21.

#FLASHBACK#

I swallowed hard as I stared at Baba's looming figure over me. He always does this. Makes me feel like the loser I have always been. Like the freaking unwanted bastard he constantly reminded me that I am. I was kneeling before him, the moon shining above us. The pounding in my head was too much, so much so that I didn't want to keep my eyes open for too long. It's been hours since Baba had rescued us from the Fiko forest.

I still smelled of the nasty plants thrown at Aiden, my hands still had the black blood I watched him gurgle out after the attack. And my clothes stuck to my body from the sweat and blood as well. But that didn't matter. Nothing mattered except for the fact that my brother was in there fighting for his life...while I...I was here...well, dealing with the consequences of my actions.

"You shouldn't be here! If anything, you shouldn't even bear my name. A bastard son is not one a king is proud of and certainly not from a mother like yours!" he thundered. "You should be the one injured! The one fighting for his life, not my son!"

His words pierced through my chest, cutting through the rigidity I had thought to have placed on my heart whenever he lashed out. Today, more than ever, his words hurt the most. He had called Aiden his son and didn't ever address me as that. As though he wasn't the one that fathered both of us. But why does it matter now? It's not like he had ever treated me like a son.

My wolf stirred, just a bit before the connection cut off.

"Baba..."

"Don't Baba me!" he yelled, pointing at me. We were outside, behind the courtyard, where he was sure Mama wouldn't hear us, at least, not with Aiden laying in there fighting for this life. "If you have any consciousness left in you, you'd leave this kingdom and never return!"

I looked up at him, eyes wide as I stared straight into his dark angry gaze. Certainly, he does not mean that, right? "But I can't leave," I tried to argue. "Aiden is sick and..."

"And whose fault was that? How do you plan on helping him? By hurting him more till you kill him so you can take the throne?"

"I would never do that..."

"Of course you will! I see how you act around the council, how you laugh and joke with everyone. I know what you're trying to do, Maverick, and I won't sit back and watch you do that!"

I ducked my head again, fighting to get my throat to work again. But it seemed like it was clogged, no matter how hard I tried, no words were coming out. There was a loud buzzing in my ears and a heavy feeling settled on my chest.

"Maverick, if you have any respect left for the woman who took you in and cared for you like her own, if you have any shame left, and if you are certain you don't want the throne, I want you to leave the kingdom and never, I repeat, NEVER EVER RETURN!"

I sucked in a shaky breath. I never understood why Baba hated me this much. Surely, it wouldn't be because my mama wasn't his mate as he always likes to say, right? Because it makes no sense. That shouldn't be the reason I get this much hatred from my supposed father!

"Do I make myself clear?" I heard him ask. His voice shook, and so did the earth. Baba just used his Alpha King voice on me, and regardless of how much I wanted to fight it, how much I wanted to say no, I couldn't. Despite my gifts, I would never be able to fight off his command.

"Baba..."

"I, King Amari Kabir Dakarai, banish you, Maverick, from this kingdom and my family. You have no ties with me or any member of my family anymore!" he commanded, and I felt it as the strings that tied me to the kingdom snapped. The same way that my wolf felt it.

I was...a lonely lycan rogue.

"While you are at it, make sure no one finds out about this. If you value your life and that of your brother, you'll leave as though you wanted to. In a way, they'll hate you for hurting them."

The sob I had been trying so hard to hold back escaped and I nearly choked on my spit. That's it!

"Pathetic as always! A real man never cries, nor does he show his weakness to his opponent. A real man hides his tears; no, he never lets them fall." And with that, he turned around and began walking away.

Somehow, I gathered as much courage as I could and called after him.

"Why do you hate me so much? Why despise your own blood, Baba? Surely, it's not entirely about my mother not being your mate, right?"

Baba paused in his tracks. I watched as his hands that he had clasped behind his back tightened before he turned to face me. His face bloodshot, and the corners of his mouth pulled taut.

"You have no idea, Maverick. Just leave."

I knew better than to ask more. But that confirmed my suspicion. There must be another reason Baba despises me this much. But it's too late to find out.

I stood up, with the tears still rolling, patted the dirt off my trousers, looked up at the house one last time, recalling all the childhood memories Aiden and I had shared before I turned and walked away.

He wants me to leave. Wants Mama and Aiden to hate me. He wants me to live in pain forever.

And that was what I did.

I embraced the pain and agony, and let it shape the life I carried.

After all, a teenager like me deserves no happiness. I soon realised that I was numb to the pain and sadness I had once left.

A bastard with no emotions. That. Is. Who. I. Am!