Mated To The Enemy

“Are you ready”? I shouted at the crowd as I was staring down the side of a cliff, about to dive head first. “F**k yeah”! I heard them shout. “Jump jump jump jump”! Was all I heard as I tossed back a shot of whiskey, and jumped out as far as I could. I stretched my arms out in front of my head and tightened my body ready to hit the water.

*SPLASH*

The impact stung my face and body from the height I had jumped. I didn’t care though, it was rare that I’d felt anything at all. As I emerged to the surface, I heard applause and “You’re f**king crazy Henlie”! I swam to the bank with a smile of pride on my face. No one can touch me, no one can rain on my parade. I felt unstoppable.

Ethan and Jessie my best friends since Headstart met me at the bank and helped me out of the water. “Okay party animal, I think it’s time we made our way back to my house”, said Jessie. Ethan wrapped me in his jacket, and guided me towards the car. Jessie jumped in the drivers seat of the amber colored Range Rover and started the engine. Ethan helped me into the backseat, and buckled me up. He jumped in the passenger side and shook his head. It was silence for five minutes straight, and I could feel their judgment. “What is wrong with you”? Ethan shouted. I had nothing to say, I just looked out the window as the trees from the forest started to disappear. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

The next morning I opened my eyes and sat up. I squinted from the pounding in my head. “Here take these, it will help with that headache”, Jessie said as she handed me two Tylenol. “Thanks”, I replied as I took them from her hand and swallowed them without water. “So, you wanna talk about last night and your d**th wish”? Asked Jessie. “Not really”, I shook my head. She looked down at her hands and nodded. “I should probably get home, don’t want to worry the folks”, I said as I got up and grabbed my stuff. Jessie stopped me and hugged me. “I love you Henlie, you’re not alone in this world. Call me if you need to talk”. Jessie said with a sincere look. “I know, I love you too Jessie”. I took another look at my best friend and left. As I’m driving home, I can’t help but wonder why I’m so destructive. It’s been 3 years since my dad passed away from heart failure. Shouldn’t I be over it by now? Shouldn’t I move on just like my mother did? Anger rises in my heart every time I think about my new stepfather and mother living in the same house my father built. The day of his d**th, she got rid of every piece of my father. Every shirt, every picture, h*ll she even got rid of the food he likes. I cant process what the f**k would possess her to act like that. But grief strikes us all differently right? She’s moved on with her life, and I’m recklessly trying to take mine.