20.

MAVERICK.

"So... What did you do?" Khalil asked, resuming his push ups. Sweat glistened and rolled down his thick, hard muscles. On the surface, he looks like a dangerous predator ready to rip one's neck off. But on the inside, he was as soft as a teddy bear. The complete opposite to this dangerous dragon.

"What was I supposed to do? I left." I grumbled, rubbing my tired eyes.

I had left Sherneil two hours ago and it was still early morning. While I'm exhausted, I still couldn't actually sleep. The same way I couldn't sleep last night. All I could think of, all I could feel, was her and her scent enveloping me. It was a complete disaster.

I left her apartment as early as I could and booked a hotel room because I wasn't ready to face my brother and his wife just yet. I needed to get myself together before I faced them, or else they would shower me with questions. Questions that I don't have the answers to at this time.

The thought that she had been able to push me into coming back to this kingdom after two years without even trying gnaws at me. I had vowed to only return when I had found out what I could about my birth mother. And yet, here I was. Scared I was being ignored by my mate. Scared that something had happened.

"Like you literally just left without doing anything? Making a move? Getting to know her more? Anything?" Tabitha asked, raising one of her brows in a mocking gesture.

This was one of those moments that I hated this particular power of mine. The one that allows me to talk to my blood-sworn members as though we were having a video call. While they can't see me and could only hear what I say through their minds, I could see them. Every single move they make. Every gesture. It is like the live images of what they are doing projected into my head.

While I disliked it at some points, it was still my favorite from all the power I possess. Times like this are crucial. Because this way, I could get live feedback on what is going on even if I'm not in the same place with them. Times like this.

We aren't together but I know the exact expression plastered on each of their faces.

"You're such a dick," Abeel rolled his eyes, hiding more in the bushes behind the castle that they were spying on. "You just left us in a hurry at the border, growling and swearing that you were going to go get your mate. And now what? You slept on the sofa without having the guts to own up to your mistakes? And after the way you treated her, seriously?!"

"Yeah. He's a total dick," Khalil groaned, still continuing his exercise.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes for the umpteenth time as I dropped my head on the table before me. Don't they get it? I've already messed up and I need to take things slow. I need to be sure I'm not signing myself up for another damaged heart. That and the fact that I needed to find ways to make her hate me less.

"She hates my guts," I finally voiced what had been gnawing at my mind. "She looked at me like I am the most disgusting being she's ever seen. How was I supposed to make a move in that situation?" I asked, lifting my head back up.

Silence descended after my confession.

I knew it wasn't something they thought I'd share. Hell, even I didn't know I was going to say that. But the pain was just... too much. It was ripping at my insides, dragging away the bits of myself that I had tucked inside, hidden away. It was self-damaging, I knew that. So much so that I felt Amadi stir uncomfortably before returning to his corner.

This was the fourth time he had reacted since we met her Friday night. I'm not exactly sure if that is a good thing or not. Nor was I sure of the reaction that the team had. Blank faces and simply staring into space.

"Can you guys say some..."

"Someone is coming," Tabby whispered, ducking down behind the bush even more.

I settled more into the chair, focusing on looking around the damp dark forest behind the elder witch castle. If I had gone with them, she'd have agreed to see us, but Asabe will never see those two alone. Not even when they offer her a year from their ages, which was her favorite thing to take away.

The rustling continued, but nothing happened. And the door to the castle remained closed. But I saw it, as fast as it approached, I saw it, the rolling ball of darkness coming directly towards my friends. I found myself yelling at the top of my voice.

"Get out of there!" I screamed, frantically reaching through the connection to pull them away.

Fortunately, both Tabby and Abeel were fast, and in mere seconds, they left the vicinity, thick black smoke filling the sky a moment later.

"Shit!" Tabby cursed, her eyes wide and frantic. "That was so close. Too close."

I gulped. That certainly was very close. Closer than the attacks had ever been before.

"Get back to the cottage and wait until I get there. I should be there in a week. Use that time to search and find out what you can. While that may have been from Asabe's castle, it doesn't look like something she can pull off alone. Do not do anything more until I get there. Just gather as much information as you can without drawing attention to yourselves.

Tabby nodded, still dazed, while Abeel ducked down a little to remove the leaves from his boots. "We'll stay safe. Do what you can down there. Just don't leave without at least apologizing for making her believe that you are truly an escort."

I nodded, already deciding that was what I'd be doing. Staying back to woo my mate. After her text had come in, the one where she mentioned that she sat close to another man whom she liked, I couldn't see or think straight anymore. And so, I did the only rational thing I knew at the moment. I booked a flight and flew down to her.

All I wanted to see was her, especially when I found out exactly who the man she sat close to was.

"I'll fly in today. Two heads are always better than one," Khalil said, wiping the sweat off his face with a small towel. He was breathing heavily, possibly from the exercise and the rush of adrenaline from the tone he heard in my voice when I was screaming at Tabby and Abeel to move away.

"Don't worry, they are okay," I assured him. "It was just closer than the attacks normally are."

He nodded, dropping the towel and stalking towards another door. "Cut it off. I'm going to shower and get ready to come to you."

I did as he said and cut off the thread of connection between us. "We'll go rest too. If anything comes up, don't hesitate to reach out. We will do the same, as well."

I simply nodded, ending all connections with them.

Damn the perks of being a royal lycan were quite badass!

But a rogue lycan is basically useless, a voice in my head reminded me. I was nothing but a shame to the kingdom. A failure to the woman who had treated me like her son. A failure to the one brother I have.

Because I am nothing but a bastard desperately looking for love where it is not given.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes again before I leaned my head against the back of the sofa. Despite being the first child in the kingdom, which should have ultimately made me the king and not my brother Aiden, I wasn't. Hell, I never wanted to be the heir, nor did I want to be the king. All I ever wanted was for Baba to look at me with the same love and adoration with which he looks at Aiden. To treat me like a son, the son that I am. Like I was his to want.

But that has never happened. Baba doesn't want a bastard. And my mother, whoever she is, wherever she is, thought the best thing she could do for me was abandon me where I wasn't wanted and leave.

It is why I'm trying my hardest to find her, my birth mother. Because I needed to know. I need to find out why she didn't want me. Why would she just abandon me?

That fear of being abandoned again, or rejected, was one of the reasons that I couldn't do this. It was the reason that I couldn't commit to my mate. But after Friday night, I wasn't so sure anymore.

I pulled my phone out, desperate for a distraction. But while scrolling through my contacts, my finger's unceremoniously stopped at Baba's name. And for some very odd reason, it felt as though I was being yanked back to the scene when Baba pronounced me a rogue.