Chapter 9: One-Sided Love and Sacrifice

From Redmund's note, what he meant by same time and same place was meeting him in the old garden at midnight. Our love rendezvous usually happened there for the whole year.

That place became our witness to how deeply I cherished Redmund with all my heart and would do anything to please him. However, there was one thing I couldn't give him, no matter how he coaxed me, which I eventually gave to his uncle, and he had no idea about it.

As I gawked at the starry night sky, arriving a little earlier, my heart was still aching over how I would confront Redmund about what I had seen and heard. I thought that he would never talk to me again, but when he made a move, I had a feeling that this could be the last meeting we would ever have.

My eyes lingered on the surroundings as soon as the cold breeze hit my skin. It felt lonely with the heavy smell of the moss and wilted roses. Some cracked stone benches were standing in the dark, signifying my heart was like this when I caught their betrayal.

My pulse was racing right now when I dove deeper into the old garden, but I didn't expect that Redmund had arrived earlier than I, which I thought I should be more punctual than him. My breath hitched, seeing him leaning against the broken archway like he always did when we met here before. 

I clutched the folds of my cloak tighter when I remembered that I would be enthralled to run towards him, which would permit me to hug him. Now, realization hit me. I realized that all the things I wanted us to do needed to be permitted by him, like I couldn't just kiss him on his cheek or lips or even hug him. 

There were so many restrictions that I thought that our love was perfect. 

When I approached him, my heart faltered as soon as I saw Lilith was there behind him.

She popped out from his back, waving at me. "Hello, Euphie. You've been avoiding me lately. You didn't have to, you know." She fluttered her eyelids and took a step forward.

I distanced myself, not expecting her. "W-Why are you here?" I asked, and it sounded betrayed. 

I wanted to speak with Redmund alone, to confront him, but why was she here? They were really going to slap their relationship on me, weren't they?

"I asked her to be here, Euphyllia." Redmund was the one who answered my question.

I exchanged glances with them as my heart was shattered.

I see now. I already see it now that they were going to flaunt their relationship.

The two people I loved the most were here to tell me their betrayal. I came here to confront Redmund about everything, and I was planning to end things with him, but it looked like the Moon Goddess helped me.

This was really two birds hitting them with one stone.

When I locked my gaze on Lilith. "So, you want Redmund, after all, Lilith?" My lips were quivering as I finally said the words I wanted to say. "You told me that you never liked him for me, but I wasn't aware that you had hidden motives to steal him from me..."

I thanked myself for being brave enough to say the words. And I didn't know where this courage came from, but my wolf was howling in pain seeing the confirmation in front of us.

"You were my best friend, and you're doing this to me?" My voice croaked.

Lilith hissed with a wry smile as she hummed. "Oh, Euphie. Don't pout." She took a step forward and leaned forward. "You should be more grateful to me, you know. I have let you own him for a year." She fluttered her eyelids as my brows furrowed in confusion. 

"What do you mean?" I exchanged glances between them, but it stayed longer on Redmund, asking for his explanation. "What does she mean, Redmund?"

I thought that I would be seeing remorse and guilt plastered on his face, but nothing of the sort. "Before meeting you," he began. "Lilith and I have been secretly dating, Euphyllia."

I could feel my world getting imploded from his answer. 

"We are honestly waiting for the right time to expose our relationship, but then... You came," Redmund added. "And I got confused with my feelings that I wanted to test the waters with you, but still, Lilith is the one I wanted." With that, his eyes darted at Lilith as he took her hand, bringing it to his lips.

I pressed my hand on my mouth, feeling nauseous, trying to hold myself together. My hands were trembling from his answer, couldn't believe what I just heard.

Recalling everything from Lilith's reaction when I told her that Redmund was my mate, she told me that she didn't like him for me because of his family's reputation. Everything was just her wanting to tell me that I had stolen what was supposed to be hers, but I didn't take note of the signs.

"W-Why didn't you tell me the truth?" This time, I turned to Lilith, my lips quivering when her smile became hollow. "Lilith... You were my sister... my best friend. My only family in this world..."

Her expression hardened, her mocking smile gradually fading into oblivion. "Because I knew you wouldn't let go of him," she replied simply as if her betrayal was the most logical choice. "And I knew well how you have been wanting to meet your mate. See? I am even generous to share what's mine in the first place." She shook her head, a smirk imprinted on her lips. "Redmund was never yours to begin with, my dear. You see how he didn't even care about your mate bond to each other." She inched forward. "You should have realized by now why he wanted to keep your relationship with him a secret."

Her words pierced deeper than any sharp blade. My knees buckled and weakened. At any moment, I could feel myself collapsing onto the mossy stone below me.

I lurched afterwards, and Redmund didn't even move to help me and just watched me in my misery. He didn't have an ounce of guilt glued to his face. Just a nonchalant expression.

I clutched my chest as if I could physically hold my heart together. Redmund's silence and reaction were louder than Lilith's words.

My wolf whimpered inside me, torn between rage and despair. We both knew now that our mate didn't even want to acknowledge it.

So, our relationship was only a one-sided feeling, after all... This... was such a cruel fate for me.

"Redmund." My voice croaked, a hint of desperation in it. "Is it true? Did you... Did you never feel anything at all? F-For me? O-Our mate bond?" My vision was getting blurry from my tears. 

