Chapter 14

When it came to having me receive treatment in the hospital, Jason displayed an unshakeable decisiveness. Unfortunately, the person he was dealing with was me, and this was the one thing I refused to budge on.

Sadly, I didn't hold out for more than a few hours. I suddenly developed a fever in the middle of the night and was rushed to the hospital.

Lately, I'd grown rather lazy. When Jason was around, he would drag me out for a walk or two. Recently, though, he'd been busy with his own matters, so each time before he left, he would remind me to move around more.

I would always nod half-heartedly, then sit by the window and stare blankly out at the lawn. The grass was so green that it looked almost black. Every time, I would stay there for hours at a time.

Hospitals were, by nature, colorless places. So, when a little girl wearing a rainbow-colored hat appeared one day, I couldn't help but notice her.

She would always appear at the same time every day, around 4:30 pm, wearing the strangest hats. As she skipped in, there would always be someone chasing after her gently yet exasperatedly, urging her to slow down. Sometimes, it was a young couple; other times, it was an elderly gentleman.

The little girl had many loving family members and friends to play with. No matter who she encountered, she would greet them with a beaming smile. She was like a free-spirited butterfly.

I felt a little like a creep, but watching her smile became part of my daily routine. Every day, I would sit there eagerly. Sometimes, I wouldn't even notice when Jason returned to the hospital.

That day, the girl wore a hat with sunflowers all over it. To amuse her, the adults pretended not to see her and searched all over for her. A triumphant, radiant smile lit up the girl's face.

She began darting about restlessly, glancing back as she ran until she inadvertently bumped into someone.

Jason crouched down, holding a bouquet of sunflowers. He said something to the little girl before ruffling her hair and turning to look at me. His eyes sparkled.

The girl followed his gaze. I propped my chin on my hand, turning my head away in embarrassment.

A moment passed. When I looked over again, Jason and the girl were gone. I returned to my room and looked for my phone to call him. For some reason, my phone was nowhere to be found. Someone knocked on the door just then.

When I opened the door, the first thing I saw was her bright red hat. Then, I saw her lively eyes blinking at me.

The little girl's first words to me were, "Hi! You're so pretty!"

She then poked her head in mischievously. "Jason said if you don't come downstairs, he'll give your flowers away to the nurse!"

I froze. The little girl couldn't wait any longer. She darted inside, took my hand, and led me outside.

She led me out into the sunlight where Jason stood waiting for me, holding a bouquet of fresh flowers in his arms.

The little girl chattered nonstop from the second we met.

She told me her name was Petunia Springs, like the flower. She stayed in the room two doors down from me, but since I never left my room, I never had the chance to meet her. Petunia told me she'd wanted to talk to me for ages. After all, us pretty girls must have endless topics to chat about.

From that day on, I had a new little friend in the hospital.

Petunia loved braiding my hair. She would prop her chin up to gaze at me as she asked, "How long would I have to live to have hair as long as yours, Cass?"

Her question caught me off guard.

Petunia's condition was more severe than mine. Her hair had already fallen out, so she always wore a hat. I knew Petunia, like every girl, wanted to be beautiful too.

Petunia's voice was cautious when she asked about my hair. Her eyes were bright with hope.

I gently brushed her nose and said, "I've been growing my hair out for so many years now that I've forgotten how long it took me. Take your time, Petunia. Let it grow slowly. When you get to my age, you'll definitely have long, luscious hair."

She believed me completely, her eyes brimming with hope as she nodded happily.

I supposed not even the heavens could bear to take a girl as wonderful as Petunia away so quickly.

Soon enough, the hospital notified Petunia that a match had been found for her bone marrow transplant.

The day before Petunia was admitted to the isolation ward in preparation for her transplant, my condition suddenly took a turn for the worse, nearly taking my life. The pain pierced my bones. The doctor gave me some medication and told me I would have to endure it on my own.

The next morning, my hospital gown was soaked through with sweat. I felt as though I'd been crushed to pieces, then pieced back together. I fought for control over my own body as I hovered at the edge of life and death.

It was then that I realized what I'd taken for granted had become an unattainable luxury. Now, sleeping or even breathing without pain and suffering seemed impossible.

I slept heavily, like someone who'd just emerged from battle. I was drained of all strength and energy, yet I was still aware of everything around me.

I couldn't tell how much time had passed before faint sounds reached me from outside the ward. Then, I heard a familiar voice that I couldn't place somehow.

Moments later, the door was pushed open. Someone approached me softly, but my eyelids were too heavy to lift. After a long while, I began fading into unconsciousness again.

Vaguely, I felt a pair of warm hands touch me, gently smoothing the creases between my brows. That touch was familiar, so familiar that my heart ached.

When I first stayed with Sean, I would sleep with my back to him out of habit. Initially, he said nothing. Afterward, however, he would forcibly pull me into his arms.

From then on, even in my half-asleep state, I could always feel him gently smoothing out my unintentionally furrowed brows. At first, I pushed him away impatiently.

Eventually, though, I just let him do whatever he wanted.