Chapter 44

My Cheating Mate

Emma pov

I sat on the couch wrapped in the sheet from the bedroom, staring at nothing as the sun disappeared completely. The cabin was dark except for the last dregs of twilight filtering through the windows.

Jeremy had been gone for two hours.

Two hours since I'd basically told him to leave. Since I'd hidden in the bedroom instead of saying goodbye properly. Since I'd let him walk out that door thinking I was angry at him.

And I was angry. Furious, actually. Furious at the situation, at Black River, at Vanessa's ghost that kept haunting us from beyond the grave.

But not at Jeremy. Not really.

He'd been right. The pack needed him. People were going to die if they didn't have proper tactical planning against a hundred mercenary wolves. His father had asked—not ordered, asked—for help, and Jeremy had agreed because that's what future Alphas do.

They put the pack first.

Even when it hurt. Even when it meant leaving their mate alone in a safe house after finally, finally starting to rebuild trust.

I should have been supportive. Should have told him I understood, that I was proud of him for stepping up, that I'd be okay here alone.

Instead, I'd made him feel guilty. Had accused him of choosing duty over me, like his responsibility to the pack was somehow equivalent to his affair with Vanessa.

"God, I'm such an idiot," I said to the empty room.

My phone sat on the coffee table. Jeremy had said he'd call when he got to pack lands. That had been—I checked the time—thirty minutes ago. He should have arrived by now.

But the phone stayed silent.

Maybe he was in meetings already. Or maybe he didn't want to call after the way I'd treated him. Couldn't blame him for that.

I pulled the sheet tighter around myself, feeling the ache of his absence. We'd made love just hours ago. I'd finally let my walls down, let myself be vulnerable with him, trusted him with my body and my heart.

And then I'd thrown it in his face the moment things got hard.

The thing was, I knew why I'd reacted that way. Therapy with Dr. Chen had given me enough self-awareness to understand my own patterns.

I was terrified of losing him. Not to another woman this time, but to violence. To the mercenaries who'd almost killed him once already. To a battle where a hundred professional fighters were planning to destroy everything we loved.

Last night's attack had been bad enough—watching Jeremy fight, seeing him bleed, thinking he might die protecting me. The terror of that had clarified how much I still loved him.

And now he was heading back into danger. Worse danger. And my fear had manifested as anger, as accusation, as pushing him away before he could leave me through death instead of choice.

Classic defense mechanism. Hurt him before he could hurt me. Push him away before I could lose him.

"Really healthy, Emma," I muttered sarcastically. "Great job."

My phone buzzed. I grabbed it immediately.

Jeremy: "Made it to pack lands safely. In briefing with Dad and council now. Will call when I can. I love you. Please be safe."

Relief flooded through me. He was alive. He'd made it.

And he was still saying he loved me, even after I'd been awful.

I stared at the message, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. What did I say? How did I apologize for the way I'd acted?

Finally, I typed: "I'm sorry. For how I reacted. For what I said. I know you need to be there. I'm just scared of losing you."

I hit send before I could second-guess myself.

Three dots appeared immediately, then: "I know. I'm scared too. But Emma, I'm coming back to you. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Then I'll make it true. Whatever it takes."

I smiled despite everything, tears streaming down my face. "Be safe. Please be safe."

"I will. You too. Lock all the doors. Keep your phone charged. Call me if ANYTHING seems off."

"I will. Jeremy?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you too. I should have said it before you left. Should have said goodbye properly instead of hiding like a coward."

"You're not a coward. You're scared. There's a difference."

"Still. You deserved better than how I acted."

"We'll talk about it when I get back. For now, just stay safe. That's all I need from you."

"Okay. Go save our pack, future Alpha."

"Working on it. Talk soon."

The conversation ended, but I felt marginally better. At least he knew I wasn't actually angry at him. At least he knew I loved him.

I finally got up and turned on lights, put on actual clothes instead of wearing a sheet. Made myself eat something even though I wasn't hungry. All the practical things that Jeremy would want me to do.

The cabin felt too quiet. Too empty. Just hours ago, it had felt cozy with both of us here. Now it felt like a cage.

I checked all the locks like Jeremy had asked. Tested the communication equipment to make sure I could reach pack lands if needed. Loaded the guns he'd left and placed them strategically around the cabin—one in the bedroom, one in the kitchen, one by the front door.

Preparing for threats that probably wouldn't come. Black River was focused on the pack assault now. But still. Better prepared than caught off-guard.

My phone rang. I answered immediately, hoping it was Jeremy calling instead of texting.

