More time

Kacie

I throw my head back and cry. The metallic taste of Jake’s blood drips into my mouth. Everything wrong is right and everything right is wrong. I don’t know up from down and down from up. The one thing I know to be true is that Jake is dead. He’s gone and he’s not coming back. My soul mourns, my heart breaks, and my mind denies it. But there’s no denying what I see in front of me.

I feel it in my soul, in my belly, and I wonder how I’ll be able to keep going without him. We had so much to say, so much to talk about. We didn’t have enough time, there hadn’t been enough time. We only just made up, we didn’t even get to tell him that we loved him as much as we loved each other. I didn’t get to say sorry for what I’d said when I was angry. I didn’t get the chance to say I didn’t mean any of it. I didn’t get to tell him that I didn’t care who biologically fathered the child because they would both be it’s dad. There was still so many things I needed to do with him. I thought I had mor