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My Awakening — The Alpha’s Regret and Pain
My Awakening — The Alpha’s Regret and Pain
Author: Candy A

Chapter 1

Author: Candy A
“Have you learned your mistake, Elara?”

My husband—Jonathan, Alpha of Blackwood—leveled a frigid threat at me. “Will you dare harm Isabella again?”

At this moment, my eighteen-year-old brother, Alex, had been knocked unconscious and hung over the most treacherous cliff in Blackwood Territory. Jonathan threatened to throw him off because his first love, Isabella, accused me of ramming her with my car.

I lunged forward like a madwoman, but the guards pinned me back.

“I didn’t hit her!” I struggled through tears. “Jonathan, let my brother go! He’s only eighteen—he has just been admitted to the Wolfs Bane Academy!”

My five-year-old pup, Leo, crossed his arms. His frosty little face mirrored his father’s. “The evidence is conclusive. And you’re still lying.”

Four-year-old Finn nodded his head, his voice carrying that naïve, cub-like cruelty. “Mom, if you were scared Uncle Alex would die, you shouldn’t have hurt Aunt Isabella. She’s our precious treasure.”

My heart clenched.

Isabella is your treasure. What about me? I’m your mother—Blackwood’s Luna. Who am I supposed to be?

I looked to Jonathan, hoping he’d remember the bond between us and let Alex go.

But my Alpha stared back with only indifference, as if I were a stranger trespassing on Blackwood Pack land.

I laughed then—bitterly—and the tears came with it.

So after all these years, his heart still belonged only to Isabella.

Memories clawed through my chest.

Jonathan, Isabella, and I grew up together in Blackwood Territory.

I loved Jonathan, but his eyes held only Isabella. I had to bury my feelings; even helped him pursue her.

On the eve of his confession, the plane Isabella took vanished over the ocean. No remains were ever found.

After that, Jonathan broke down. His wolf raged in grief. It was me who stayed by his side, taking care of him when he was drunk and unconscious, and comforting him when he lost control due to mania

One night, reeking of alcohol, he grabbed my wrist, whispered “Isabella,” and marked me.

I could have pushed him away. But I loved him too much—enough to be a stand-in, a shadow.

In the morning, he stared at the temporary mark at the back of my neck for a long time. Finally, he sighed. “I’ll take responsibility. Let’s formalize the bond.”

We married, and I became Blackwood’s Luna.

I fought to learn how to be a good Mate. When politics consumed him, I handled Pack relations; when he parleyed with other Alphas, I stood at his side. Slowly, his eyes seemed to soften. He remembered my favorite foods. When I was exhausted, he let me rest in his fur.

Later, we had Leo and Finn.

Those five years were the closest I ever came to happiness. I thought I’d finally entered his world.

Until—

Isabella “rise from the dead” and returned to Blackwood.

In that instant, I saw a blaze light up in Jonathan’s eyes—bright enough to devour me whole.

Worse, Leo and Finn—my own pups—rushed to her side.

“Aunt Isabella tells better stories than Mom!”

“Aunt Isabella hunts and plays with us. Mom just makes us practice skills.”

“Father, can Aunt Isabella be our Luna?”

Every time, Jonathan merely glanced at me, mussed their hair, and said, “Don’t talk nonsense.”

He never denied it.

I became an outsider watching the five years I’d stolen crumble to dust the moment Isabella returned.

And now, they were using an ancient, brutal Pack law to force me to admit to a crime I didn’t commit.

“It wasn’t me!” I tore free from the memory, my voice shaking. “Jonathan—let him go!”

His eyes were winter-cold. “If you’re so stubborn, then feel what it feels like to lose love forever.”

He raised his hand. The sentries slashed the rope.

“No—!”

I watched Alex drop, swallowed by the fog beneath the cliff.

I lunged forward, wild with terror, but the guards crushed me down. My scream tore me apart. “Jonathan! You killed him! You killed him!”

Agony clenched my throat; I coughed a mouthful of blood.

Leo glanced over, impatient. “Enough, Mother. It was just a dummy. Why are you being so dramatic?”

Finn huffed. “Yeah. We only wanted to scare you. That’s what you get for hurting Aunt Isabella first.”

My strength fled; I collapsed on the frozen ground, heartbeat stuttering.

Jonathan strode closer, looming above me like an Alpha judging a delinquent packmate. “Remember this feeling. Isabella’s return is a blessing from the Moon Goddess. I will not allow you to drive her out again.”

He paused, as if to show me a mercy. “I know you are unease. I am your Mate; I will fulfill my responsibilities. I won’t dissolve our bond. So, stop trying to expel Isabella.”

He didn’t know I’d already contacted the Pack’s attorney to begin dissolving our mating bond.

