice cracked again.
“…She was right there—”
He shut his eyes tightly.
“…And I couldn’t do anything.”
Eli finally looked up.
Not at Kieran.
But through him.
“…I told her to stay behind me.”
His voice dropped.
“…I said I’d protect her.”
A pause.
Then quieter:
“…I brought her here.”
That truth weighed heavier than anything.
“…If she never came…”
His voice broke completely.
“…She’d still be alive.”
Kieran stepped closer.
“…No.”
Eli’s eyes snapped to him.
Sharp.
“…Don’t.”
Kieran didn’t back down.
“…That’s not how this works.”
Eli stood abruptly.
“…Then how does it work?!”
His voice rose for the first time.
Raw.
Cracked.
“…Tell me!”
Kieran held his gaze.
“…You don’t get to take all the blame just because you’re hurting.”
Eli let out a bitter laugh.
“…I’m not taking it. It’s mine.”
“…It’s not.”
“It is!”
The room fell silent after that.
Heavy.
Tense.
Eli’s strength faded as quickly as it came.
He sank back down slowly.
“…You don’t get it…”
His voice dropped again.
“…You didn’t see her…”
A pause.
Then softer:
“…The way she looked at me…”
Kieran didn’t respond.
Because he understood more than Eli thought.
Maybe even more.
That night—
Eli left the room.
No one stopped him.
Not even the guards.
Because the look on his face—
Said enough.
He walked without direction.
Without purpose.
Until he found himself somewhere quiet.
A storage room.
A place no one really used.
There were bottles there.
Left behind.
Unimportant.
Forgotten.
Just like everything felt.
Eli picked one up.
Stared at it.
Then laughed softly.
“…Why not…”
The burn hit his throat hard.
Unpleasant.
Sharp.
But it didn’t matter.
Because for a moment—
It distracted him.
And that was enough.
So he drank again.
And again.
Until the edges of everything blurred.
Until the memories slowed.
Until the pain dulled—
Just a little.
Kieran didn’t need to search long.
He could feel it.
Eli’s presence.
His state.
When he entered—
He stopped.
Eli sat on the floor.
Bottle in hand.
Half empty.
Eyes unfocused.
“…So this is your solution?”
Eli didn’t look up.
“…It’s better than remembering.”
Kieran stepped closer.
“…It won’t last.”
Eli laughed weakly.
“…Good.”
He took another drink.
“…That’s the point.”
Kieran crouched in front of him.
Took the bottle from his hand.
Eli didn’t resist.
Didn’t care enough to.
“…This won’t bring her back.”
Eli’s eyes finally met his.
Red.
Tired.
Broken.
“…Nothing will.”
Silence.
Then:
“…So let me have this.”
Kieran’s grip on the bottle tightened slightly.
But he didn’t argue.
Because for once—
He didn’t have control over this.
Eli leaned back against the wall.
Eyes half closed.
Voice barely there.
“…I don’t feel anything right now…”
A pause.
Then quieter:
“…That’s better.”
Kieran watched him.
And for the first time—
He realized something dangerous.
This grief—
If left like this—
Would destroy Eli completely.
And Kieran—
Would not let that happen.
No matter what it took.
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