Chapter 4

5 years later

l felt his presence. He was watching me. It didn't bother me back then because it felt like an extra layer of protection, but now it was suffocating me.

Jonah was the first person I met when I came to Blue Moon Pack. When I stumbled into this pack, hungry, alone, and heartbroken, Jonah was the one who found me. It was a miracle that he decided to check out the nearby grounds to his pack, or else I would have probably died of exhaustion.

He was really kind, and he gave me more than I expected. He was supposed to kill me at first sight because packs don't kindly take to visitors who come unannounced, but somehow, he knew I wasn't a rogue.

"Hey you." l plasted a fake smile turning around to face him.

"I know you don't like being bothered when you're working, but I hope we can get some lunch." He said looking at me gently. I was avoiding being anywhere near him these days because I know what he'll ask, and I don't think that's what I want.

"I'm still a little busy, but maybe we can do it tomorrow." I continue my work at hand and say. I was trying to avoid the inevitable, but I know it's going to catch up with me eventually.

"No, we're doing it today because you've been busy, and you deserve a break." He said, taking my bag and pulling me along.

I thought starting over in this pack was exactly what I needed, and I think it worked for the first few years, but now I don't want to be here anymore. That doesn't mean I don't like the Blue Moon pack. In fact, I had such a wonderful time here that it made me throw away my past at Spirit Lake Pack until I found out Jonah had a crush on me, which weighed on me.

The failures I had made me not want to fall in love with anyone else.

"Can I take a prelunch break." l asked Doctor Jamie. I was baking with my eyes for him to say no, but he was just too ecstatic to see Jonah and me together.

"Of course you can, and you can take the rest of the day off as well." He said, smiling, and l internally cursed.

I really love Jamie, he's the one who made me call Blue Moon Pack home. He agreed to take me in, nursed me back to health, and even let me help out at the Pack Hospital without any prior experience. But at the moment I hate him. He's one of the few people in this pack that I've told about my past, but he's still pushing me towards a man I feel nothing for.

I found myself sitting there with everyone stealing glances at us as we sat in the restaurant. It's quite clear that everybody knows what's going to happen because everybody is looking at us and smiling.

"You look miles away." Jonah said. I would really love to see my face at this moment because all sorts of thoughts are running through my mind, and I am way out of my element right now.

"It's honestly been a long day." I shrugged my shoulders and said. I think it's been a long month because I've been avoiding Jonah, and it's hard to avoid somebody in a small place like this.

"I haven't seen you in quite a while, and I actually thought you were avoiding me, but I don't know why I think it's a lot more than that." He said. I could talk from his smile that whatever he was thinking was something I'm not going to like.

"Listen, you know how much I care about you, and I want the best for you, but—" For a second, I was about to tell him the truth because I didn't want to break his heart by rejecting him in front of everybody, but he cut me off before I could finish.

"I want to be the one who says it first." He said looking at me shyly. I don't know why Jonah can't read it on my face or at least read through the lines that I don't want him.

I believe he thinks that I'm about to tell him that I love him.

That has been the last thing on my mind ever since I came here.  Love just takes me back to what I ran away from, and I hate thinking about it because I know my heart will never accommodate somebody else.

Jonah and Jamie are the only people who know but they have it in their minds that l have moved on, yes I smile a lot better than I did when I first came here, I actually enjoy going out a lot more now and I've made a lot of friends but that doesn't mean that I forgotten my past.

"Do you know why I brought you to my back when I found you there that night?" He asked, and l shook my head sideways. "I fell in love with you at first sight. You were battered and dirty, but you were still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, and I was hooked from that moment." 

I will forever be indebted to him, and I hate it because it's now like a loan that I can't pay.

I didn't know Jonah was in love with me back then because I wouldn't have stayed here if l did. I know how much an unrequired love hurts, and I can't believe I unknowingly put him through the same thing.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask him. I found out over a month ago that he had feelings for me, and I've been avoiding him at all costs.

"Because you wouldn't return my feelings back then, but now I can see how you feel about me." He said excitedly. It gets worse because he actually thinks that I feel the same way, but I don't.

"Jonah, l--"

We were interrupted by a frantic looking Lidya who ran into the restaurant.

"Sienna, Alpha is looking for you, and it's very urgent." She said, and the look in her eyes had me alarmed.

"Excuse me."

I hastily got up and apologized to Jonah, then ran to the Packhouse. I don't know why the Alpha Luca could possibly be calling me, but a part of me was also running away from what was about to happen.

Alpha Luca shouted, "Come in!" before I could even knock.

I didn't have to ask him if something was wrong because I saw the sympathy and pity in his eyes.

“We've received word that your twin sister has passed away.”