Chapter 4: Losing Control

Kai’s POV 

I hate myself right now. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I really don't.

As it stands now, my control over this situation is as thin as thread.

The torment was even more during this full moon week. The only thing I could smell was her scent. That was all Amber allowed me to smell.

The only name that rang in my ear was her's, Mila.

Amber has been demanding to claim her, he asked me to mark her before he does. Her scent is driving me crazy. I've totally lost my fucking mind.

Today's game is just so crazy. I'm just playing like a man that's completely lost his mind, I'm possessed by her and I'm controlled by Amber. They all noticed my madness, they just couldn't help it.

I couldn't avoid looking at her, those golden magnetic eyes, I couldn't avoid it.

She possessed me and I couldn't help it, even though she didn't even look at my side, I kept looking.

After the game, everyone knew I wasn't myself, but I didn't mind. I trailed her scent and found her alone in the tunnel, packing her equipments.

Just what I need. I felt like tearing her apart, that was all silly Amber wanted.

“What is it this time?” She frowned. “Leave, I don't want to hear anything you have to say!”

I wasn't even listening to that shit. She was angry about last time, but it wasn't my fault. I couldn't let Ethan know I have feelings for her. He'll just go and tell Dad.

I pushed her to the wall and pinned her right there.

“What are you doing?”

I placed my hand on her mouth, my mouth whispering inaudible things in her ears.

She couldn't speak, she felt it, everything, all the held back feelings and emotions, her anger couldn't come between it.

I heard her heart drumming against her chest, I could feel it. I felt her shuddering breath on my skin, her golden eyes locked on to mine. I was weakened, all I want is her and she wants me.

I smelled her arousal mixing with her fear. I wanted to kiss her so badly, I wanted to suck her, all of her. I want to fuck her.

I let her wrap her hands around me, I held her waist softly, the soft air whispering in our ears. I saw the beauty of our love glittering in our eyes. My hands trailed her neck, moving slowly with a poised smile.

She felt my heat, she reacted to it, craving everything Amber wanted. I couldn't help it, I just agreed to it all.

However, when I was about to kiss her, when I was about to cement our union, I remember what he told me. I remembered his words.

“You must be responsible. You must find a mate, don't bring a human back home. I'll send you both away…” His hoarse and deep voice rang in my ears and scattered my mind.

Our lips were just inches away from joining when I jerked my head away.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…”

I ran off, leaving her confused and breathless. I know she was scared, I know she was confused, I saw it in her eyes. She was literally shaking like a child. 

I'm sorry for hurting you, Mila, I just can't help it.

I can't do this. I can't.

I couldn't listen to Amber anymore. Now I have to make the hardest decision of my life. I rejected her before Amber took total control of me. 

I allowed my cold words sink into my head. 

“She's just a human. She's not your mate.”

Pain enveloped my heart, I just had to wear a fake smile and headed back to the dressing room and watched her in tears running home.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

I wish you'll understand.