13.

SHERNEIL.

I hate flights.

Especially this particular flight.

Or perhaps I hate it more because I haven't been myself. Because as stupid as I was, I had let go of my control and done something that I am currently regretting.

Something I shouldn't have. Something like having sex with my mate. Ugh! I hate this stupid mate bond. I hate feeling like I have no control over my actions or responses. I hate not being in control of myself. And that is exactly what the bond is making me do.

The plane landed a few minutes ago. I checked my luggage before finally trudging to the gate. There are only a handful of people around and that might be because it was still quite early in the morning.

I shivered a bit as a cool breeze wafted through, and for just a moment, I regretted my choice of clothes. I wore my usual knee length ankara gown. It is sleeveless- a polka dotted blue and white ankara. I left my braids down without packing them into a bun, like I usually do. Why? Because that damn man left hickeys scattered all over my neck.

I sighed, tapping on my phone and waiting for Natasha to pick me up. We spoke last night and I decided that I wanted her to pick me up instead of Ammi. Because Natasha wouldn't treat me like a fragile glass about to break.

She never did. That is one of the reasons I am actually comfortable around her. Why I value her friendship, despite the fact that she is the Queen. Natasha made sure that I don't see her as just my queen, but rather, a friend I have come to appreciate over the two years I've known her.

I shifted my weight again and I couldn't help the uncomfortable strain between my legs. It reminded me of what I have done. Again.

And the reaction of the man, who unfortunately, is still my mate afterwards. Why does he have to act this way?

Heck, I shouldn't even be thinking about this now. It's all I spent last night doing, and yet, I can't help it.

Mav had already made his real intentions clear. He doesn't want me and he never will. Last night, I pushed him into doing this, thinking I would have the upper hand. But oh man, was I wrong. I didn't have the upper hand, nor did I have the control over everything like I wanted to. I didn't have control over anything.

I ended up being controlled. Being used. Then cast aside like the unwanted mate I am.

Even without openly voicing it, Mav's actions already told me how much he doesn't want this bond. But the most confusing part of this is the fact that he doesn't want to let go either, despite what his actions show. He refuses to reject me, nor will he let me reject him.

Why continue to hold onto something you don't even want? It makes no sense whatsoever, and that only confuses me more.

'As much as I want to stay mad at him, I can't deny that I had a great night!’ Robyn huffed, pursing her mouth before she swiped her tongue over her snout. She has been grumbling ever since he left, or to put it correctly, she has been mad.

Mad that we enjoyed it. Mad that he made us feel that good. And mad that he was so nonchalant about it.

'Yeah. And that sucks.' I grumbled.

I did enjoy it and I had no problem admitting that. Only, I would never admit it to Maverick. Not in this lifetime, nor in the next. Never.

'It was good,' I murmured.

'The best, Sher. The. Best. Ever.'

I sighed, massaging my temples to ease the tightness. Damn it! Why did it have to be so good?!

'Not horny anymore, I suppose?' I teased.

'I think I am even worse now. I was horny over something I had never had so good. And right now, even though I am thoroughly pissed, I want a taste of it again. But, not the expense of meeting that jerk with a goddamned handsome face and thick body. Damn, Sher, tell me I wasn't the only one who lost it when I saw all those inky swirls?'

A small laughter escaped my throat. I covered my mouth with my hand and pushed my suitcase to the other side with less people. The airport was not overly crowded today, and I wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that people are waiting for the last two days before the ceremony to start arriving.

'Well, truth is, I never knew I liked tattoos until I saw them on him.' I answer truthfully. I mean, it's just Robyn, there's no point lying or hiding what I truly felt.

'Such a shame that he's such an idiot,' she cursed colorfully.

Okay, Robyn is definitely pissed. She never curses unless she's pissed.

'I mean, who in their right senses wouldn't want us as mates? Beautiful, gorgeous, independent woman with a great IQ, a sense of responsibility, and a quick-witted wolf with enough horniness to last us for all of eternity. I mean, we really are the full package, and yet, we ended up with a selfish idiot like Maverick as a mate. Such a shame, a damn shame.'

Yes, to everything Robyn said. Every. Single. Thing.

'You'd think that he's sane enough not to do this, and to be honest, I assumed he wouldn't leave that way. While I personally think something is amiss somewhere...'

'Nothing is amiss anywhere, Robyn. All there is to this is simple: he doesn't want us. His words and actions were loud and clear.' I cut her off.

The image of him pushing off of me as soon as we were done and showering still wouldn't leave me. It's as though he was eager to wash off any part of me that stuck to him. To get rid of me. To show me how unimportant I was to him. As if I was just one of the many other women he had probably slept with. After all, he was an escort.

Somehow, the whole thought was unsettling. And that stuck harder than I wish to admit.

'The next time I see him, I don't care about the situation, I'm ending whatever the hell this mate bond is. There's no point holding onto something with no value. Not even a bit.'

Robyn went quiet and I didn't care to ask if she was okay. This is more about me than her. I take the hit more than she does. If that means I need to take this decision into my hands, then that's what I will do.

I am rejecting him the next time I see him.

'You did good yesterday, albeit almost panicking and losing it all, but you did very well. I loved seeing you take what you wanted. I loved seeing you put yourself first, before anyone else. You did an absolutely wonderful job.'

This. This is one other thing that I absolutely love about Robyn. The pep talk and confidence booster. The constant reminder that I'm doing good. It is honestly one of the things keeping me going. She helps me navigate and stay grounded.

'Thank you, witty wolf,' I laughed softly, loving the sound of it.

'Yup. Witty. Sexy. Gorgeous black-furred wolf with a sassy mouth and a sharp mind.' Robyn said, shaking her fur, which to be completely honest without being biased, is the most beautiful fur I had ever seen.

The ping on my phone stopped me from answering and I looked down quickly, hoping it was Natasha.

But it wasn't. It was the last person I was expecting to text.

Maverick.

M- 'Trust you are good (you should be, after the earth shattering orgasm I gave you last night). How was your flight? Take care.'