CH 2

Hannah

I stood transfixed there, trying not to believe the sight before my eyes. I hoped that what I saw that night was just a dream and that maybe someone would wake me up soon.

I raised my hand slowly, then pinched my right cheek. It stung and hurt, meaning I wasn’t dreaming.

Instantly, it felt like my soul left my body and my world spun a hundred and eighty degrees. The man I love and am very proud of kissed the lips of another woman who was our neighbor in her apartment.

That was crazy. I was sure this wasn’t the first time they’d done this. If they dared to do such a crazy thing when me and the woman’s husband were in the living room together with their children, it means that they have been professional in doing such disgusting things.

My chest felt tight, my eyes stung, and unfortunately, tears were pressing to come out. But I kept convincing myself that I shouldn’t cry because of Jensen. So, it was enough for me to bear this pain alone.

As a woman, of course, I wanted to approach them, curse them both with harsh words that I had rarely spoken before. Or without saying much, I approached Bella, pulled her hair while saying, “Go to hell, bitch! And you, Jason, we’re getting a divorce. Never see Jensen again. We hate you!”

But infidelity doesn’t happen because of the will of one party, but because of the will of both parties. If I followed my emotions that night, then everything would be over. Many hearts would be broken and two families would be destroyed instantly. However, what I didn’t want even more was my son’s mental breakdown.

I turned away from there for the sake of the integrity of both families. Besides, I had to make sure of many other things before making the most important decision in my married life.

We were no longer a man, and a woman united in marriage, but there was now a child between us who was the greatest gift for all married couples. And children feel the worst impact of their parents’ divorce.

However, the other, much stronger reason is that I don’t want my son to feel what I felt in my childhood. I don’t want his life to be destroyed and feel different from other children because I know best what it feels like to live in a broken family with divorced parents.

My older brother and I stayed in different homes every week. The first week was at my father’s house and the second week was at my mother’s apartment. Finally, my father remarried and had a new family. Meanwhile, my mother remained single, so my brother and I settled in my mother’s apartment.

I had a kind and wonderful mother. It’s just that we never spent much time together, so I don’t know what the bonding between a mother and a daughter is like. Because my mother was busy making money to support the three of us because, since my father remarried, he stopped supporting our lives.

My parents’ divorce and their busyness with their world completely changed my character. A part of me was broken. I became an introvert and had low self-confidence. Mom only came home when the sun had set, then took a shower, had dinner, went into her room and after that, I saw her fall asleep. And I was the babysitter for her.

It felt tiring to differ from other children. But everything that has happened cannot be changed. And now, my marriage was facing a situation that was almost the same as what happened to my parent’s marriage. What I heard at the time was that my father had an affair with his coworker and they had a child after their disgusting act. However, the woman who took my mother’s husband won and they are now a happy family.

This made my relationship with my father bad. I have hated him from the beginning until now.

Before returning to the living room, I had to make sure that my face was the same as before, a cheerful face. When I got to the living room, I saw the kids still playing.

“Have they finished washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen?” Mike asked when he saw me again.

I forced my lips to smile happily. I saw Jensen staring at me even though his hands were still holding the Lego he was playing with Emma.

“I don’t know because I came back here.”

Mike was silent for a moment, seeming to digest my answer. However, after that, he didn’t ask me anything else.

“Mom, are you okay?” Jensen asked. I realized I had a sensitive child.

“I am okay, dear. It’s just that my head feels dizzy,” I replied. Jensen stroked my hand. “Do you want me to call Dad? So, we can go home as soon as possible.”

“No need. Wait for your dad to finish washing the dishes.” Luckily, Jensen obeyed. I didn’t want him to see anything disgusting that would traumatize him for the rest of his life. Mike had offered me a headache reliever, but I refused it because my head wasn’t hurting, but my heart was hurting. Very much.

A few moments later, Jason and Bella arrived. Their faces were beaming, full of happiness. Bella kept thanking Jason.

I felt sick and disgusted at the sight of their play-acting.

Suddenly, Jensen approached his father, told him about my illness, and invited him home. I kept watching Jason’s face while pretending to rest on the sofa.

Jason approached me and asked how I was. I told him I just wanted to go home. His face didn’t change. He still had the face and demeanor of a caring husband who loved his wife very much. Bella had offered me medicine, but Mike had already given her an answer.

The three of us hurried home from there.

After lying on the bed, Jason kissed my lips and forehead as usual while saying, “Good night, love.” After that, he turned around and fell asleep soundly, leaving me awake until sunrise.

My mind kept working all night. I felt devastated from childhood to adulthood. And I knew the result of every affair. Therefore, I had to prevent Jensen from becoming like me, even though I might not save my marriage.

Because I would never tolerate an affair.

The next morning, I continued to fulfill my duties as a good wife and mother. Afterward, I hurried away from there and went somewhere.