Chapter 2

When I was five, I was always excited whenever it was time for bed. My Grandma Momma will cook our dinner. Let me brush my teeth and comb my long hair. And after that, she will put me into bed and bedtime stories will follow. She told me a lot of fantasy stories, but my favorite was the pirate of the Lost Sea named Escarial. He was the epitome of perfection. Gentleman, handsome, a knight in shining armor to most of the ladies in their land, and most of all, he caught the heart of the brave princess, Athalia.

            Princess Athalia was the only daughter of King Eldar of North Sonnenfield. People around her were expecting she should be prim and proper at all times and will say yes to every order of her father along with the council. But Princess Athalia was not a typical one. She has a brave heart and a strong mind. King Eldar arranged her marriage to a prince of South Sonnefield that made her run away.

            But the night she was about to escape, Bandits of the Sonnenfield broke into the palace. They hurt her father and escape after they stole the precious stone of Sonnenfield. It was a powerful stone that gave power to the entire kingdom. It is a lifeline of the Sonnenfield.

            She decided to look for the stone and bring it back to the Sonnenfield. That was when Captain Escarial came to the picture. Princess Athalia asked for the pirate’s help in exchange for tons of gold. They sailed to the vast ocean and fell in love afterwards. But when everything falls into place, Captain Escarial needs to leave her to save his crew from the head of pirates’ society. She was left behind and ended up waiting for her after years and years…

            Princess Athalia was brave and I wish I am too. I wish I am as brave as her for letting Captain Escarial go. I wish I am brave enough to accept that my grandmother left me and will never come back even if I cried a river here.

            My chest cramps and my eyes pooled a hot liquid as I watched my grandmother’s coffin being buried six feet off the ground. I cried silently while hugging her picture.

            ‘I will miss you, Grandma Momma,’ I said silently. ‘Thank you for taking care of me when my own father couldn’t. Thank you for always being there for me whenever I need you the most.’

            “Merida, let’s go.” I heard my father said when the visitors leave one by one.

            I shook my head and blankly stared to nowhere.

            “Merida, it’s getting late,” Daddy told me again.

            “Leave me alone,” I answered in a low and blank voice. I just felt so tired at this very moment that I don’t want to talk to anyone. I want to be alone because I might break down here if they insist on talking to me.

            “Dad, let her. She’s big enough and can go home alone,” Jelanie said in an irritated tone.

            If we were in a normal situation, I will surely roll my eyes at her b*tchiness. But I don’t have the energy to do that.

            She obviously doesn’t want to be here. What should I expect? Among the three of us, I am the only one who is close to our grandmother. It’s not surprising that they didn’t even shed a tear for my poor Grandma Momma.

            Same goes with ass-Jackson, who’s standing emotionless beside my father. He looks bored all this time.

Finally, Dad heaved a sigh and tapped my shoulder silently. After that, he left the cemetery with my siblings. I was left alone in the middle of the cold and sad graveyard. Another set of tears streamed down on my face.

Why is it so painful when someone leaves you? How can I move on with this when I never talked to her for the last time? Why didn't she wait for me? One week from now is our sports competition. Was she really tired that she couldn’t wait to see me compete? I hate her for leaving me and making me sad like this.

‘I hate you, Grandma Momma. But I still love you so much.’

I stepped away from my grandmother’s grave. It’s getting dark and the silence of the place intensified the sadness that I am feeling right now. The cold wind blew my hair and I couldn’t help but to hug myself.

How can I live now?

           “Merida Green, if you don’t come out now, I’ll break this door and drag you out,” I heard my Dad outside my room, shouting with anger in his voice.

I didn’t move on my position nor blink at the loudness of his voice. It’s been two weeks since my Grandma Momma’s death. I’ve done nothing but stay in my room, cried a river and wasted my life. It’s Inter-high school sports competition week and I should be in school, preparing myself for the fencing sport. But how could I do that when I want to be alone and don’t want to talk to any living creature outside my comfort zone?

“Young Lady, don’t make me say it trice. I’m telling you!”

I got my comforter and pulled it up until it covered my whole body. My ears were used to Dad’s angry and irritating voice. He should realize by now that I am not going to follow whatever he said just because he scared or warned me—not even flinched.

I heard a loud thud and I closed my eyes because I know what will follow with that.

            “One week was enough. You should go to school or else I’m going to send you to Switzerland,” he warned. I answered by rolling my eyes in my mind.

            He must have lost his patience, finally, because he pulled the comforter and switched the light on in my room. I kept my eyes closed and groaned in annoyance at the same time I put my arm above my eyes.

            “Did you hear me, Merida? You’re going to school or else I will let you live in the countryside of Switzerland.”

            “Do it!” I answered in a low voice. I am just so tired with all of this. My father thinks I cannot live my life in the countryside away from them. Oh, please! I am not Jelanie, who will throw tantrums if she can't shop in a day. That brat loves the city so much that she could die if ever she set her foot in the province.

            I thought he would continue his rant, but after a minute; I heard nothing from him. I felt him sit on my bed, just beside where I was lying.

            “Merida,” he started. This time his voice was low, but there’s still the glint of strictness in it. “I understand why you were acting like this. Your grandmother’s sudden death hurt you. But you have to understand that your world should not stop revolving just because someone left you.”

