Chapter 10 - It Was Like He Slapped Me

But nothing would always be lovey-dovey, wouldn't it?

I remember that it was around ten days before the party. I wanted to surprise Rai by giving him a present. As a girl, I needed advice from a guy on what to give Rai. So, I decided to entrust the task to my cousin, Frank, since Damian was unavailable.

Frank was younger than me, just like Rai and Damian. He had that boyish charm, drawing everyone to his friendliness. Some would say that he was handsome but never compared his handsomeness to Rai or Damian. They were all attractive, just different types of handsomeness.

I was very close to Frank; he was like a younger brother to me. Although, since he was way taller than me, and seeing how close we were, some people who didn’t know we were cousins might think that he was my boyfriend.

Frank liked to put his arm around me whenever we walked together, and he always made me laugh, just like Damian.

So on that day, we were walking around laughing and having a good time. We went to some shops to get the best present I could give Rai.

I found what I thought would be a great present in the fourth store. They were cufflinks with the initials R and K, Rai and Katarina. For me, it was the perfect gift for Rai to wear to the party. I was happy, thinking there would be a part of me with him every time he attended a party. Frank agreed with me too. It was simple yet meaningful.

As Frank and I were walking toward the parking lot, I saw Damian and Rai. I was just about to call for them when I noticed something was wrong with Rai. He strode toward us so fast, and suddenly ‘SMACK!’ Rai landed a punch on Frank.

I was aghast.

“Rai! What did you just do?” I went to Frank to check if he was alright. But before I could reach Frank, Rai pulled me forcefully, dragging me away from Frank.

“Rai, Stop it! You are hurting me!” I protested as I tried my hardest to pull my hand away. But his grip was so strong that it was impossible for me to get away.

He stopped in his track and looked at me coldly.

“And you think that I’m not hurting? That you are not hurting me?” His voice was so icy that it shocked me. He turned toward his car, dragging me along with him without me being able to do anything except follow him.

I looked back and saw that Damian was with Frank, and I was relieved, albeit confused.

I was lost. I didn’t know what had happened. When we reached his car, Rai opened the car’s door for me and said, “Get in,” coldly.

At that moment, I became mad at him.

“No. I’m not going to get in till you tell me what just happened.” I matched his cold voice.

“I. Said. Get. In. NOW!” He said in a slow, menacing voice, emphasizing each word, and half-shouted the last word.

I was scared and quickly got in and slammed the door as hard as I could. Many thoughts circled my mind. What happened? Why was he furious at me? Why did he punch Frank? Why was he so cold? Why did he hurt me? What did I do wrong? And where was the warm Rai that I knew? My mind nearly exploded with all the thoughts.

The drive home was filled with stone-cold silence. Rai kept hitting the steering wheel, and I was so scared of him. Is this the real Rai? What if he hit me? Every time he hit the steering wheel, I flinched. I stayed as quiet as possible, angry yet frightened, but he didn't seem to notice.

Pulling onto the driveway, Rai opened his door, slammed it shut before opening my door, and took my hand forcefully, again dragging me toward his room and slamming the door shut.

“How could you?!” I half-shouted, folded my hands, and glared at him when we reached his room.

Rai didn't reply straight away. Instead, he poured himself a drink, downed it, and slammed the glass onto the desk. I could see that he was fuming; his body was quivering with rage.

He turned around and shouted back, “How could I?! How could I?!” His body shook from his rage.

“YES!! How could you punch Frank when he did nothing to you?!” I shouted back at him.

“So it’s Frank, huh?! You even dare to defend him now.” He snarled.

“How many Franks are there?” He looked at me with fury.

“I don't know what you mean.” I matched his glare.

“Oh, you know full well what I meant. HOW MANY OTHER MEN ARE THERE?!” He roared, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

I gaped at him. How could he think that I have any other men besides him?

“So now you couldn’t talk, huh?” He asked sarcastically.

“How many?!” He slammed his fist on the desk.

I jumped at the sound but managed to reply, “None,” coldly.

