Chapter 21: Stupid, Delusional Idiot

The heavy, midnight-blue silk dress tore down the seam as I violently yanked it off my shoulders.

I didn't care that it was spun from the King’s personal treasury. I didn't care that it was worth more than Kaelen’s entire packhouse. To me, it was just another collar. I kicked the pooled fabric away from my ankles with a wet, angry sob and frantically pulled on the plain, coarse wool tunic and thick hunting pants I had arrived in three weeks ago.

“Stupid!!” I chanted in my head, my hands shaking so violently I could barely fasten the leather belt at my waist. “You stupid, pathetic, delusional idiot.”

On the massive four-poster bed, Mael was still crying. He had screamed himself completely hoarse in the Great Assembly Hall, and now his cries were just silent, breathless hitches—his tiny chest shuddering as his face turned a flushed, blotchy red.

"I know, baby, I know. Mommy's got you. We're leaving," I choked out, my vision completely blurred by the hot tears continuously spilling over my eyelashes.

I grabbed a worn leather rucksack from the closet and started throwing things into it. A heavy fur blanket. Two loaves of bread I had saved from my breakfast tray. Three pairs of baby socks. My chest heaving with every ragged breath.

The room was spinning. The adrenaline from the courtroom was finally crashing, leaving behind a cold, sickening reality.

‘I guess her fate has been decided then.’

Riven’s words echoed in my skull, mocking me. How could I have been so blind? I had actually let myself believe that the Lycan King cared. That his gentle touches, his dark, possessive promises to protect me, actually meant something. I had let myself feel safe in his fortress, convinced that I was finally worth something to someone.

But really, how different was he from Kaelen? How different was he from any other man on this godforsaken planet?

They were all the exact same. They made you feel special, they fed you fake promises and pretty illusions right up until the exact moment it was time for an actual commitment. When the Council pressed him, when the ancient laws were read, Riven had folded. He sat on his iron throne, looked at the wall, and threw me straight back to the monster who sold me.

“Fucking Kaelen,” I thought, a fresh wave of violent hatred making my hands cramp. Kaelen had won.

But I was not going back. I would drag myself and my son into the freezing wilderness and become a rogue. I would sleep in the snow, eat raw rabbits, and mask my scent in the mud for the rest of my miserable life. That was a million times better than returning to my own vomit—returning to the pack that sold my child for a chest of gold.

Knock. Knock.

I froze. My heart slammed into my throat, completely cutting off my air supply.

"Open up."

It was a raspy, familiar voice. I practically lunged across the stone floor, fumbling with the heavy iron latch, and dragged Maren into the room before quickly slamming and locking the door behind her.

The old healer took one look at the torn silk on the floor, the half-packed rucksack, and my tear-stained face. Her grey eyes narrowed. "Where exactly do you think you're going?"

"You can't tell them," I sobbed, the dam completely breaking as I grabbed her forearms, my fingers digging into her sleeves. "Please, Maren. I know you're loyal to the Empire, but you're a woman. You have to understand. You have to look the other way and let me run."

"Liora, calm down—"

"No!" I cried, my voice cracking. "All your promises were bullshit, Maren! You told me we were special. You told me I had power! It was all just a sick illusion to keep the little defective pet happy until the Alphas decided what to do with her! Well, reality just hit me right in the face!"

I let go of her and covered my face with my hands, my shoulders shaking violently.

"They voted to send me back," I wept, the words tasting like ash in my mouth. "Kaelen demanded his property back. He humiliated me in front of the entire continent. And Riven... Riven just let him. He turned his back on me and told them my fate was decided. If I don't run right now, I'm going back to Frostbane."

Maren didn't look panicked. She didn't reach for the door, and she didn't call for the guards. Instead, she walked past me, calmly stepping over the discarded royal gown, and went straight to the bed.

She picked Mael up. She supported his head with one weathered hand and began to rock him in a slow, rhythmic sway, humming a low, vibrating tune deep in her chest. Miraculously, Mael’s frantic, breathless hiccuping began to slow down.

"Liora," Maren said, her voice entirely devoid of the hysteria that was drowning me. "Stop packing for a second. Tell me what truly happened down there."