Chapter 22

Laura

The second week of the internship was easier.

I knew where the break room was. I knew how to transfer calls. I knew which printer jammed and which coffee machine made the good coffee. Leo stopped checking on me every hour. Sarah started saying good morning like I belonged there.

Damon stayed in his office.

I saw him sometimes. In the hallway. By the elevator. Through the glass walls of his office. He was always working. Always on the phone. Always looking at papers.

He did not come to my desk. He did not text me. He did not call.

The necklace was still around my neck.

I told myself I wore it because it was pretty. That was a lie. I wore it because he gave it to me. Because every time I touched the star, I felt something. Anger. Want. Sadness. Hope. All of it mixed together.

Chloe texted me every day.

"how is the old man"

"he is not old"

"he is old to us"

"he is forty two"

"that is old"

"you are annoying"

"you love me"

"unfortunately"

She was interning at a marketing firm. She hated it. Her boss made her get coffee. Her boss made her file papers. Her boss made her stay late for no reason.

"at least your boss leaves you alone," she said.

"he is not my boss. he is the owner. my boss is leo."

"same thing."

"not the same."

"whatever. are you going to jake's party on saturday."

"maybe."

"you have to come. rick will be there."

"i know."

"and other people."

"other people are fine."

"you are weird."

"i know."

She sent a photo of her flipping off the camera. I sent a photo of my desk. She sent a photo of her coffee. I sent a photo of my coffee. We were both bored. We were both pretending we were not.

---

On Wednesday, Rick picked me up from work.

He was waiting outside. Leaning against his car. His hair was messy. His smile was easy.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey."

"How was work."

"Fine. Yours."

"Boring. I am thinking about quitting."

"You just started."

"I know. But it is boring."

He opened the door for me. I got in. He drove.

"Where are we going," I said.

"My place. My dad is out. We have the house to ourselves."

My stomach flipped.

"Out where," I said.

"Some business thing. I do not know. He is always at business things."

I looked out the window. The city was blurry.

"Laura."

"What."

"You are doing that thing again."

"What thing."

"The thing where you go somewhere else."

"I am right here."

"You are not. But okay."

He turned up the music. Did not ask anything else.

That was Rick. He did not push. He did not ask. He did not see.

---

The house was empty.

Rick's car was in the driveway. The Bugatti was not. Damon was gone.

I walked inside. The house smelled the same. Coffee. Clean. Him.

Rick went to the kitchen. Grabbed drinks. Chips. A blanket.

"Movie," he said.

"Okay."

We sat on the couch. The same couch. The same spot where I used to sit with Rick while Damon sat in the chair.

Rick put his arm around me. Pulled me close.

"You are tense," he said.

"I am tired."

"You are always tired."

"I am always tired."

He kissed my temple. His lips were soft.

"I missed you," he said.

"I am right here."

"You are. But you are not."

I did not know what to say. Because he was right.

Rick turned on the movie. Something loud. Something with explosions. I did not watch. I stared at the hallway. The one that led to Damon's study.

The door was closed.

He was not here.

But I could feel him anyway.

---

The movie ended. Rick fell asleep on the couch. His head was on my shoulder. His breathing was slow.

I did not move.

I looked at his face. His eyelashes. His lips. His hand on my leg.

He was beautiful. He was kind. He was everything a girl was supposed to want.

But he was not what I wanted.

That made me a bad person. I knew that.

I thought about Damon. About his hands. About his voice. About the way he said my name like it was a secret.

I thought about the necklace. The star. The note. "You are exactly where you are supposed to be."

I was not sure about that anymore.

---

Rick woke up at 10.

"Sorry," he said. "I fell asleep."

"I know."

"The movie was boring."

"The movie was loud."

"Same thing."

He stretched. Looked at me.

"Stay over," he said.

"I cannot."

"Why not."

"My parents."

"Tell them you are with Chloe."

"I cannot keep lying to them."

"Then tell them the truth. That you are with me."

I looked at him. His eyes were hopeful. He had no idea.

"Okay," I said. "I will stay."

He smiled. Kissed me. Took my hand. Led me upstairs.

His room was the same. Messy. Clothes on the floor. A lamp that flickered.

He sat on the bed. Pulled me down next to him.

"Laura."

"Yeah."

"I love you."

I looked at him. The boy who had been nothing but good to me.

"I love you too," I said.

I meant it. Not the way he meant it. But I meant it.

---

Later, I lay in his bed. He was asleep. His arm was around me. His breath was warm on my neck.

I stared at the ceiling.

My phone was on the nightstand. I reached for it.

No messages.

I opened Damon's thread. The last message was from days ago. "I will do better."

He had not done better.

I closed the thread. Put the phone down.

Rick shifted in his sleep. Pulled me closer.

I closed my eyes.

I thought about the internship. About the elevator. About the way Damon looked at me like he wanted to say something and could not.

I thought about Rick. About his hand in mine. About his easy smile.

I did not know what to do.

I fell asleep.

---

The next morning, I woke up before Rick.

I got dressed. Walked downstairs.

Damon was in the kitchen.

He was standing by the counter. A cup of coffee in his hand. He was wearing a grey tshirt and sweatpants. His hair was messy. His eyes were tired.

He looked up when I walked in.

"Laura."

"Damon."

"Rick is still asleep."

"I know."

"You stayed over."

"I stayed over."

He looked at my neck. The star.

"You are still wearing it."

"It is a necklace."

"It is my necklace."

"It is my necklace now. You gave it to me."

He put his coffee down. Walked toward me. Stopped a few feet away.

"You stayed in his room," he said.

"Yes."

"In his bed."

"Yes."

He looked at the floor. Then at me.

"I do not have the right to be jealous," he said.

"No. You do not."

"But I am."

I looked at him. His face. His hands. His stupid dark blue eyes.

"Then do something about it," I said.

"What do you want me to do."

"I want you to stop hiding. I want you to stop sending gifts with no name. I want you to stop being a coward."

"I am not a coward."

"Then prove it."

He stepped closer. His hand touched my face. His thumb on my cheek.

"Laura."

"Damon."

He kissed me.

The kitchen was bright. The sun was coming through the windows. Rick was upstairs asleep.

And I was kissing his father.

I kissed him back.

His hands were in my hair. My hands were on his chest. His heart was beating fast. Like mine.

He pulled back.

"We cannot do this here," he said.

"Then where."

"My office. Today. 5 PM."

"Everyone will be gone."

"Yes."

I nodded. Stepped back.

He let me go.

I walked to the door. Turned around.

"Do not be late," I said.

"I will not."

I left.

Rick was still asleep. I did not wake him. I called a car. Went home.

My mom was in the kitchen. She looked at me.

"You stayed at Rick's," she said.

"Yes."

"Did you sleep on the couch."

"Mom."

"Laura."

"We slept. That is all."

She looked at me for a long time. Then she nodded.

"Okay," she said. "I trust you."

I wished she did not. It would have been easier if she did not.