16

THEA

I slam the door to his office harder than I intend to.

Nora’s standing right outside, arms crossed, brows raised like she’s been waiting a while.

“Took you long enough,” she says, narrowed eyes raking my body. “Why do you look like a tomato? Did you run laps in there or something?”

I blink, caught off guard. “What?”

“You’re flushed.” She gestures at my face. “Like full-on red. Should I be worried?”

God. I hadn't realized it was that obvious.

I exhale slowly, trying to keep my voice even as I let out a nervous chuckle. “Did you see the news?”

Nora frowns. “The Daily Whisper thing?”

I shrug. I don't even know where he saw it.

Her eyes lingers on my face before she pulls out her phone, unlocks it, and holds it up. The headline glares back at me: CEO Ezra Harrington’s Secret Late-Night Meetings With Newly Promoted MD—Sources Claim It’s ‘More Than Business’.

My stomach flips again, but I keep my face cold.

“Yeah,” I say, voice clipped. “That.”

Nora lowers the phone, scanning my expression. “You didn’t…?”

I shoot her a cold look. “No.”

She holds up her hands in surrender. “Alright. Just had to be sure before I started slapping interns and drafting a counter-statement.”

My fingers twitch at my sides. Say it. Don't say it.

I gulp audibly. “But…”

“But what?” She asks, leaning closer.

God. I… should I say it? But shit, who do I tell about this crazy proposition? I need to tell someone so I won't go crazy! I've already faced enough bullshit in a year.

“But what Thea?” She asks again.

I exhale loudly and shut my eyes before blurting. “It's a stain on my reputation and we have a solution now.”

“Which solution other than to pay them money and have them clear everything?”

My eyes snap open. “That won't work.” I cry, striding away from the door and down the hall. “He thinks we should lean into the rumour. Give them something juicier to chew.”

“What the fuck Thea?” Nora exclaims.

But I don't stop as I continue to walk to my office down the hall.

She catches up to me.

“Tell me it's a fucking lie.”

I turn to her, trying to hold back my tears. Yes, blame me. I cry even when I'm stressed. And I hate it. It makes me weak.

“Do I look like I'm joking?”

“Oh my gosh.”

I hiss amd continue on my way. When I reach my door, I placed my thumb on the knob. The door clicks open and I step in, Nora hurrying after me.

I didn't spare her a glance as I round my table and drop into my chair. I rest my head on the backrest and shut my eyes.

I just want to be alone so I can cry in peace. I don't know why Nora still ask to follow me. And yes, I know she likes him. She didn't make it subtle. She should just leave me alone.

“Thea.” She calls.

“What?” I grumble.

“You don't want this right?”

My eyes snap open. “Of course I don't. But I don't think I have a choice here. My entire career is on the line.”

She sighs as her fingers taps the surface of my table fast. “I'm really worried about you for real. Including your divorce and stuff. Boss is a ticking time bomb and he's got charms.”

The divorce. God. I miss Finn. My baby. 

“I'm not supposed to be in this situation.” I say with a bitter chuckle, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“Of course you are not.” She says. “You've been through hell but you can't pretend this isn't some mess that's going to blow up in your face.”

But why does that sound almost mocking?

“So, I have a suggestion.” She continues nonetheless. She takes her phone and swipes a few times before holding it up to my face. “Try this.”

I lean forward, my eyes latching to the screen. It looks like… a dating app.

“A dating app?”

She nods wildly.

“Seriously? I'm not doing that.”

“Why not?” She gives me an exasperated look. “See, you need to distract yourself. You've been too focused on everything except what matters. That you need to live your life, get your mind off some situations, and do it fast. I fear you might lose yourself over boss by the time this ends.”

I let out a breath, staring at the app icon. 

Nora's right. Even though I know she's doing this because she likes him. But she's right. I've not been focused on me lately. I burn myself under hot water to get people out from under my skin, I'd told myself I'll visit a therapist but I didn't even give myself time to do that, I don't have any friends. Nora is the only one close enough.

I don't even know where mother or father lives anymore. I don't know if I can still remember the road to their houses. It'd been so long. They are definitely focused on their families now. My whole life have always revolved around Sebastian and Finn and now, it looks like I've lost my will, my spark. 

Maybe I need to find it back.

Maybe this is the first step.

I let out a breathe. “I'm not looking for anything serious.” I say, still unsure.

“Of course not.” She hurriedly says. “Just keep yourself busy. Meet people, have fun, and don't let yourself get swallowed by this upcoming… nonsense.”

I hesitate. But she looks eager. 

“Fine.” I finally say. “I'll try it. Please send the app’s name to my DM. I'll d******d it.”

“Good.” She says with a wink. Then, she stands and blows me a kiss before walking to the door. She pulls it open and step out, the door shutting after her.

Even if her motives aren't pure, it's nice to feel like someone gives a damn. Even if it's temporary. Even if it's not real. Maybe I've become too broken. Wasn't fed love on a silver platter, I'd to lick it off knives instead.

But when she leaves, the memories come rushing in again. 

He had me caged. Between him. The desk. That heat.

Shit.

What the hell was that?

I pace to the windows, drag the blinds shut, then press my forehead to the cool glass. It doesn’t help. I’m burning from the inside out, like my own skin is betraying me.

I can still feel him.

Ezra.

His scent. His voice. The heat of his body close enough to singe. The way he looked at me—like he could taste every thought I wasn’t brave enough to say out loud.

I swallow hard, disgust curling in my stomach.

This isn't who I am.

It hasn’t even been six months since I signed those divorce papers. Since I stood in that hotel room and promised myself I would never let a man make me feel small or out of control again.

I should be angry—furious—that the world thinks I’m sleeping my way to power.

But I’m more angry at myself.

Because for one tiny, reckless moment, I didn’t feel like a woman scorned.

I felt wanted.

Desired.

It makes me sick. Maybe I'm just confused.

I press my palm to my chest, right where my heart won’t stop hammering. Ezra didn’t touch me. But he didn’t have to. My body reacted like I’ve been starving. Like he was the first drop of water I’d seen in a desert.

And that… that scares me more than anything.

I take a shaky breath.

I’m not leaving this job. I built too much. Sacrificed too much. I won’t run because of a rumor—or a man.

But if I’m staying, then I need control. Over the press. Over my image.

Over myself.

God. What should I do?

I inhale deeply.

Maybe I'll stay.

I'll survive.

But before that, I need to remember who the hell I am.