ANMELDENDear Diary,I've started journalling again after two years. The reason I stopped was because of a man. And the reason I'm writing again is because of another man. I think I'm cursed in that department.I'm ten days into getting over Darnell and somehow it feels like I haven't made any progress at all. Like for one, if I'm really determined on getting over him, I wouldn't be writing it down in a damn book. I dropped the pen and closed the book harder than necessary. This wasn't working. I picked up my coffee and took a sip before setting it back down. I remembered asking for vanilla in my coffee but it tasted completely bland. One of the many reasons I missed Café Denise.I'd found this new place called Haven a few miles down the street and thought I'd give it a try. What I learned was that nothing was going to top Café Denise. At least nobody here was clearing out the entire café to corner me, and I was choosing to be content with that.It was around seven in the evening. I'd left th
I never entertained the idea of my own home becoming my personal hell. Somehow I doubt it's the house. Hell is wherever Maurice is. My grip on the headrest tightened and my eyes pressed shut.I'd checked everywhere. The closets, the bathroom, every drawer. I even checked the vents. There wasn't any left. Not even one.My eyes snapped open with the pounding ache and gnawing need. My blood pressure was climbing by the second and the sweat pooling on my skin was making everything worse.I let go of the headrest and grabbed the gum pack, pouring the last two pieces into my mouth to keep my jaw occupied. The bottle had held nearly fifty pieces and I'd opened it in the morning. It helped with the craving but it only lasted a few minutes before it came back worse than before.I can't do this.I strode toward the door and opened it, closing it behind me as I headed downstairs to the kitchen. There had to be something in the cabinets. Something to stop the drums in my head. Maurice was nowhere
"You haven't touched your food, you should eat. It'll help you recover faster," Simone said, hovering over me."I'm not hungry," I replied, dropping the fork onto the platter."You haven't eaten anything since yesterday."I sighed and looked at her, then past her at the white wall. "I'll eat when I'm out of here.""Darnell, you know you can't leave until you get better," Simone said."I feel better.""What she means is," Maurice said, walking in, "you can't leave until the doctors clear you."I sank my head into the stiff pillow and closed my eyes. I needed to get out of here."You're all acting like he's five. If he wants to leave we should let him," Serena said from the corner, and for once I actually agreed with something out of her mouth."...but he needs to walk out of this hospital unassisted."I take that back."I can walk," I argued, and all three of them gave me the same skeptical look.Serena got up and crossed to the bed. "Okay then," she said, lifting the tray off my lap a
Focus, Rhea. Focus.Re-evaluation of financial assets. I vividly remembered being taught how to do this but sitting here with the blank pages of my laptop staring back at me, I wasn't sure I knew how anymore. Or at least had the capacity to actually focus.I picked up my coffee and took a sip. The heat stung my tongue but I downed it anyway."Are you done with that?" Angela asked from behind me."Still working on it," I replied, setting the cup down and stretching my fingers over the keyboard like I was about to do something meaningful."You've been working on that since you came in."Right. I'd been trying not to look at the time since I got here and if you asked me I'd say I'd been sitting here for three miserable days.I typed gibberish. "I'll be done soon."With this speed, I had no idea what I meant by soon.She grabbed the back of my chair and spun it around to face her. I let her. Angela was a Black American woman in her mid-thirties and the only person at Blackridge I actually
I was drowning. The water sat inches from my nose, but I couldn't move, my hands and legs felt paralyzed, like an anchor was lashed to my ankle, dragging me down inch by inch until the water poured into my lungs. And every time it did, a hand would close around my arm and pull me out, and for one second I'd think it was finally over. Then they'd let go, and I'd sink all over again.This time the hand grabbed me and hauled me upward, but my eyes stayed shut. I tried to lift my own hand to brace myself against the surface, but before I could grip anything, the hand released me and I was falling back, faster than the last two hundred times. I reached out to my sides, searching for something to hold onto, but there was nothing there. Before I could process it, my back slammed against the surface of the water and my eyes snapped open.The bright lights stung my eyes, sharp and disorienting, and I narrowed them slightly to soften the glare. I sucked in enough air to fill my lungs and forced
I stared at the text I'd typed and erased it, then started again.ME: Did I do something?I deleted that one too and left the chat before I sent something I'd regret.This wasn't like him. He wouldn't just disappear. I'd gotten so used to him chasing me that I couldn't even consider the idea that he wasn't interested anymore. That should've been a relief, right? But somehow it just left a hollow ache behind my ribs that refused to move no matter how many times I told myself I didn't care.I opened my contacts and pulled out Maurice's number, the one I'd gotten from him on the island, and pressed dial, raising the phone to my ear. It rang once and I almost hung up. Twice, and my heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat, because I still hadn't figured out what I was going to say.I didn't even register the third ring before my stomach churned."Hello?" Maurice said when I didn't speak. A pause. "Rhea?"I opened my mouth. "Hi." It was the only word I could manage."Can I h
"SAVE ME… JAMIE… SAVE ME!""I—I can't. The fire… it's spreading. I can't get over.""YOU CAN'T SAVE YOUR OWN MOTHER? WHAT A PATHETIC, USELESS SON YOU ARE!""I'm trying… I'm sorry. Please…""I SHOULD'VE NEVER LET YOU COME INTO THIS EARTH. I SHOULD'VE KILLED YOU!""No. No. No—"My eyes snapped open.
He had that smug grin on his face and somehow it made him look annoyingly attractive."So are you going to let me in, or do I need to make a scene?"I kept my hold on the door, giving him a look that said no, even though in my head he was already inside.He nodded and took a step back. I thought he
I have many reasons for coming back home. One, I have school stuff to take care of. Two, I couldn't shake the gnawing feeling that my dad was onto me. And three… the one that might be the actual reason, but I don't want to get into that right now.I pulled my apartment key from my bag, slid it into
I heard her move, the cupboard creaked open, hangers shifting, then it closed again."How old are you?""Twenty three.""You can tell me the truth."She hesitated. I opened my eyes. She'd pulled on an oversized shirt and was standing near the cupboard, looking at the floor. "I'm eighteen."I hated







