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The First

Author: Jewella
last update Last Updated: 2025-06-19 04:24:43

Alex~

My mouth tastes like bad decisions and vodka-laced regret.

I wake up groggy, my head pounding like a broken drum set after a rock concert. The room is dim, sun barely sneaking through the window blinds. My throat feels like sandpaper, and the only movement I can muster is a groan as I roll over—and instantly regret it. Every part of my body aches.

I blink hard, trying to place myself in the room. I’m in bed—my bed, thankfully—but still wearing only my boxers. My jeans are tossed carelessly across the floor, belt twisted. My shirt is nowhere in sight.

Great.

I sit up, head still spinning, and that’s when I hear it.

A voice. Seth’s voice.

It’s low and unusually soft. Not the usual cocky or loud-mouthed tone he uses when mocking me or trying to make everyone in the room aware of his existence.

This voice is careful. Vulnerable.

I know I shouldn’t be listening, but I stay frozen.

“I don’t care what the doctors say, Ma. You should’ve called me earlier,” Seth says, his voice tight, strained in a way I’ve never heard before.

There’s a pause. Then softer, “She’s just a kid. Why would they let it get that bad before saying anything?”

“Tell her I’ll call after my 11AM. Just—hold her hand, okay? Even if she acts like she doesn’t want it. You know how she is.”

Guilt pinches at my gut for how I’ve been thinking about him. He’s not all smirks and suggestive whispers. There’s something else under all that swagger. Something real.

I roll over with a groan and accidentally knock over a can of soda from last night.

“Shit,” I mutter, scrambling up, shirtless and barely in my boxers.

The door creaks open just as I’m wiping my hand on the couch throw.

He sees me. I see him. His brow lifts in that signature amused tilt like he’s always catching me doing something I shouldn’t.

“Well, good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” The cockiness in his tone is back.

I grunt in response, too hungover to form words.

I roll my eyes, but can’t fight the heat crawling up my neck. “I need water,” I manage to mutter, brushing past him and shuffle toward the kitchen

He follows behind watching me with amused eyes, but there’s something else there. A pause. A shift.

“I gotta say,” he says slowly, “you really don’t know how to hide anything, do you?”

I blink at him, confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Seth leans against the counter, sipping his juice. “Your thoughts are all over your face. I can practically see you trying to figure out whether I’m a total douche or just a half-decent one.”

I shrug, grabbing a glass and filling it. “Maybe I’m reconsidering.”

He grins. “Progress.”

And then, unexpectedly, he steps closer.

I freeze, the glass half-raised to my lips.

“You know,” he says, voice quieter now, “you’re not bad to look at either. Kind of a shame you’re always acting like someone shoved a stick up your ass.”

I choke on my water, sputtering. “Jesus, Seth.”

He chuckles. “Just saying.”

There’s a pause. A weight in the air.

Then—god help me—I decide to play along.

I take a step closer, heart thudding hard in my chest. “Is that your way of flirting with me? Because if so, it’s terrible.”

He smirks, but something flickers in his eyes—interest. Real interest.

“Maybe,” he says, tilting his head. “Or maybe I’m just trying to figure out why someone with a girl like Tracey can’t get it up.”

My breath catches.

It feels like the room gets hotter instantly. “You—what?”

Seth gives me a look. “Don’t give me that look. You told me yourself .”

My mouth drops. “I—what?”

“You came home drunk last night, remember?” Seth leans back, clearly enjoying this. “Started talking to the kitchen counter. Something about how Tracey deserves better and how your ‘dick betrayed you in your hour of need.’”

“Oh my God.” Shame hits me like a sledgehammer. I pull back, heart twisting in my chest. “That’s none of your business.”

Seth raises both hands, palms out. “Relax. I’m not judging you. I’ve been there. Nerves mess people up. Especially the first time.”

That last sentence hits me square in the gut.

“Wait… you know?”

He raises a brow. “You’re a virgin, right?”

I open my mouth. Close it. Then curse under my breath. “You’re an asshole.” Had I also manage to gift him that information last night?

“Guilty.” He laughs. “But seriously, it’s not a big deal. I was too, once.”

“Yeah, and then you decided to become sex on legs for the rest of us to suffer through.”

Seth gives me a sly grin. “Took practice. You could always ask me for a few pointers.”

I blink. “You’re joking.”

He steps closer. “Am I?”

There’s barely a sliver of space between us. I’m pressed against the edge of the counter, and he’s standing in front of me with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

One wrong move and I’ll either headbutt him or kiss him.

I don’t know which is worse.

“You—you’re messing with me.” I stutter.

He shrugs. “Maybe. But I also think you’re curious.”

“I have a girlfriend.”

He leans in, lips dangerously close to my ear. “And yet you’re still hard from me being in your space.”

I gasp. Not because he’s right—but because his thigh brushes between mine, and suddenly, everything is very real.

My face burns.

“Fuck,” I mutter, stepping back and trying to hide the growing evidence in my boxers.

Seth laughs, backing off just enough to let me breathe. “Relax. I won’t bite—unless you ask.”

“You’re impossible.”

“You’re flustered.”

I grab the glass again, just to give my hands something to do. “This is not normal.” I wince afterwards realizing how I must sound to him.

“So?”

“So…” I try for another reason. “Tracey.”

Seth’s smile falters.

“What about her?”

I hesitate. There’s a million questions I want to ask starting with what the hell is going on between them. But I can’t bring myself to say it. I can’t look like the jealous boyfriend. I don’t even know if I’m jealous of Tracey or of him.

“Nothing,” I lie. “Forget it.”

