Chapter Four

He was scum, and no one missed him. After my first disaster in BDSM, i decided to leave it alone, wanting pain, needing pain, and craving pain had to be pushed aside, the pain i craved that no matter what anyone did to me, i couldn’t feel.

I couldn’t allow myself to become vulnerable to anyone, wolves were not submissive and did not enjoy that bite of pain to get them off, nor did they hunt for someone to hurt them in the hope of feeling it. I didn’t know why i was different from the others in my pack, but out of fear i did not ask anyone what they experienced.

The couples i saw in the pack were always sweet together, my first time had been awful, and the guy I had shared it with had held me down as he pounded hard into mybody. The only thing i recalled liking was being held down and the fact I couldn’t feel anything as he bit me during his release, from that point my need to find pain had only grown, my wolf knew what she wanted, and so did I.

“I’m sorry, Master.”

I followed the sound to see a man embracing his submissive, he wore a pair of jeans, and that was all, his arms were around his woman, and he stroked her hair. “Next time you will take care, won’t you?” he asked.

My curiosity got the better of me, and i found myself watching the couple, I didn’t know their names or their relationship to each other. The scent coming off them told me they were both wolves.

“Laura didn’t take any precautions while she was out shopping and walked in front of an oncoming bus. If David hadn’t been close by, she would have lost their unborn baby, and could have been killed. We can withstand a lot, but a head on collision with a bus is pushing it a bit,” Ethan said, sitting beside me.

Fisting my hands on my knees, i tried to fight the need to look at him.

" You are mates. Stop fighting it" Riya, my wolf hissed.

According to Ethan we were mates, but i didn’t trust the feelings going through my body. I had been in such awful predicaments that I didn’t have the first clue what to believe anymore.

My wolf craved his harsh punishment as did i, yet we were both cautious, our past mistakes and cravings making us wary.

He stared at me, All his male perfection taunted me with what i could have and held myself away from. Was he here to mock me?

"He would never do that to you. Stop treating him like the others" my wolf inserted smoothly, making me roll my eyes.

I forced myself to look at him and then wished I had not, Ethan was not wearing a shirt like most of the men in the club, however, when he was semi-naked, i couldn’t focus on anything but his revealed flesh.

His usually pale skin was tanned from the hours he spent in the sun, the same skin was covered in different kinds of ink, none of the ink was colored or elaborate, the designs were in black ink, pretty simple, yet they stood out on his body, which was strong, thick, and muscular.

He made my mouth water when I just simply looked at him, i quickly glanced down at my skirt, wishing I had put something more on.

When Ethan stood beside me, he made me feel small, delicate, my size sixteen curves next to him felt like nothing, he pulsed with energy and power. The Alpha wolf inside him exuded everything i wanted in a man and a leader.

"Don’t trust too much" my wolf’s inner warnings made me tense up.

“Look at me, Emma.”

He spoke harshly, my body awakened once again, and i looked at him. His black hair hung over his face brushing the tops of his eyes. Ethan have a lot of hair, full smooth blonde hair that i was left wanting to run my fingers through it. His brown gaze was focused entirely on me, i shivered at the power, the slight hint of jax as his wolf came to the surface.

Mate.

“Thank you for telling me,” i said. “Are they your wolves?”

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing. I was just curious about the couple.” i offered a smile even though smiling was the last thing i wanted to do.

“You’re lying to me again.” he said, without blinking, I hated that he could read me, my facial expression, my mind.