Chapter 4: Child

"Dianna, I'm pregnant!" I was clutching my chest when my office door slammed, as Chelsea handed me a pregnancy test with a positive result. My eyes widened.

"Oh my gosh! It's definitely good news, Chelsea. I'm happy for you and Dave."

"Congratulations!" I added and returned the pregnancy test to her. She was happy to sit in the chair in front of my table.

"Does Dave already know?"

"Actually, not yet. I just found out, and I'm still thinking of a way to make it unique when I tell him."

"You're the type who will really cry when he finds out!"

"Dianna, I'm really happy. I mean, it's a different feeling when you find out you're going to be a Mommy soon." I saw the glow on her face and smiled. She was so happy, it's too obvious. Well, who wouldn't?

"I'm sure that no matter how you tell your husband that, his smile will reach heaven." Her gaze became even wider, her eyes seemed to contain stars.

"Oh, I'm sure of that too! How many times have we been rocked, and finally now it was worth it for him to put fireworks inside me." She laughed, and I laughed too.

"Yes, you are the happy one. And because of that, I will announce the good news to the whole team so we can celebrate."

"I like that! Well, let's change the topic..."

"How about you and Lucas, when do you plan to have a child?" I was dumbfounded. In the three years we've been married, we haven't really talked about having a child, but it never leaves my mind, because it's also one of my dreams.

"Hm, we haven't talked about it yet, because of work. I also don't want to talk about it because he certainly won't be able to pay attention either, especially since he has a lot of projects that need to be finished."

"Why don't you try? I mean, Lucas is a man. Doesn't he at least caress you?"

"Don't tell me even when it's sexy time you forget to do it?" I winced, because what she said seemed to slap me.

"Oh, why can't you talk there anymore? Nah, Dianna! It's supposed to be a couple, the warmth doesn't go away in bed."

"You're really funny, of course I really want to have a child. The truth is that I have been thinking about it for the past few days."

"That's right! Come home early later, don't waste the days. If Lucas doesn't want an outdoor adventure, maybe he wants an indoor adventure."

"Maybe your husband want a kind of rides on Dianna Rodriguez, top!" I couldn't stop laughing at what she said, but at the end I also smiled.

It was almost six in the evening, and now I thought of going home early, maybe after I signed the remaining documents on my desk.

When I came home, as usual, Lucas was still not there, which was not surprising because he often worked overtime at his job. Since he wasn't there yet, I thought of resting first.

While sitting alone I can't stop my mind from wandering, especially in silence. I just now realized that in recent times the warmth seems to have disappeared in our relationship. I also blame myself for why every time he becomes distant from me I don't do anything.

Deep inside, I also felt a little jealous when Chelsea told me that she was going to have a child. Dave and Chelsea have only been married for a year, they both have jobs, but they are ahead of us in starting a family.

Only a few minutes later, I heard the horn of Lucas' car. I quickly stood up from my seat and greeted him happily. And tonight I didn't let what I wanted to say to him slip from my mind.

It's already past 9:00 in the evening. We are now both laying on our bed with his laptop on his stomach, typing furiously. I can hear the music blasting through the headphones he wore something that he didn't usually put on.

I smiled and then held him close, and motioned for him to take off his headphones, which he did.

"Why?" he asked me listlessly, while his eyes were still focused on the laptop.

"Honey..." I gently caressed his arm.

"I just thought that I wanted to start a family. Ahm...I want us to have a child." I hugged his arm, but he slowly removed it and when our eyes met, his meeting eyebrows did not escape my eyes.

"Dianna, we've talked about this before, haven't we? I want to give you everything, you know that. That's why I can't put my work aside."

"My career is still in its unstable status. I want everything in my business to be in order first so that our future is secure. And I can't do that if I focus on other things." I swallowed and slightly pulled away from him, as if something pierced my heart. While thinking about the dream of having a child that I can hold in my arms squeezes my heart.

"But, Lucas..." there was more pleading in the tone of my voice.

"We're not getting any younger. I want to have a family with you. There's probably nothing wrong with what I'm saying because we've been married for three years." He took a deep breath as he closed his laptop.

"Dianna, I promise you that when my job is stable, we'll get to where we want to be. But for now, I am really sorry but I can't give what you're asking for." As my shoulders slumped, I felt the corners of my eyes heat up.

I really want to have a child, but I also know that I can't force Lucas into this kind of situation, because I want our child to be the result of our love and not just because I forced him.

"I-I understand you, Lucas. I'm not forcing you, I just want you to know that my dream of having a child is important to me, so that our marriage can be even more colorful."

"Don't be sad, Dianna. Just be patient and wait. I promised that we will make that dream come true. Alright?"

"Let's go to sleep and I'm tired too." I only smiled and nodded at him. And as I lay by his side I just quietly let my tears fall.