LOGINNate Donalds has survived high school by hiding behind books But when his private journal his darkest secrets, therapy struggles, and forbidden love for Cole Michaelson is exposed, the walls he built around himself shatter. Humiliation, betrayal, and bullying threaten to destroy him for good. Cole is the school’s golden boy with secrets of his own, steps in to protect Nate but at a cost. He’s bisexual, trapped in silence by his abusive father and terrified of losing everything if the truth comes out. Between stolen kisses, hidden meetings, and the relentless cruelty of high school, Nate and Cole are forced to ask: is their love strong enough to survive the lies, the fear, and the betrayal waiting to tear them apart?
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I landed flat on my face the very moment I stepped into school.
I sighed, this was supposed to be a good year, what an amazing way to start things. I had tripped into a trash bin and I picked myself up as the guys around me who had pushed me laughed out loudly. I ignored them and started walking away, my leg hurt so I started limping."Yo Nate, why are you walking like that?", one of them asked.
"Too many shits been into his asshole for sure",the other one, Kendal said laughing out loudly. "Take it easy on your butthole Nate, else you might start having to wear diapers ", another of his friend, Newton said and they laughed again. I got to class and went to my seat and ignored everybody. "Why do you smell like garbage?", my friend Ethan asked coming to sit beside me. "Kendal and friends", I said calmly. "Don't does creeps ever stop, the hell?". "I just hope I can survive one more year in this school and just disappear", I said. School for the rest of the day was normal, which was so new to me, maybe I can manage them a little, it's not so terrible Usually everyone just stared at me like I had a disease. I use to be a normal kid that never went noticed, just known for being a brain and that was it, until my best friend, Jamal leaked that I was gay and made me come out when I wasn't ready to, he exchanged it for popularity and to roll with the Big four, since then everyone sees me as a weird creep.Which was weird because I'm not the only gay person in this school, so I wonder why my situation is worse.
The Big four? who are theyKendal, Newton, Andre and then Cole Michaelson.
They were of course the hotest boys in school, of course every girl worshipped them, of course they had special treatments, of course their lives were better than ours. They were all bullies, and the fact that Jamal thought that leaking my secret was going to make them add him to their friends group was insane honestly, because we all know for a fact that they would have never done that. They ended up turning him into their servant and he still can't see that he is being used, but as long as he got to hang out with them, he didn't care . Honestly, only one of them wasn't a bully, and he stood out to me, it was ; Cole Michaelson. He is a family friend of mine, we use to be friends when we were younger, hung out at each other's places and I started developing feelings for him, in all honesty, he was the one that made me realize I was gay. For some reasons, he just stopped talking to me, he cut me off swiftly and I never got to see him again. He is the cold one in the group, barely ever spoke, just played basketball and bagged girls without even talking. Everyone said he went cold after his mother died, but I knew it was something else. School was over and I went into my locker to drop my things off and go home, my driver was already waiting for me at the packing lot. Immediately I I dropped the books I didn't need and closed my locker, I felt a cold liquid all over my body. I looked at myself and I was covered with paint from the top of my head down to my feet, I was furiously shaking. I looked up and saw Newton and Andre laughing. "C'mon Nate, laugh it's funny, it's the first prank of the year, you know how we do it here", Kendell said laughing. I was foaming, furiously. I can't even do anything about it, I can't fight them I could barely hit a fly, and reporting was useless, they had special treatments of course no one was going to do them anything. Everyone had their phones out laughing, I honestly didn't see what was funny. "Guys that's enough, give the boy a break, c'mon Nate", I heard a very familiar voice say behind me. I turned around and it was Cole Michaelson, my heart started beating rapidly fast. "Since when did you start feeling sorry for the gay boy?", Andre asked. "I'm doing charity work", he mumbled grabbing my back pack and leading me outside away from the crowd as everyone watched me , laughing. He took me to the parking lot and then my driver looked at me crazy. There was no way I could go in there. Cole scratched his head and then took a hose and then turned it on and all the water hit me, Washing off the paint from my body. Why was he helping me? we haven't spoken in years. The paint was out but I was now completely soaked. My driver got out and put a large water proof sheet on the chair of the back seat, that could help. "Uhm... t... thanks for helping me i-", he didn't let me finish, he just jogged off back into school. That was so strange. The drive back home was a long one, I had already made up my mind, I was going to transfer, I don't care if it's the last year, I can't deal with them anymore. When I got back home, I took a proper shower and then went downstairs to have lunch. "Hello Nate, how was school today?",my mother asked. I shook my head, "I want to apply for a transfer, I don't know if it's last minute", I said. She looked at me, a little bit stunned. "A transfer? why so soon, what happened?". "Got kicked into a trashcan and had paint spilled on me", I said calmly eating my food. "What! that's just too much, I'm going to contact your school and -" "Mom you've done that too much and they've done nothing about it okay? honestly I'm tired, let's just leave ", I said. "But, an old friend of yours needs your help with school, he was hoping you'd tutor him at any price you wanted ", she said. It better not be Jamal. "Friend?", I asked.Almost immediately, the door bell rang.