This Alpha whose heart would always tilt toward Isabella, these pups who held no respect for me—I wanted neither.

I opened my mouth to speak when his phone rang.

“Isabella?” He answered, voice turning tender with a care I’d never been given. “Still hurting? I’ll come right now.”

He hung up and left with Leo and Finn without another glance.

I knelt alone in the dust.

The wind at the cliff’s edge cut like knives. I crawled to the precipice and stared into the rolling fog. A chill of dread slid down my spine.

My phone lit up.

A message from Isabella: “Is your brother okay? I think I forgot to tell them to swap your brother for the dummy.”

The blood in my veins flipped to ice.

The one who fell wasn’t a dummy. It was Alex.

I stumbled along the switchbacks, slipping again and again on the jagged rock, skin tearing across my arms and knees. I don’t know how long it took, only that I crawled, fell, and bled my way to the bottom.

Among broken stone and dead branches, I found him.

Alex lay twisted like a shattered doll, a dark halo of blood spreading beneath him. A breath—just one—still moved his chest. His eyes fought to widen when he saw me. His lips opened, yet no sound emerging.

“Alex… Alex! Hold on. I’m here. I’ll get you out—I’ll take you home…” My tears spattered his cold cheeks as I pressed my hands to his wounds that wouldn’t stop bleeding.

I tore off the fabric to stop the bleeding for him, then hauled him onto my back, staggering, crawling, searching for a way out. I didn’t know the direction. I only knew I needed a doctor.

Finally, a road. I flagged down a car, begging incoherently, “Hospital… please… hurry…”

In the hospital corridor, I carried Alex into the ER, but the nurse balked. “Mrs. Blackwood, Alpha Jonathan has ordered all medical staff to prioritize Miss Isabella. No one is available to operate on your brother right now…”

Shaking, I called Jonathan.

“Jonathan, please—rescind the order! Save Alex! He’s the one who went off that cliff! He’s dying!”

On the other end, a flicker of confusion—then his voice hardened. “Elara, that was a dummy. Do you have persecutory delusion?”

In the background, Leo and Finn complained.

“Mother’s doing this again.”

“Dad, ignore her. Aunt Isabella is waiting.”

He hung up.

I knelt on the cold floor, pleading with every passerby. They recoiled in fear.

By the time a doctor finally agreed to “take a quick look,” Alex’s body had already gone still.

“Alex… Alex!”

I clutched my brother’s cooling body as my hoarse sobs echoed down the empty hall.

He was gone.

Killed by the command of the man I loved, by Isabella’s machinations, and by the indifference of my own pups.

Three days later, at the cemetery.

I stood before my brother’s tombstone, my face bloodless.

I’d moved like a ghost through the funeral arrangements.

Jonathan and the pups never came.

On Isabella’s social media, the latest post showed Jonathan feeding her soup, captioned: “He insists on taking care of me himself. What am I going to do with him ?”

Underneath, Leo and Finn replied:

[Aunt Isabella, get well soon! Take us hunting!]

[We love you most!]

I turned off my phone. The last ember in my eyes went cold, leaving ash.

I walked out of the cemetery and did only two things.

First, I called my lawyer and formally filed to dissolve the mating bond.

Second, I walked into the headquarters of the Silver Order Hunters Organization—and told the receptionist, “Hello. I’m Elara Blackwood. I accuse Isabella Reed of murder. I’m prepared to give everything I know, charging my entire Pack.”
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  • My Awakening — The Alpha’s Regret and Pain   Chapter 11

    I returned to a land I had once called home and now felt only strange. The Blackwood manor walls still loomed. Servants moved through the corridors. Time here looked frozen.Quick footsteps drummed—Leo and Finn flew down the stairs toward me, the pups I had once loved more than life.“Mom!”“Mom! Now that you’re back… are you staying? Before… it was our fault. Mother, I love you…”Finn. His voice was shredded and hoarse, a dull knife sawing at my chest. I saw the scars on their small bodies, not yet healed.Pain? Perhaps. But I had already chosen to leave—not just their father, but the two pups who had once scooped out my heart with their own hands.At their cries, I only dipped my chin. No extra words. In a few syllables and a look, they read the truth; their eyes went red.“Mom… are you really… not going to want us anymore?” Leo’s voice held the whimper of an abandoned cub.I looked at them and felt nothing but stillness. I was about to speak when Jonathan cut in, too quickly.“Don’t

