Chapter 4

Laura's POV.

I woke up suddenly, my body jerking like I had fallen from somewhere high.

For a few seconds, I just laid there, staring at the ceiling. My heart raced for no clear reason, the room felt unfamiliar to me but not enough to scare me, yet my body felt wrong.

It felt heavy and used. I felt sore in places that made my stomach twist with embarrassment, and I felt self conscious.

I shifted slightly and felt the warmth beside me. Zara was still asleep next to me, her back was turned against me and she was breathing slow and steady. 

That alone should have calmed me, but it didn't. Instead, memories rushed in all at once.

My brain flashed in a jiffy and I remembered last night. Hands and lips, a low voice against my ears. The way my body had responded without hesitation. The way I had wanted more even when I knew I shouldn't, it all felt real to me.

I swallowed hard and pulled the duvet higher, suddenly aware of my own body. But I had slept over at Zara's place more times than I could count since we became friends in college. In all those years, I had never seen a man stay here. I had never heard footsteps. I had never heard knocks in the middle of the night. 

Zara lived alone. That was how much I knew.

So why did my body feel like this?

I turned slightly, my body aching in a way that made my facial expression look painful. Every small movement reminded me that what happened last night was not imaginary.

 I opened my mouth to wake Zara, to ask her what happened, to ask her if I had said something stupid or done something worse.

I heard a knock on the door and I froze. My eyes snapped back to Zara. She didn't move, she was still asleep.

Another knock followed. But this time around it was firmer and my heart skipped a beat.

“Zara” I whispered urgently, shaking her arm. “Someone's at the door.”

She groaned softly but didn't wake up. Then the knock came again.

I pushed myself out of bed, my legs shaky as I wrapped the duvet around my body and walked towards the door. My head felt light, and my thoughts were scattered.

Who knocks this early?

I unlocked the door and pulled it open. And in that moment it felt as though my world had rotated in its axis.

The same man from last night stood there in front of me. And I screamed loudly even before I could stop myself.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later that morning, I sat stiffly at the dining table, barely touching the glass of water in front of me. 

Zara stood across from a man I now recognized far too well.

“Dad?” she said again, disbelief all over her face. “You didn't tell me you were coming. When did you arrive?”

“Last night.” he replied easily, smiling at her. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“You've been away for years,” she said, moving closer, touching his arm like she needed to be sure he was real. “You couldn't even tell me?”

“I wanted to surprise my little girl. Work finally moved me back to New York. I'm here for good.” he said warmly, pulling her into a hug. 

And she hugged him tightly, laughing and crying at the same time. “Dad. I have missed you so much. At least you would have told me, but this surprise you have given to me is just so memorable.” 

I sat there, numb.

Dad.

The word echoed in my head like a gunshot.

Zara finally turned to me, smiling. “Laura, this is my dad. Lucas.”

My chest sucked in. Lucas. The name settled in my chest like poison.

He really looked at me, and something unreadable passed through his eyes.

“Hi Laura. Nice to meet you properly.” he said calmly.

Properly. I felt sick.

I forced a nod, my throat too tight to speak.

As Zara continued talking excitingly, all I could think was one thing.

The man I thought existed only in my drunken haze.

The man whose touch still burned on my skin.

Was my best friend's father.

And I had crossed a line I could never uncross.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I went back into Zara's room, and I stayed there longer than necessary, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring at nothing. 

My body still felt warm and too aware. It hadn't caught up with reality yet. The alcohol still lingered inside of me but it was fading away.

I rubbed my palms against my thighs, trying to steady myself, and trying to remind myself where I was.

Zara tried over and over again to pull me downstairs. She knocked on the door and I refused to open up. She sent messages, which I didn't reply to. 

She wanted me to come downstairs and have breakfast with her and Lucas, then we could talk about a lot of things.

She called my name through the door like I was hiding from a harmless guest, instead of the man whose hands my body still remembered too clearly.

I stared at the wall, replaying everything I wished I could erase. How was I supposed to sit across from him on the table and chit chat?

How was I supposed to pretend that my body hadn't learned his rhythm?. Zara didn't understand why I was suddenly distant. To her, this was simple, her best friend and her father having breakfast together. It was normal to her but to me it was impossible.

When the morning was almost coming to an end, she tried one last time by standing near the door and speaking with a soft tone. 

“Laura it won't be weird unless you make it weird.” she said gently and I swallowed hard, my voice barely put together when I answered back.

“i just need to rest Zara. I told you I have a bad headache and I still feel tipsy.”

“Okay. I won't force you.” she said and her footsteps faded away.

I laid back on the bed, my eyes burning, chest tight with a truth I didn't know how to survive.

How was I ever supposed to tell my best friend that I had a one-night stand with her father?

And worst of it all…… what if I never could?