"Yes yes, I think that's him, go and check the door ", she said. "Mom". "Come on now, go and check", she said again. I took a deep breath in and then went to the door. I swear to God if it's Jamal I'll have his head buried in- Oh shit. You will not believe who I'm standing face to face with. Cole MichaelsonCHAPTER FORTYThe car ride home was the longest silence I’ve ever sat in.No music. No talking. Just rain starting up again and the sound of the wipers dragging across the windshield.Cole drove like a ghost — eyes fixed on the road, jaw locked. His knuckles were white around the steering wheel.I didn’t even know if he saw the traffic lights or just felt them.I wanted to say something — anything — but the words kept dying before they reached my mouth. What do you even say after watching someone’s father slice him open with words?When he finally pulled up in front of my house, he didn’t move. The engine hummed.“You want to come inside?” I asked quietly.He shook his head. “Not yet.”I hesitated, then reached over and turned the ignition off. The car went quiet, except for the rain.“Then we can just sit,” I said.He leaned back in the seat, eyes closed, breathing hard. For a second, he looked less like the invincible Cole everyone knew and more like a kid trying not to break.“I sh
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINEBy Tuesday, everyone had seen it.The video. The confession. Us.There wasn’t a single hallway, phone screen, or group chat that didn’t have our faces in it. I knew that before I even got to school, but seeing it in person hit different.People didn’t whisper anymore. They stared. Out loud.Some laughed.Some just looked at me like I was contagious.I tried to focus on walking straight, keeping my head up, pretending the noise didn’t exist.But the noise followed.“Guess they really did it.”“Can you believe Cole of all people?”“Poor Ariana.”“Poor Nate.”That one stung the most. Poor Nate. Like I was some sad, doomed puppy who needed saving.When I reached my locker, Cole was already there. Hoodie up. Head down.We didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Just… existed.Then he said, “You good?”I laughed, hollow. “Define good.”He gave a half-smile. “Breathing?”“Barely.”He nodded like that was enough for now.The hallway noise kept building — the kind of buzz th
The rain came before the morning did.Soft, rhythmic, like the sky was trying to hush the world. It should’ve been peaceful — the kindof morning that made you want to stay under the sheets, pretend nothing outside existed. But peacewasn’t something I could afford anymore.Cole’s arm was around my waist, heavy and protective, like even in his sleep he was daring theuniverse to come close. His breath brushed my neck, slow and even, and for a minute, I just stayedthere — still, watching the faint light slip through the curtains and fall across his face.He looked different when he slept. Softer. Like the walls he built just… didn’t exist for a while.And damn, it was dangerous — how much I liked that version of him.He stirred, his nose brushing my shoulder. “You’re staring,” he muttered, voice still rough withsleep.I smiled. “You’re imagining things.”“Uh-huh.” His lips curved. “You always do that when you think I’m asleep.”“Do what?”“Look at me like I’m gonna disappear.”My che
By Wednesday, the school felt like a stage and we were the unwilling headliners.Every hallway we walked through came with a soundtrack of whispers, half-hidden phones, andthat fake laugh people use when they want you to know they’re talking about you.I was trying to play it cool — keep my head up, keep my steps even — but my stomach keptdoing this nervous rollercoaster flip thing.Cole?He walked like nothing bothered him.Hands in his hoodie pocket. Earbuds in. Calm as ever.It made me crazy — in the good way and the what-the-hell-how-do-you-do-that way.“You’re staring,” he said, glancing at me as we walked.I blinked. “I’m not.”He smirked. “You totally are.”“Shut up.”He chuckled. “You love me though.”And I hated how easily my heart stuttered when he said that — so casually, like it was nothing.Like it wasn’t everything.We reached my locker, and for once, no one said anything. Maybe the novelty was wearing off. Ormaybe Ariana had moved on to her next round of chaos.I sho


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