Chapter three: Bothered but not hot

Alex~

I’m half listening as the professor rambles on about digital user marketing and scrolls through his slides.

The other half of my mind is on my roommate, the guy who seemed larger than life. To proud to not get himself noticed whenever he is around. He seemed so deflated and weak this morning.

Like he had a million things on his mind and one of them was to cure world hunger. If I hadn’t witnessed him flirt with my girlfriend, maybe I’d have been able to summon some sort of pity for him but knowing that he knew Tracey in a way I didn’t, rubbed me off in the wrong way.

“You, on the striped shirt.”

Yikes, that is my ass the lecturer is referring to.

“I need you to recap on everything I’ve said so far and we can dismiss the class for today.”

With shaky hands, I point at myself but the lecturer shakes his head.

“It’s the guy behind you,” my seat mate mutters and I inhale an air of relief.

The other guy in the class with a striped shirt gets to his feet and delivers and excellent recap that has all my mates clapping while I try so hard to understand what had been thought.

Great, so I just missed out on a weeks worth of education because I was day dreaming about my sad roommate.

True to his word, the lecturer dismisses is when the dude is done. It’s when everyone begins to fill out of the class hastily that I remember I hadn’t even put my shut together because Seth was still occupying a portion of my brain.

“Just great,” I mutter aloud stuffing my bags with the books praying they don’t get dog ears because I don’t have the luxury of time to put them neatly in the bag.

My next class is quite a distance from my last one and so I’m running to meet up and at least arrive before the lecturer and avoid any embarrassments.

Unfortunately, as I approach the last turn before the classrooms door, I watch the lecturer stride in.

I slow down to a walk and get to the door, everyone inside is already seated and staring at me, the late comer.

Although, the lecturer doesn’t speak, I feel the judgement from his eyes as I climb up and slide into the only empty seat that doesn’t require me to walk half a mile.

“I can’t believe you willingly sat next to me when I can easily molest you from here,” Seth muttered in my ear.

I gasp so out of control and earn a hard glare from the Professor. I shoot him an apologetic look and tried to calm my racing heart. Had I conjured Seth up with my thoughts?

I struggle to focus through the rest of the class and leave for the library once the period is up only to return home that evening to find my girlfriend in bed with a man-slut.

“Babe,” Tracey says, voice tinged with amusement as I snatch the controller from her.

“Nice to see you too.

“Babe,” Tracey whines as I jerk the controller out of her hold. I had no idea she was coming over today and I had spent a lot of time at the library trying to catch up on the topic I had gravely missed out on this morning.

“Why on earth didn’t you say you were coming?”

I don’t answer. I’m still trying to process why she’s here with him when I wasn’t around.

God knows the guy looked like sex on a stick and God also knows Tracey and my relationship was lacking in the sex area, not for lack of trying on her part. I just don’t feel ready yet.

“Get your ass off this couch,” I say harsher than I intended. Grumbling, she gets off the coach depositing her ass on another chair.

“What’s good bro?”

“Bro? I’m fine Seth, a little pissed that my girlfriend didn’t think it was important to call me that she was coming. Have you even had something to eat?”

She waves over to a glass bowl half filled with popcorn and soda on the center table.

“You made popcorn,” I say flatly, eyeing the bowl.

“Seth did.” She shrugs, but her voice is quieter now. “He thought you’d be mad.”

Tracey pulls her knees up onto the couch. “We were literally playing video games. You sound jealous.”

I scoff, more at myself than her. I can’t explain this unease. Not without sounding crazy.

“Excellent.” I say settling down to take over from where she’d stopped. Seth chooses the to drop his controller.

“Dude what…”

“Trace, I thought you had a party to attend? It’s ten fifteen pm already.”

Trace was going to a party? With him?

“What party?”

“I said I was going to tell you. The girls invited me for a party. I was hoping you’d be down.”

Out of the corner of my eyes I could see Seth’s face turned to face me.

“I think I am down. What’s the party about?”

“Having fun Alex. It’s about having fun and letting loose.”

A well of embarrassment swallows me. I rise to my feet tossing the controller on the couch.

“I should get changed for the party, are you going like that?”

“Yeah, I am. Hurry up, we don’t have all night.”

…

“Alex, Alex Alex,” Tracey singsongs when she finally peels away from my lips to open up her dorm.

My hands hover over her soft pert butt and for lack of purpose, I give it a squeeze. She chuckles at my actions and pushes the door open.

Both of us stumble into the room and fumble to get the door shut behind us.

“Alex, Alex, Alex,” she sings again, her voice trembling with excitement. Both of us are a bit tipsy but while she’s filled with excitement. I feel nervous.

She gives me a chaste kiss and begins to unbutton my shirt. My hands hang by my side limply adding to my awkwardness. Great, now she’d know that I haven’t done anything at all.

Seeming to understand my predicament, she picks up my hands and places them on her breast urging me gently to give them a squeeze.

They’re soft and spill out of my hand but I am not deterred. I give them another firm squeeze and she moans undoing the last button.

Her hands fly to the waist band of my pants and undo the tie, tugging it down as she goes down. My hands leave her chest and settle above her head when she falls to her knees.

My breath stutters. Not from excitement, from panic.

I try to focus on the feel of her warm skin, soft breath, her lips pressed to mine. But I’m not here. My body isn’t responding, and my head won’t shut up.

She wants this. I should want this.

She kisses my dick through my trouser and I groan, half embarrassed to have a girl down there and all in my business.

She cups me through my briefs and rubs me softly trying to give me an erection but my dick feels dead. My nerves are getting the better part of me making me remain flaccid in her hands, not exactly a confidence booster of either of us.

I swallow hard, shame rising in my throat like bile. What’s wrong with me?

I lean down and pull her up pressing my lips to hers quickly so I don’t have to look her in the eye.

“I should probably go,” I mumble, leaning in to sloppily kiss her neck to avoid eye contact. To say I’m embarrassed by my lack of performance would be an understatement.

She shivers in my arms and nods pulling my head up for one last kiss.

“Alright. But next time you come over, we’re having sex,” she says and I shrug.

“Whatever you say babe.”

She doesn’t push, and I’m grateful.

But she pulls away, the only thing I feel is relief.

I lean in for one last kiss and pull out my phone to get an uber. I’m too out of it to actually walk back my apartment. I make it back somehow.