            If I am surprised by what I’ve heard from him, I manage to hide it and keep my blank face as I stare at the ceiling of my room. This was the first time he talked to me like this. I can’t remember him talking to me like this since forever.

            “You don’t know how I feel,” I quietly said without looking at him.

            “I know. We have different kinds of pain that we need to fight within ourselves. Your grandmother left because she needs to. She was tired and can we just be happy for her because finally, she can rest now. She’s been suffering for years now, she’s old.”

            I gritted my teeth and jumped from my position and punched the mattress. “Stop saying you know how I feel. You know nothing about my pain,” I shouted angrily. “You do not know how messed I am right now. How can you say that it’s good that she’s gone? How dare you?!”

            “Don’t raise your voice on me, Young Lady! I am still your father!”

            I let out a mockery laugh. I can’t believe that he has the guts to tell me that. “Are you?” Tears started to pool in my eyes but I stopped myself from crying in front of him. I won’t let her see my weak side. He doesn’t have the right.

            “Are you my father? I thought I had no one. My Grandma Momma was the only one who was always there for me. You gave me cold shoulders and I never felt that I belonged in this family.”

            He was in shock at my sudden outburst that made him gaped in front of me. I grip the hem of his long-sleeve and stare at his eyes. “You’re not the one who raised me, anyway. I doubt you’re my Grandma Momma’s son.”

            I harshly pull my hand and grab my comforter to cover myself again. “I want to be alone. I’m not going to school and if ever the press found out about it, you can kiss your presidential ambition goodbye. I don’t care if you’ll send me out of the country. Grandma Momma is not here, anyway,” I declared.

            My father doesn’t say a word. He must know that I am not in the mood to fight with him. I sighed when I finally heard my door closed after the light went off. I tried to go back to sleep when I felt my stomach grumbling. I’m hungry, but I don’t have the drive to stand up and find food for myself in the kitchen.

            The maids have given up on me because I keep turning down the food that they delivered in my room these past few days. I gripped my comforter and sighed lazily before pulling the comforter away from my body. I stood up and left the bed to get myself water from the mini-refrigerator inside my room.

            I pulled a bottle of water and a chocolate bar before I sat on the floor while my back was against the fridge’s door. I eat my bar while I keep staring at the dark ceiling above me. I have been like this for two weeks.

            I have the right to be like this, right? I have all the rights to be sad. I am also a human, for Pete’s sake! If Jackson, Jelanie and my father move on that fast, well, I can’t. Now I wonder if Grandma Momma was her real mother. I wonder if they were really my family?

            After I took the last bite of my chocolate bar, my eyes darted to my closet and a decision came up in my mind. I stood up and grabbed my back from the corner of my closet. I put some clothes on and check my purse if I still have some money to spend.

            I changed my clothes and tied my hair before I opened the door. I glanced at both sides and when I didn’t see any maid strolling along the hallway; I tiptoed out of the mansion until I reached the gate. I called a cab and told the driver to drop me at the bus terminal. I want to be with my grandmother even though I can’t be with her literally. I want to go home and Green’s mansion is not my home.

            It was already ten in the evening when I finally arrived at my Grandma Momma’s town. Good thing I still have my own key to the house where we used to live when I was still a kid.

            The door creaks when I push it open. Silence filled my ears when I finally stepped inside the house. Light filled the darkness of my surroundings when I opened my phone’s flashlight. I look for the bulb’s switch behind the front door.

            I grunted when it didn’t work. It’s been years since the last time we stayed here.

            I kept my light from my phone when I walked into the kitchen to look for a candle. Good thing I am immune to this kind of situation. I’m a fan of watching horror movies because darkness couldn’t scare the hell out of me.

            The entire kitchen lit up when I finally found the candle. I went back to the front door of the house to secure the lock before walking upstairs to my grandmother’s old room. The screeching of the door and the smell of my grandmother filled my nose and I couldn’t help but to smile and hug myself.

            I put down my bag and placed the candle above the bedside table and lied on the bed. With the help of the dim light, I saw how the room stayed, how it used to be. Its smell musky and the creamy-white color of the wall made me feel like I am really home.

            It’s been a long day for me and tiredness puts me in a deep slumber.

            I have no idea how long I’d sleep. But when I woke up, it was still dark outside, and it was raining. The candle was now small in size compared to earlier. It will run out soon. That’s why I need to find another one. I stood up and left the bed. I brought my phone with me when I went down to the kitchen to look for the candle. There’s no signal in this area and I wonder if the Green’s were looking for me.

            I shook my head in annoyance. Why am I thinking about them at this moment? I should just think about myself and my grandmother. Wasn’t it the reason I was here in the very first place?

            I went back upstairs to change the candle, but before I lit the new one, the wind entered the small crack of the ceiling and the light went out. I sighed and fished out my lighter from my pocket and lit the new candle. Dim light filled the whole room again as I placed it above the bedside table.

            I stretched my body and roamed my eyes around the room. My eyes darted to the painting that hangs on the wall. I remembered that my Grandma Momma used to stare at this painting from time to time. I went in front of the painting as I stared at it carefully. My head creased and my eyes widened when I saw the blue part of it move like waves. I blinked multiple times when I thought that I was hallucinating. I even pinched myself.

            But to my horror, the painting was really moving. I was about to scream at the top of my lungs when a light blurred my eyes and the next thing I knew, a force pushed my body and the painting swallowed me to nowhere.