Seth eyes me, but lets it slide. “Alright, virgin boy. Go take a shower. You smell like beer and shame.”

I flip him off and storm back to the room, but not before catching one last glance over my shoulder.

He’s still watching me.

And for the first time, I don’t hate it.

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  • More Than Roommates    Chapter 40: Morning

    Alex~I do not know how long we stay like that on the sidewalk, with the night air wrapping around us like a second skin. My face is pressed into his jacket, and it smells faintly of laundry soap and underneath is something warmer, that makes me want to hold my breath just to keep it in.The cold creeps into my fingers, but I do not move because I do not want to. Seth’s chin rests on the top of my head, and every time he exhales, the warmth of his breath slips through my hair. His arms stay locked around me like if he loosens them, I might slide apart right there on the concrete.When he finally pulls back, it is not much, just enough to see my face, his brows drawn like he is still bracing for whatever comes next.“You good?” he asks quietly.It is a stupid question and we both know it, but the way he says it makes it less about the answer and more about letting me choose whether to talk at all.“Yeah,” I lie. My voice does not even try to make it sound convincing.His mouth tilts i

  • More Than Roommates    Chapter 39: Presentation

    Alex~The rest of the presentations feel like background noise after mine. I sit through them, nodding when I am supposed to, pretending to listen while my mind keeps replaying the sound of the applause. How it had been hesitant at first, then stronger, how the professor’s voice had cut through the clapping with something that almost sounded like pride.But the other part of me keeps looping the sight of phones held up during my turn, tiny red dots blinking at me from the corners of the room. Recording, posting and sharing my words and my face already beyond my control.By the time class ends, my head is buzzing and my stomach feels tight, like i have just swallowed an elephant. I shove my stuff into my bag and slip out before anyone can try to talk to me, letting the chatter of the hallway drown me out.The air outside is brisk enough to sting and the cold is the kind that makes me tuck my chin down and walk faster towards home, warmth. I am halfway to the dorm when my phone starts

  • More Than Roommates    Chapter 38: Masculinity

    Alex~It’s the presentation day already and I am feeling super jittery.The room is already buzzing when I walk in. People are half-settled in their seats, chatting over the tops of laptops, chewing gum, shuffling slides. The projector hums quietly overhead, casting a faint glow over the front row. Jordan’s already there, naturally. He gives me a small nod, like we’re teammates passing the ball off mid-game, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to he already did the work. The editing, the stitching, the last-minute subtitle alignment. I’m just the one opening my mouth in front of thirty people.My mouth feels like it doesn’t belong to me and so does my arms. I clutch my bag too tightly and try not to look like I’m gripping it for stability. I finally sit down, watching the professor go through attendance with his usual half-hearted rhythm. His glasses keep slipping down his nose that he doesn’t bother fixing them anymore. I look down at my shaky hands, maybe I should’ve aske

  • More Than Roommates    Chapter 37: On top of the world

    Alex~To ‘cheer me up’ Seth invites me out, he doesn’t say where we’re going just glances at me from where he’s tying his boots, eyes flicking up beneath the curve of his lashes like he’s gauging if I’ll come willingly. Knowing he isn’t going to answer, I don’t ask, I just pull on my hoodie, even though the evening’s already warm, and follow him out.We don’t talk much as we cut across campus.As we walk, I feel like the weight between us has shifted again, it’s not exactly heavy. Just… full. I stay close to him as we walk, his hands brushes mine once, accidentally, but neither of us pulls away.By the time we cut through the side alley behind Leo’s building, I know where we’re headed.“Sneaky,” I murmur as he pulls out the key Leo left him ages ago. “Didn’t peg you for sentimental.”For some reason, despite knowing the past between him and Leo, I don’t even feel jealous.“Don’t give me too much credit,” he says, pushing the door open. “I just like the view.”We get in and climb up

  • More Than Roommates    Chapter 36: Closure

    Alex~I don’t expect the knock.It comes in the middle of a quiet Sunday afternoon where the clouds overhead are stilled and there’s barely a breeze outside, the clouds are the kind of gray that turns the dorm hallway into something hushed and suspended. Seth’s out running errands. I’m halfway through microwaving leftover rice, trying to force myself to eat something that isn’t dry cereal or cold Pop-Tarts.Then i hear it at the door two soft knocks, hesitant and careful.I pause with my hand on the microwave. I listen for a second, I just stand there, not moving, then I wipe my hands on a kitchen towel and head to the door, already assuming it’s someone from our floor who forgot their key card or another RA with a clipboard.Only when i open the door, it’s not either of these people, it’s Tracey.She’s wearing a green knit sweater I recognize, it’s one of the ones she used to wear on movie nights, the kind I once tugged off her shoulders with my teeth. Her hair’s down, her eyeliner

  • More Than Roommates    Chapter 35: Closer

    Alex~I wake up with the taste of his name still soft in my mouth and Seth’s arm slung low across his side of the bed he’s not touching me, but it’s close. I don’t know how the night ended exactly. At some point, his laugh had dissolved into sleep and I’d stayed awake, counting the rise and fall of his chest like it might explain something about my own.Outside, the morning filters in like it’s not sure it’s welcome. I blink into the low gray light and try to make peace with the ache in my chest not sadness just the weight of the incoming.Seth stirs, and I watch him blink himself awake slowly. His hair’s a mess and he stretches out on the bed, yawning like he owns the world then looks over at me and smiles.“Still here?” he asks, voice all scratchy and warm.I nod. “You snored.”He grins wider. “No, I did not.”“You did. Once just once and then you talked in your sleep.”“Oh no,” he groans, rubbing his face. “What did I say?”I hesitate, lips pulling into something between fond and

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