Chapter 5

"No." l said.

"That can't be." l was in denial, but l saw it in Alpha Luca's eyes that he wasn't joking.

"She will be buried later tonight, and I think you should go pack. I'll prepare a car to take you there." He said, and I knew at that point that he wasn't joking.

l tried to think about all the good memories that I shared with my sister Sideline. They weren't much, and they were mostly initiated by me. The only memories that I remembered perfectly well were the bad ones. Her selfishness and hate for me. She went above and beyond to get me in trouble with our parents, and she always succeeded.

My mind and my thoughts were all over the place when I left Alpha Luca's office and went to my room.

"Oh my god, I just heard, and I'm so so sorry." Dr Jamie said, hugging me as l packed.

I didn't even hear him come in, but his hug was exactly what l needed. He was like a second father to me. The father who Loved Me through everything, and he wasn't even my biological father.

"Why can't I feel it? She was my twin sister, and I have to feel it." I said in a panic. My heart couldn't accept that I lost a part of me even though everybody was telling me I did.

"You're still in shock." He said.

"l ju-- l ne-- l need to think." l said, and he nodded.

"I'll be right outside if you need me." He said.

I sat down on the floor with my back against the bed. l don't remember the last time me and Sideline and I had a decent conversation. I resented her for the love that she got from her parents, and for some reason, she hated me. We were different, but we were still twins, and she was my sister. I couldn't help but cry for the relationship we didn't have. I cried for the memories we should have shared together. I cried for her life, which was cut short.

My mind took me to Arnold. I can't even begin to think how he feels to have lost his mate. My parents must have been devastated because they loved her with everything.

I pulled myself together and packed my clothes. A part of me didn't want to go. There are a lot of people that I don't want to face, but I owe myself this much, or l will always regret my decision.

As soon as I left my room, I was bombarded by hugs. The Blue Moon pack has been my home away from home, and they have shown me nothing but love.

"Come back soon." Said Luna said hugging me, and l nodded.

"We still have a lot to talk about. I'll be waiting for you when you get back." Jonah said, and I nodded yet again. Honestly, it's the last thing on my mind right now.

"Jonah, not now." I said looking at him. I felt like the pieces of my life were scrambling, and I was going back to where it all started.

"I love you and wish you would let me come with you and be there for you." He hugged me, but l shook my head.

I will forever be indebted to Jonah, and it's made my life more complicated than ever, and I don't want him to do anything for me anymore.

"This is something that I need to do alone."

I'm not ready to confront that part of my life yet, but now I don't have a choice but to go back.

I would be lying if I said that I never thought of Sideline in all these years, but I always found peace and solace in the fact that she was happy and she had Arnold to protect her and cherish her.

Everything was happening just too fast because within a few hours, I was standing right in front of the Spirit Lake packhouse.

"Si!" I didn't even see the hug coming, but it felt like home.

Mary pulled away from the hug and looked at me from head to toe.

She was literally bawling her eyes out, and I could tell that it came from a place of love, and she missed me.

"Oh my god, let's go and find Drew. He'll be happy to see you." She said through tears.

Mary was an Omega and also Drew's mother. People used to bully Drew because of his mother's position within the Pack, but he had me back then, and I made sure to kick some asses.

"Is he happy?" I ask. I didn't even have the courage to call Drew in the last 5 years. I didn't want to hear the disappointment and the hate that he had for me.

"That boy can never be too angry at you." She said, linking our arms. I remember how my child wished she was my mother throughout my whole childhood. they may have been in the lowest rank in the Pack, but Drew had a mother's love.

"Where is everybody?" I asked, looking around. I didn't expect a huge welcome or anything of that sort, but there's nobody outside, and it sounds really quiet here.

"The alpha's house." She said, looking at me sympathetically. "They're holding a memorial ceremony, and I stayed behind to make some food for everybody."

"How did Sideline die?" l asked. I didn't like the sympathy and the pity that I was getting from people. My sister and I were sisters in paper and blood, but she was selfish and self-centered.

Before Mary could answer, we were interrupted.

"Look what the cat dragged in." He said. His baritone voice is one that l will never forget.

I didn't want to look over at him, but I couldn't help myself. He looks more mature than he did five years ago. His eyebrows are thin and narrow, and he has angular cheekbones with a flinty jaw. No male model in the fashion magazines I looked to could match him. But his green eyes, which I used to adore, lost their light, and I could see his exhaustion and confusion there. It made my heart ache.

“Alpha Arnold.”