School is a few weeks away. I haven't spoken with Zander or Brittany in a week. Instead, I've been helping my dad paint the house, rebuild his 1976 Corvette, and any other job my dad can come up with.
"Are you okay, Ash?" Dad asks."I guess so, " I say."Well, it's summer, and as much as I enjoy spending time with you, you seem to be running away from something. Are you okay?" Dad asks."No, not really, " I confess.Crap, I didn't mean for that to slip out."Are you and Brittany fighting?" Dad asks."No, not exactly, " I admit."Are you and Zander okay? Did that boy do something to you?" Dad glares."No, nothing. It's Zander we're talking about. As if...." I lie."Well, that'd better be the case. You know how I feel about him, " Dad says."Zander has a girlfriend anyway, " I say."Oh, really? That boy is capable of being in a relationship?" Dad asks."Not, really, dad. They make out a lot, " I reply.I think I've told my dad quite enough."Well, dad, I think I'm gonna call, Brittany. Are we done here?" I ask."Sure, we are, honey. And don't forget you can tell me anything. I love you, Ash," dad says."Love you too, dad," I say.I text Brittany.Me: Brit, are you there?Brittany: Yes, where the hell have you been?Me: Helping my dad around the house.Brittany: Are you grounded or something?Me: Pretty much.Brittany: Can we hang yet? School's going to start soon.Me: I know. Let's go to the pool later today.Brittany: Sure, see you there.I get my bikini on and walk to the neighborhood pool. Brittany greets me and hands me a water bottle. I look in the pool and see Zander making out with Leslie. It makes me uncomfortable.Zander sees me and gets out of the pool. Leslie Thompson follows after. Leslie Thompson is a sweet girl. There's nothing bitchy about her, then why do I suddenly hate her?"Hi, Ash. You know Leslie, right?" Zander asks.How can he ask me that? God, and the things I said to him the night of the party. Barf!! Fucking hell."Yes, I know her. I'm sorry I pushed you in the pool the other night. I thought there was a bee on you," I lie."Oh, is that what all that shoving was about? Well, I'm terribly allergic to them. Thank you," she replies with her perfect white teeth.Leslie Thompson is an angel. Her wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, and soft complexion make me feel like hiding. Zander didn't really mean to call me beautiful; that was a mistake. There's no way I'm beautiful compared to Leslie."How have you been, Ash?" Zander asks.Like screaming at your face, you idiot."I'm great. I've been helping my dad rebuild his 1976 Corvette, " I say."Wow, your dad has one of those?" Zander says, amazed."Yeah, he does. We are rebuilding the engine. My hands have tons of blisters. It's a fun summer project," I say."Ewww, you like to be a grease monkey? So that's what boys are for? Wow, Ash, you really are a boy, aren't you?" Leslie says.If Leslie wasn't a bitch before, she is now."So, I like working on cars. Who cares?" I say."Umm, women everywhere do. That's not cool, Ash. Get with the program," Leslie says."Excuse me?" I say."Honey, you're an upperclassman now. Start acting like it. It's time to drop the tomboy act and start becoming a real woman. No man is going to want to date you. No wonder you're a virgin. Everyone knows you're a stupid pathetic virgin," Leslie laughs.I clench my fist. I think about punching Leslie in the face. I think hard about it. I tackle Leslie Thompson into the pool. Leslie finds me in the water. She grabs my ankle and drags me down to the bottom of the pool. She sits on me below the water. I breathe in water. A lifeguard jumps in and gets Leslie off me. Zander jumps in and drags my body to the side of the pool. I cough all the water out, and then I vomit. The lifeguard gets me water."Excuse me, miss," the lifeguard says."Who me?" Leslie says."Yes, you. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave," the lifeguard says."Why?" Leslie asks."The Springhill Heights Community pool doesn't tolerate horseplay in the water. And you were clearly trying to drown someone. I could report you. But instead, I'm giving you a warning that you are banished from the Springhill Heights Community Pool," the lifeguard says."Well fuck all of you. This pool sucks anyway. Are you coming, Zander?" Leslie says."In a minute," Zander shouts."Go be with Leslie. I'm fine, " I whisper to Zander."Ash, can we talk sometime?" Zander whispers back."Not in your life. Go be with Leslie, and leave me alone," I say."Bye, Ash," Zander says.Zander leaves the pool, and I could care less. Go be with your perfect wicked bitch of the west."Ash, are you okay?" Brittany asks."I was just half-drowned. So no, I'm not okay," I reply."Well, I'm sorry about Leslie. Zander and Leslie are wrong together. I can't believe Zander has a girlfriend. I mean, you literally kept all the girls off him the night of the party. I don't get it," Brittany says."It's a weird mystery, " I say."Want to come over for a sleepover?" Brittany asks."Sure," I reply."Kyle will be there, hanging with Zander," Brittany says."That's fine. I don't really care what Zander does," I reply."Well, see you soon, " Brittany squeaks."Okay, great, " I reply.I know if it's a sleepover involving Kyle, that Brittany will sneak away to have sex. It's typical for our sleepovers. I don't mind. I sit there and watch movies on my phone. Only this time, I will have to avoid Zander. And avoiding Zander Hogan is not like me.A week has passed since I broke up with Zander. Aiden and I are in a new relationship, one I intend to keep. Christmas break is almost here, and with it, the opening of the Nutcracker ballet. I know I'm ready. I have studied and have practiced more and more with Madame. My mother has even attended a few of my last minute one on one sessions. She praised me for my comeback. I know it's a small comeback that a seven-year-old could perform...but for someone with an injury, a comeback has so much meaning. I was told I would never dance again that the tumor in my ankle was too vicious to even dance upon. Well, during Christmas break, I will prove them all wrong during my final performance as a ballet dancer. I have other passions now. Thanks to Aiden and art, I have a desire to pursue more things with my whole heart. Madame has heard about my ballet paintings and has agreed to let me sit in the back of the studio to paint her students in action. She plans to decorate the entire ballet s