His expression remained unchanged. There was no warmth in it, but when he looked at Lilith, it was different. 

"I felt curiosity, Euphyllia," he answered at last. "Affection, maybe. But love? No. Hence, our mate bond is useless." His thumb brushed the back of Lilith's hand as though to drive the dagger deeper. "It was always her."

"T-Then does this mean that y-you just use me for your own benefit? Because you know that if it weren't for me, you wouldn't have become one of the captains six months ago..." I confronted him with the biggest change in his life. 

Redmund's eye twitched. It was just a brief, but I knew that my words had struck a nerve. 

I took a step closer, my tears cascading down my cheeks. "Don't you dare deny it, Redmund. You know exactly how much I did for you. Even Lilith knows it!" I glared at Lilith before returning my gaze to him. "I am only a tactical keeper, and I know my voice is nothing in the war council, but they listened when I spoke because I had earned their respect. I was the one who vouched for you when everyone doubted your skills, Redmund. Remember that. And I was the one who stayed up for countless nights drafting some strategies that you even proclaimed as yours in front of your seniors." I pointed at him on his chest, declaring how frustrated I was during those times. "I put so much effort just for you to stand out, Redmund, because I am hoping that one day, you will decide that our relationship won't be secret anymore! I believe in you!"

My voice cracked as the truth poured out, making me unstoppable. I couldn't be stopped now. I must say this now before I could be drown to misery.

"They told me you were reckless and had a lack of discipline, that you would never be ready for command. But I still defended you, Redmund! I told them you have what it takes to lead, that they should give you a chance to prove yourself. And it's because of me! Because of my faith in you that they promoted you!"

My fists wavered as I slammed them meekly against my chest. 

"And what did I get in return? Lies. Betrayal. And her!" I barked, glaring at Lilith before I raised my hand to her.

"You bitch!" Lilith said angrily, her hand raising.

My face turned sideways before her hand landed on my cheek, my jaw dropping as I looked up to see it was Redmund, whose jaw was tightened. "You do not have the right to hurt Lilith. Do you hear me?" Then, he turned to Lilith, whose eyes were getting misty. "Does it hurt, my love?" he asked softly, gently caressing her cheek. 

Bitterness enveloped my whole being with the endearment he called her. Jealousy was starting to eat me.

Lilith sniffed. "A-A little." She puckered her lips, turning to me. "Euphie, you have gone bold. You don't have to raise your hand on me..." 

My teeth clenched from what I was seeing right now. I never thought that Lilith would be like this. I knew that she could have a nasty attitude, but I didn't know that she would use that on me.

My mouth almost opened to incite some spiteful words when Redmund spoke. "And you exaggerate, Euphyllia," he said flatly, looking at me nonchalantly. "Your influence was... useful, yes, but do not fool yourself into thinking that it was the reason I became captain. My own skill carried me there. Do not be so full of yourself."

Lilith clung to his arm. "Love, I think my best friend thinks that you owed me something. That is really adorable, isn't it?" Her malicious gaze turned to me, her brow arching.

"You were convenient, Euphyllia. Nothing more," Redmund added. "I, Redmund Franciosa, reject you, Euphyllia Ruinart, as my mate."

His words stung, especially now that he had uttered that he rejected our mate bond. I knew to myself that I was losing the battle. My wolf howled in agony, clawing at my insides, but despite it, something snapped at me. 

"Convenient, huh..." I repeated, tasting the bitterness of the word. I looked him straight in his eyes. "I, Euphyllia Ivara Ruinart, accept the rejection of my mate, Redmund Franciosa." The acceptance hit straight to the core of my heart as hatred submerged. "May the Moon Goddess bestow the karma you deserve. One day, you will regret casting aside your mate, Redmund."

Without waiting for them to reply, I held my head high and turned on my heel to leave. The old garden blurred in my vision as tears were threatening to fall and the air around me felt suffocating. 

My heart kept being stabbed by a thousand arrows and now was left rotting. I wouldn't let them see me break. Not here. Not before them.

The moment my feet reached the edge of the barracks, my legs gave way. My steps faltered, my knees turning into jelly as I turned on my right.

But I felt myself collided with something solid, or it could be a wall. Or someone. I didn't know anymore.

Strong, calloused hands steadied me before I could fall, and my blurred vision lifted.

"Careful," a low, baritone voice murmured.

My vision was still blurry, but through my teary-eyed eyesight, I caught the outline of broad shoulders, an inclined chest, and the familiar woody scent. And the moonlight helped me see this person closely.

A familiar strong jaw and those hazel eyes that mesmerized me during that night.

I caught my breath. 

This wasn't Redmund.

It wasn't a stranger. It was someone I already met and had sworn to myself never to cross path with again.

It was Commander Lucretius.

"I-I'm sorry," I whispered, choking on my words. My throat tightened as I recalled the words from Redmund and Lilith. Sobs escaped from my lips. "I... I..." I could barely utter another word.

It hurts... What they did to me really hurt me... The pain was too unbearable for me, but I did recognize the person in front of me.

I could never forgive them. I would never forgive them until the day I die!

The losing battle I went through was too much for me to handle so I clung to him and buried my face into his chest. I didn't care anymore if he was the man I slept with. 

All I wanted right now was to pour my broken heart's content. And in that moment, Commander Lucretius was the only one who could console me.