He laughed sarcastically.

“So you are saying that it wasn’t you whom I saw walking around with some random guy hugging you? Wrapping his arm around you and laughing freely like some pathetic couple? How many other men do you have on the side? Ten? Twenty?” He asked me with his jaw clenched.

I couldn’t believe my ears. He thought I was in a relationship with other men? Oh, God. How could he not trust me after all the time we had spent together? I started to feel sick. I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to break down, but I was raging too.

“Did it ever occur to you to ask me who it was, Rai? Or what I was doing with him? Or you simply concluded that I was a slut?” I asked coldly.

“I don't have to ask; I know what I saw. So yeah, maybe you are a slut for all I know.” He said harshly.

That moment I slapped Rai so hard that my hand stung. He was stunned. I tried hitting him again, but he caught my hand.

“You!” He glared.

“What? You going to hit me, Rai?” I said while trying hard not to break down.

Rai dropped my hand, took a drink then threw the glass to the wall, smashing it into pieces.

“Get out!! YOU SICKENED ME!!” He shouted furiously.

I was shocked; I was frightened by what had just happened. But the worst part was his words. It broke me. I didn’t want to be near him anymore.

I picked up the present that I bought for him, threw it on the bed, and said, “Frank is my cousin, and he was helping me to choose something for you. I wanted you to have something to at least remember this slut by, so go figure.” My voice broke as I explained to him.

I ran away from the room before I broke down completely.

I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I found a guest room as far away from Rai’s as possible. I sat on the floor, hugging my knees and letting myself cry. I cried and cried, thinking how Rai could have said those words to me.

Was everything all these times a lie? Did Rai not love me? My heart broke into pieces. It hurt so much.

Rai, I love you, but why were you so cruel? Why didn’t you trust me? I sobbed until my body shook so much. I didn't know how long I cried until Damian found me.

“Here you are, Kat. How are you feeling?” He sat down next to me.

I kept my head down and shook my head.

“Come on, Kat. I don’t condone what he did, but you must understand Rai’s reaction. If the situation was reversed, you might feel the same.” Damian tried to make me understand.

“No, Damian. I wouldn’t just get to the wrong conclusions as he did. I would have asked for explanations, and I would never say that he sickened me. He doesn’t love me, Damian. You should have seen him, how he looked at me. It was like he was disgusted by me and called me a slut, Damian.” A sob escaped me again.

Damian sighed. He put his arm around me, his thumb stroking my shoulder.

“You know what, Kat. I don’t know whether you guys have talked about this, but let me tell you a little secret about Rai. You are his first, first of everything. So, sometimes he might not know what he was feeling or how to handle them. Like today, he saw you with a tall, attractive guy, and he had his arm around you. At that time, Rai was feeling full of raging jealousy; he couldn’t think straight. It was his first time feeling jealous, so he didn’t know how to control that emotion. His first instinct was to hurt the man who touched his lady. Surely you can understand that.” He said softly.

"But he shouldn't have said I sickened him or worse, a slut. It was like he slapped me. It hurts so much; my heart is breaking.” I cried again.

Damian stayed quiet while soothing me. He noticed the scissor on the floor and saw that my wrist was bleeding. He took my hand carefully and saw that I had cut myself a few times.

“Kat, what did you do?” He looked at me, horrified.

“Bipolar,” I said weakly.

“Still, you shouldn’t have done that. Do they hurt The cuts?” He looked at me with worry in his eyes.

“No...” I shook my head.

“They are not deep; I just hurt myself, so I don’t have to feel the heartache,” I explained to him.

“Does it really help?” He asked.

“Not this time, no.” I shook my head again.

“Then please don’t do it again, Kat. I’m here for you. You can always come to me whenever you are sad. Just don’t do it anymore. Please, Kat?” He looked at me with concern.

I just nodded without promising him. I knew I couldn’t promise him that because of my bipolar.

“What about this? Did Rai hurt you? Was he the one who caused this?” He suddenly asked me while taking my other hand in his.