Aiden and I get ready to leave the cabin. I put my clothes back on to avoid suspicion from my parents. I'm already going to be in trouble with Zander. I don't need to get my parents mixed up in this drama. At least not today. Aiden gets in the car. He puts his sunglasses on. He is wearing his letterman jacket. The name Buckland is in black bold letters on his back. I wonder if that last name means anything to him now that the cat's out of the bag. I can't worry about that now. I'm a nervous Nellie. It's ridiculous, really. But this is Zander we're talking about. The man I shared my first bed with. Did it mean something, right? Did any of it mean anything? Have I just thrown something special away? Aiden parks in the Hogan's driveway. I get out like an embarrassed deer. Brittany and Stephanie open the door. "Hi, Ashley, why are you with Aiden? You're mom called, and I covered for you. I told her you were asleep. Were you with Aiden all night?" Steph asks. "Yes, I was. That's not i
I wake up to the sounds of a crackling fire. It's 4 am, and Aiden is still half-naked and lying next to me. We've had so much sex these last three days, I'm almost convinced Zander and I broke up. But the truth is we aren't. I'm the worst kind of terrible for it. I never wanted to be a cheater. But what am I supposed to do when Aiden loves me and Zander....wanted sex? I go into the kitchen and look around for anything resembling breakfast food. Instead, I find eggs and bacon. Protein it is, then. Clearly, a man went shopping. The only thing I find remotely similar to juice is lemonade. Good enough for me. Aiden wakes up and squints his eyes. He sniffs around the room, wondering why it smells like meat. A true hunter-gatherer if I ever saw one. He's a caveman at heart. "Are you cooking for me?" "Obviously!" "I knew you were perfect, but this is unexpected." He comes over with his shirt off and shorts on. He has the 'I just had sex' smirk on his face. He waltzes about the cabin, f
I wake up from my post-sex nap. Aiden is still here, holding me. We turn to look at each other. I roll over and lie on his chest. I start kissing him over and over. I don't want this moment with him to end. It's as if I'm trying to make up for the lost time and apologize for my actions. He rolls over and finds himself on top of me again. I admit I'm a confusing girl. But this feeling I have with Aiden is fire. My fire for Zander has gone out, and I know he lied to me. Perhaps I'm horrible for having sex with Aiden now. My parents still haven't come home from work. I'm lucky not to have been caught. "Aiden, can we go to the ballet studio now? I really do need to get this note and x-ray over to Madame." "Sure, give me two more minutes. I want to look at your forever." He looks at my lips and kisses me slowly again. We aren't rushing to leave as I had hoped. Aiden puts himself inside me again as we start having sex a second time. "I love you, Ash. I know you might be confused right
Thanksgiving has come and gone. I haven't spoken with Aiden since we kissed in the art wing. I haven't told Zander. I brush it under the rug. Romance is complicated, and I'm caught in the middle of understanding it. I've distanced myself from Zander. He doesn't seem to notice since he's been busy with the holidays. I've texted him, but I've avoided going to his house. He's invited me to his house plenty of times. I've had lots of opportunities to verify Leslie's claims. I know Aiden needs me to find the truth out for myself. He's been honest with me. I know I told him we would speak later. But I feel like I'm lying to Aiden by not telling him the truth about his origins. He's not a Buckland by blood. And he needs to know this. He will find out from me in due time. My phone dings; it's Zander. Zander: Are you coming over? Me: Yes, Brittany and Stephanie, and I are having a sleepover. Zander: Want to come to my room later at night? Me: Of courseZander: Great, see you tonight. I
Dad drops me off at school. The glazed donuts are tucked away safely for my friends. I think we all need a pick me up every once in a while. My friends need me to do something nice for them every once in a while. Zander finds me in the parking lot. He looks perplexed as to why my dad took me to school this morning instead of him."Why are you with your dad?""Because we're related. Are you mad about something?" I ask, confused. "Hmmm...well, let's see. I woke up, and you were gone." "We aren't married, Zander. I needed to get home. And my mom caught me sneaking back into my room at 5:30 am. It wasn't exactly fun for me. Then my dad ended up taking me to a donut breakfast early in the morning. I bought you one. Want one?" I pull out a glazed donut hoping it will change Zander's sour mood. He takes it. He's unimpressed. He sinks his teeth into the donut, and immediately his mood changes. "Are these from Danny's Donut Cafe? We used to go there....""Every Saturday in our pajamas. I