And that's it.. something seemed to change as if someone had snapped their thumbs, and then everything changed.My heart is free, like I really found freedom even though I was in his cage. My feelings feel like the rolling waves that continuously sweep the coast with a strong force. Like water that falls freely from a cliff and will not stop. A lot of nonsense goes through my head and I love it.And like a road deprived of hormones, I'm always receptive to whatever he does, craving his touch and all the attention. His love, and the affection he gave. I tried to repay him by giving my love to him in the form of action.I sat on his lap, his hands playing with my hair, while we watched the political debate on CNN. I couldn't even pretend to notice for a second with the hardness his butt pressed against me. Part of me knows what he's doing by denying me. I don't like it. Because it makes my chest feel tight and heavy.And that makes me nervous.And like a humiliating bitch, my lips went
My hand was pulled, into the bedroom area, and I'm still crying. My chest feels tight, and my head is throbbing in pain."Bastard! Fuck you! You're such an asshole" I screamed at him as soon as we got to the room. Rhysand tries to calm me down, taking me in his arms. But I rebelled, pushing him away."Amanda.. what's wrong? Tell me.""I am pregnant." I screamed hysterically. "You really are crazy. You got me pregnant? To trap me up again, to tie me up even more?! Are you dissatisfied at all? Depressing me like this?" I'm out of breath. "I tried to believe in you and trust you. Trying to live through this, dealing with all of this in a good way, not like this! But you tore it down! You made it into a weapon. You made this baby into your weapon!""Amanda, no. Listen.""Get me out of here. Let me go! Or I will kill this baby." My head is so filled withHis mask fell off, panic came over his expression. "No! God, don't do that. For God's sake! Don't kill them. They are not a mistake." he
I spent time in Prague lazing around and spoiling with Rhysand. I don't know what happened to me, but I really couldn't stay away from him. I always want him near me, hugging me or stroking my stomach.Something expands inside me.I am happy.Never before have I felt something like this when I looked at my stomach which was starting to show a small bulge. If previously it was only filled with fat, now it was filled with two lives. Babyboy and babygirl.My heart expanded until I was afraid that it would explode. I rubbed my stomach gently and smiled. My insides screamed with so much happiness, and I could have spent all my time staring at my stomach without doing anything. I read the guide for pregnant women, and how I shouldn't be stressed and depressed. I probably won't feel that anymore. Everything was gone when I rubbed my stomach or looked at it.This is a boon for me.A turning point that would change me completely."Forgive Mommy for what Mommy said earlier." I talked to the two
Husband and wife.I never thought that I would experience it so quickly. I didn't expect that my status had changed in two days. So short, and fast.A mother and a wife.My heart expands with happiness as I pull off this elaborate dress with Jade's help.He walked into the bedroom, and that was it.. it felt different and not different. He sat on the edge of the bed. He looked at me, with heat in his eyes, and a bright light in them. I drew closer to him. Stop, and stand between his legs. He hugged my waist, kissing my stomach that was under his shirt that I was wearing. I love wearing his t-shirt, I love his signature scent that never goes away, and it always makes me feel comfortable."I should take off your dress, Wife." he said.His other calls made me smile. Happiness exploded in my heart. "The dress is quite beautiful, and expensive. I will not let you mess it, husband."He looked up, his smile bright."Are you happy?" I stroked his face.He nodded. "Very happy."I sat astride hi
My blood rushed under my skin when I saw him.And those same green eyes as mine are adrift with me.His expression hardened, and he started walking towards me. I froze, not knowing what to do with his sudden presence."Are you all right, Amanda?"I shook my head.My heartbeat slowed down when my older brother had stopped right in front of me. That familiar musk scent came to my nose. His face hardened, and underneath it was the longing he had for me."Maven.""Amanda..." he said harshly. "You have no idea how much we flustered looking for you? How long we waited to meet you.""I'm fine." I said. I looked at Jade who was looking at us in confusion. "We'll talk for a bit. You don't need to worry, he's my brother."I know Jade already knows, but I just wanted to let her know that so there's no understanding at all. Jade nodded, and then left us.Maven catches the eye, and leads me to the other end of the room. Close to the exit."I'm fine. You don't need to worry, Maven." I gulped. "I'm
I don't trust other people.They are fickle, prone to errors, and don't know what they are doing often.They are useless, tasteless, and should not pollute the air with their breath. The disdain I have for these people has been ingrained in me ever since I grew up from the small child phase and gradually discovered what the world is all about.I don't believe in the chance system either. People don't get two or three chances with me. One mistake and they're out.Forever.Anyone who crossed the line once would do it again if given the chance. It's the forbidden fruit, the gratification deferred, and the glorification sought. If they get one taste, they will be compelled to taste another.Then another. And one more.Until they are reduced to animals pursuing their basic needs.Giving them the chance to get close to the line, let alone cross it, is the personification of stupidity.My zero-tolerance policy might describe me as cold-blooded and heartless, but it was better than being labe
I realized that I was twenty-two years old, and I had graduated from a business school in New York.It's really an extraordinary thing, and on the other hand it's so annoying.I wanted to grow up, to be able to do something wild, to have more power for it, to be free and then to die with satisfaction. On the other hand I realized that I would never be free from anything. There is a great responsibility that is tightly tied around my neck, and there are many hopes that rest on my shoulders.My grandfather from my father side, and my grandfather from my mother side—they all expected me to become the successor to the business empire they had worked so hard to build themselves.I always thought that if I deserved it all, I had enough self-confidence to make it. More than that, I love them, cherish them. Well, even though I hate their children, I love the parents who gave birth to them. Those two middle-aged couples replaced the love that Bellva and I should have received from two selfish
It's all fun, and feels so fast.Feels hazy, and so satisfying until I wake up in the morning. Sitting myself on the bed of a two hundred thousand dollar hotel room, staring at the messy bed room. Someone messed up this room last night, and I know it was me. Well, I was drunk, which I never do anymore. I have a high tolerance for alcohol, and I never want to make myself vulnerable in a crowd. I would choose to get drunk in my own room, and then face a headache the next day.Exception for tonight. It's like I'm back in my early puberty : high on alcohol, and then finding a different woman every weekend sleeping in the same bed as me. Naked, of course. I've rarely done that, at least I've never done it in a high state and then forgot the safeguard I always use. I wouldn't take such a risk while I was having conscientious sex, and relief washed over me to see the ripped condom packaging on the floor.I believe my hangover came from exhaustion after having fun and exploring five countries