But it was my father. "Emma? You okay?"

"Hi, Dad. Yeah, I'm okay. Jeremy got back safely?"

"He did. He's in the war room now, mapping out defensive positions with the military advisors." A pause. "He told me what happened. How you two argued before he left."

Embarrassment flooded through me. "I was a jerk. He was doing the right thing and I made him feel guilty about it."

"You were scared," my father corrected gently. "There's a difference, baby girl. And Jeremy understands that. He's not angry."

"He should be."

"He's not. He's worried about you. Feels guilty for leaving you alone after—" He stopped. "After you two finally started reconnecting."

So Jeremy had told him about that too. About us being intimate. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"Dad, I'm fine. Really. I was just—I reacted badly. But I'm okay now."

"Are you? Because being alone in a safe house while mercenaries plan to attack your pack—that's not exactly fine."

"I'm safe here. Safer than I'd be in pack lands."

"That's true. Doesn't mean it's easy." He paused. "Emma, I need you to know something. Jeremy's going to do everything he can to end this quickly. To get back to you. He's motivated in a way I haven't seen since—well, since before everything went wrong between you two."

"I know. I can see it." I curled up on the couch. "Dad, what if—what if he doesn't make it back? What if the mercenaries—"

"Don't think like that. Jeremy's smart, skilled, and has the entire pack backing him up. He's going to be fine."

"You can't know that."

"No. But I believe it. And you should too." His voice softened. "Emma, I watched you two together before this all fell apart. Watched the way he looked at you, the way you looked at him. You had something real. Something worth fighting for."

"And then he destroyed it."

"And then he's been spending every day since trying to rebuild it. That has to count for something."

It did count. I knew it did. Jeremy had been consistent, honest, committed to healing and change. He'd done the work. Showed up to therapy. Actually engaged instead of going through the motions.

And just when we'd finally made real progress, when we'd been intimate and vulnerable and honest—the universe threw another crisis at us.

"I should have been more supportive," I admitted. "Should have told him I was proud of him for stepping up instead of making him feel bad about leaving."

"You can tell him when he calls. Or when he gets back." My father's voice turned serious. "But Emma, I need you to promise me something."

"What?"

"Stay in the safe house. Don't try to come back to help. Don't put yourself in danger because you're worried about Jeremy or the pack." He paused. "Promise me you'll stay safe."

"I promise, Dad."

"Good. Because losing you would destroy more than just Jeremy. It would destroy me too."

"I know. I love you, Dad."

"Love you too, baby girl. Now get some rest. Tomorrow's going to be a long day for all of us."

After we hung up, I tried to follow his advice. Tried to sleep. But every time I closed my eyes, I saw Jeremy fighting. Saw him bleeding. Saw him dying while I sat uselessly in a cabin three hours away.

So I got up. Made coffee I didn't need. Paced the small space until I'd worn a path in the floor.

My phone buzzed again. Another text from Jeremy: "Briefing done. Defensive plan in place. About to get a few hours sleep before early meeting. You okay?"

"Can't sleep. Worried."

"About?"

"You. The pack. Everything."

"Emma, I need you to trust me. I'm good at this. Tactical planning is one of my strengths. We have a solid defense, good positioning, alliance support. We're going to win this."

"And if you don't?"

"Then I'll have died protecting something that matters. But I'm not planning to die. I'm planning to destroy Black River, end this threat, and come back to you."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now please, try to sleep. I need to know you're taking care of yourself."

"Only if you do the same."

"Deal. Goodnight, Emma. I love you."

"I love you too. So much. Please be safe."

"Always."

I finally forced myself to go to the bedroom. To lie down in the bed where we'd made love just hours ago. His scent was still on the pillows, the sheets.

I buried my face in his pillow and let myself cry. For the fear, the uncertainty, the horrible timing of it all.

We'd finally been healing. Finally been honest. Finally been intimate.

And now he was gone again, heading into danger while I sat uselessly alone.

But this time was different, I reminded myself. This time he'd promised to come back. This time he was fighting for the pack, for duty, for something real instead of running to another woman.

This time, I believed him.

I just hoped belief was enough.

Hoped the universe would let us have this. Let us rebuild what we'd lost. Let us actually have a future together instead of constantly tearing us apart.

I fell asleep still clutching his pillow, my phone on the nightstand in case he called.

Praying to the Moon Goddess that when I woke up, Jeremy would still be alive.

That we'd both survive this.

That maybe, finally, we could have peace.

If we were lucky enough.

If we were strong enough.

If love really was enough after all.