  • My Awakening — The Alpha’s Regret and Pain   Chapter 10

    Elara’s POVBy the time Beta Kael reached me, I was already in a neutral city far from the old werewolf powers.It was a mix of packs here; no one cared if I’d been a Luna or a runaway. The first days were numb and hollow. Alex’s death and Jonathan’s cold eyes clawed me awake at night. But I knew dwelling in the past would be my deepest betrayal of myself.My years as Blackwood’s Luna—brokering inside and outside the pack, temporarily running affairs when Jonathan was overrun—those “mate’s duties” became my capital now. With a deep grasp of how wolf packs operate and a hard edge honed under Jonathan’s indifference, I quickly found a place at a cross-pack consultancy.I wasn’t an appendage anymore. People listened when I spoke. My competence brought respect and an income of my own. I used my first paycheck to buy Alex a permanent, peaceful grave.I soon had a little house of my own. Small, but the windows faced sunrise. I didn’t have to wait for anyone or guess at anyone’s heart.The hu

  • My Awakening — The Alpha’s Regret and Pain   Chapter 9

    The next morning, I headed straight to Pack headquarters to push the search for Elara.Kael didn’t bring news of her. Instead, he set down proof of Alex’s death. The sound tore through me like thunder.“Time of death: approximately one month ago.”One month ago—the day I ordered Alex “the dummy” pushed off the cliff. Elara’s keening at the precipice, her accusation that Isabella had switched the bodies—none of it had been theater. It was raw truth. I actually became an accomplice in the death of her younger brother!“Alpha,” Kael’s voice dragged me back, “we also found evidence Miss Reed abused the young masters.”The recording froze my blood—Isabella, the woman I had defended at all costs, scalding my sons with boiling things where I couldn’t see. Last night, I’d believed her lies and locked Leo and Finn away for “reflect.”A shrill ring sliced the air—the academy mentor asking why the boys were absent.They didn’t go to school at all.Panic seized me. “Back to the manor. Now!” I tore

  • My Awakening — The Alpha’s Regret and Pain   Chapter 8

    Jonathan’s POVThree days later, when Isabella and I brought the pups home from a short training session, a strange hush met us at the Blackwood manor. At this hour, Elara would usually have the hearth lit, the air steeped in the aroma of a carefully prepared supper. Now, there were only cold stone walls and a silent hall.“Mom! We’re starving!” Leo shouted up the stairs out of habit. Finn chimed in, “Hurry and cook!”No answer. Their young voices rang around the empty space, jarringly loud.My heart stuttered. My eyes swept the room and froze on the stone coffee table—two parchment documents lay neatly there beside a familiar note.When I recognized the dissolution of the mating bond, my whole body went numb. The embossed seal of effect caught the candlelight with merciless authority. Elara’s fine script was a blade to my chest: [I’m gone. Don’t look for me. I have abandoned you all.]“This is impossible…” I stroked a shaking finger over my signature. I ransacked my memory and finall

  • My Awakening — The Alpha’s Regret and Pain   Chapter 7

    On the third evening, Jonathan returned with the two pups.As soon as he entered, he did something rare—he explained first. “Isabella is uniquely sensitive to pain. It’s a medical condition. That’s why we took her in first…”Leo muttered, “Yeah. Mother, you’re stronger and tougher. You don’t need us to fuss…”Finn nodded. “Aunt Isabella is too fragile. She needs us to protect her all the time.”“Enough.” My voice was calm, devoid of even a ripple. “No need to explain.”I knew too well.All explanations boil down to this: they love Isabella. They don’t love me.Once, that realization would have carved me open. Now it didn’t.Because my heart no longer beat for them.My composure unsettled Jonathan. A faint panic flickered in his eyes. He searched for a way to make it right, but still spoke with his habitual imperiousness. “There’s a meteor shower over Silver Fall Range tonight. I’ll take you up to see it.”“No.”“Don’t be difficult.” He glanced at the pups. “Help your mother change into

  • My Awakening — The Alpha’s Regret and Pain   Chapter 6

    A scream pealed from the dining room. A servant sprinted in, pale. “Alpha! Miss Reed was splashed by freshly boiled wolfsbane tonic!”Jonathan froze mid-motion.“Was it serious?” His voice was sharp.“Her… the back of her hand is red—”Before the servant finished, Jonathan shot to his feet. “Elara, call the pack healer yourself. We have to take Isabella right now!”The two pups instantly let go of me. “Mother, figure it out yourself!”I lifted a trembling hand as my vision flooded with blood. All I could do was watch the three of them rush away without a backward glance, carefully supporting Isabella as they disappeared.Warm liquid slid down my temple. With what little strength I had left, I thumbed the emergency dial.“Help…”The call connected as the world went black.When I woke again, the room was, once more, empty.A nurse came in to change my bandage. Seeing my eyes open, she sighed quietly. “Alpha and the pups are in the VIP suite next door with Miss Reed.” She hesitated, unabl

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