chapter 1

Maeve.

I have never had an orgasm before, and Philips and I haven’t been together in over three months because he goes home to his parents during holidays, while I live close to the college with mine. I missed him, which is why I wanted our first-year relationship anniversary to be special.

I wore the lingerie Rue helped me pick out and headed to his apartment near the school.

But then he hit me with,

"Maeve, I don't want to touch you. I'm not in the mood."

I stilled for a moment, my throat tightening as embarrassment washed over me. Did he not miss me as much as I missed him?

"Phillips, seriously? We haven't seen each other in three months. I have missed you, and it's our first-year anniversary," I muttered, feeling stupid for trying to make it special—and for putting on lingerie.

"Can you try to understand that I'm not in the mood right now? I just want to rest, Maeve. I had a long day today." he muttered, facing the other side of the bed, unbothered.

I gulped hard, clutching the duvet tight in my hands.

"Fine, if you say so," I said, trying to sound okay, but frustration bubbled under the surface. I hadn’t been touched in three months, and I was aching for him. Sex with Philips had always felt like a chore sometimes, but I loved him, so I’d put up with it.

It took me a while to fall asleep, but then I woke up to sounds that made my stomach twist—someone moaning and growling.

I froze for a minute before quietly heading to the bathroom to check. To my surprise, I saw Philips stroking his dick while on a video call with a woman.

He was talking in a low, urgent voice.

“Baby, I can’t wait to see you, ” he said. “You were amazing the last time and your tits are so big”

She replied softly, “me too. I know you love my tits boo” and it made my chest tighten.

I let out a scoff and stormed in. “Philips, what are you doing?”

Phillips quickly hung up the phone.

"Maeve… I…" he stuttered, and my heart was racing like crazy.

Philip was cheating on me. Is that why he didn’t want to touch me? Why he didn’t seem bothered even though we hadn’t seen each other in three months?

Philips was the first person I had ever given my all to. I couldn’t believe he was doing this to me.

"You’re cheating on me?" My voice cracked.

"No, I’m not. I’ve been thinking about this for far too long. How about we try an open relationship? I mean… see other people. Relationships with one person are so boring. You’d eventually get tired," he said confidently like it meant nothing.

A scoff left my lips. "Philip… what?"

"Yes. I mean, see other people while in a relationship. It’s normal. People do it these days. We can have fun with others too." he shrugged it off like a normal thing. I mean I just caught him cheating.. Really? I had no idea how to feel.

"So… that’s why you denied me sex? Because you have other people?"

"Maeve… I’m tired of you. I want to explore," he said bluntly, and my heart stopped. That was all I needed to know.

"I mea… I’m not tired…" he cleared his throat, like he realized he’d said the wrong thing.

"I mean… we shouldn’t hold each other back. I still care about you."

"No, you don’t," the realization hit me. I wasn’t enough for him.

I had given this relationship my all. I couldn’t believe he wanted to see other people.

"I can't have an open relationship, Philips. Just go be with whoever you want!" I voiced, feeling suffocated. I wanted to leave, but it was too early, I couldn’t believe him.

"Maeve…" he called out. I walked back to the bed, a tear slipping down my cheek.

He didn’t even try to follow me. Instead, he continued his call with the other woman. I felt neglected and stupid. By morning, I left his apartment without a word.

*

"He is so stupid for that. I knew something was off with that dude," Rue said over the phone.

"I'm literally losing it, even though I’m trying to stay calm," I admitted.

"Told you to get a vibrator. These men are pieces of shit. But hey, you can still make yourself feel good," Rue said, her voice sounding excited.

"Rue…" I called out, getting down from the taxi and walking to open the door.

"Girl, come on! You’ve been sex-starved for months. I would go crazy if I were you. Just try it. You’ll feel better."

I shook my head at her idea and collapsed onto the couch. I felt exhausted.

"Fine, Rue. You are so good at giving weird ideas," I muttered.

She laughed and hung up. The house felt empty, Mom and Dad had gone on vacation, and I wasn’t attending classes today because I felt terrible. Maybe Rue’s idea would help.

I quickly headed to my room while pulling off my trousers and panties. I felt weird, I have never done this before but maybe it would help calm me down.

I laid on the bed and spread my legs wide then I dipped my fingers into my mouth and made it wet before taking it down to rub my clit, a wave of pleasure coursed through my spine. I can't lie, it felt good. I have seen a few pornography videos on women touching themselves, I didn't know the feeling was this great.

I rubbed my clit and moaned, eventually reaching my hands to pinch my nipples..

I continued this act repeatedly until I felt my legs shake and it hit, my pulse quickened and then relaxed and then it dawned on me that I just had an orgasm.

I tried to steady my breathing when a soft clap sounded behind me.

My eyes widened and I froze.

God damn it. Someone was watching me?

I blinked in embarrassment and quickly pulled the blanket over myself. I couldn’t believe I had left the door open.

I stilled the moment our eyes met.

It was him.

My stepbrother—the one I had harbored a secret crush on and hadn’t seen in four years.

The one who left without a word.

Nicholas.